- Joined
- Dec 20, 2012
- Messages
- 798
Hey guys,
So I'm looking for some extra insights from you guys on "making a connection".
Lets imagine I'm at a bar. I've somehow introduced myself, I know her name, I know where she's from, what she does, maybe we bantered a little... we've been chatting for a few minutes.
The next part is where it can be hit and miss for me... I need to improve on it but I'm struggling to think of exact techniques or paths to explore. (e.g. If I go out this week I want a gameplan of what I'm working on and a set idea of what I'm trying out.)
So from reading all of Chases' great articles I need to begin to deep dive here.
I seem to stumble on 2 counts:
- Having any tried and tested conversation "routes" into the deep dive. I seem to just fish a lot. If something sticks I do great but often nothing does and I flounder. (I'm not really looking to memorize routines but I want to be able to thread the conversation down a path which is constructive.)
- I feel too "serious" when I do this. Like I still need to be more light-hearted somehow.
So I guess what I'm asking is for examples... at this point in the interaction, I should have some idea where I want to take the conversation. I should at least have a structure as to where I am leading things rather than fishing for something to make a connection.
Could any of you guys offer any ideas or insights here? Do you have a high level plan at this point? Do you have any specific areas you tend to lead the conversation or favourite things to question and deep dive about?
My main goal is to improve my interactions beyond just approaching. I want to solidly make connections with women and know how I am doing it, so I can repeat.
Many thanks for any insights guys.
E.
So I'm looking for some extra insights from you guys on "making a connection".
Lets imagine I'm at a bar. I've somehow introduced myself, I know her name, I know where she's from, what she does, maybe we bantered a little... we've been chatting for a few minutes.
The next part is where it can be hit and miss for me... I need to improve on it but I'm struggling to think of exact techniques or paths to explore. (e.g. If I go out this week I want a gameplan of what I'm working on and a set idea of what I'm trying out.)
So from reading all of Chases' great articles I need to begin to deep dive here.
I seem to stumble on 2 counts:
- Having any tried and tested conversation "routes" into the deep dive. I seem to just fish a lot. If something sticks I do great but often nothing does and I flounder. (I'm not really looking to memorize routines but I want to be able to thread the conversation down a path which is constructive.)
- I feel too "serious" when I do this. Like I still need to be more light-hearted somehow.
So I guess what I'm asking is for examples... at this point in the interaction, I should have some idea where I want to take the conversation. I should at least have a structure as to where I am leading things rather than fishing for something to make a connection.
Could any of you guys offer any ideas or insights here? Do you have a high level plan at this point? Do you have any specific areas you tend to lead the conversation or favourite things to question and deep dive about?
My main goal is to improve my interactions beyond just approaching. I want to solidly make connections with women and know how I am doing it, so I can repeat.
Many thanks for any insights guys.
E.