married women = a physical risk

[PinotNoir]

In light of the recent article by Chase and the apparent debate going on in the forums (that I didn't know about), I wanted to make an important note.

No matter if you morally/ethically agree/disagree with having sex with married women, just know that it's a physical risk.

A friend of a friend (I know this usually means BS, but my friend showed me pictures of the incident, and he's a close friend) got caught making love to a married women by the husband. They were both completely naked, and the husband was of course enraged. He beat the guy to a pulp: bloody nose, broken jaw, etc. He beat the guy while he was naked.

The incident happened in the husband's apartment, so he didn't get any punishment by the local government according to my friend. I don't know the full legal story here, so not sure if that's true.

Yes, maybe the guy should have brought the married woman back to his place, etc. He could have been more careful.

But, I do think that it's physically riskier than dating a single woman. It's just something to think about, no matter if you agree or disagree with the act.

I think what would be worse is to have sex with a woman, and she never tells you that she's married, and then the husband shows up. So maybe, just always have sex at your place and/or the car!

 

[Franco]

Pinot,

I won't comment on the large thread that was referred to in Chase's recent article as that would require a much longer and thought-out response from me that I do not have the time to do (at least at the moment). But this was interesting:

I think what would be worse is to have sex with a woman, and she never tells you that she's married, and then the husband shows up. So maybe, just always have sex at your place and/or the car!

Personally, I believe it is up to the woman to let you know as much about her own life as she's willing to admit, and if she leaves out the part about her having a boyfriend or a husband, then that huge responsibility is relieved from me. If the husband were to show up angry, then I would say, "Hey man, I'm sorry if this caused you any emotional stress because I did not know this. I'll take my leave now." If he were to somehow approach me aggressively, then I would either A) defend myself and kick his ass if necessary, or B) run away if I feel like I have an escape route or the husband seems overwhelmingly stronger than myself. Either way, I'm not going to let the fear of a woman possibly having another man in her life stop me from getting women into my OWN life!

With that being said, it is actually pretty rare to not have a woman to at least bring UP the fact that she's seeing someone, and it's simply for the reason you are concerned about: she doesn't want to feel like she is the one completely at fault if something were to happen between you two. It's a way of preserving her reputation (at least slightly) if something were to happen between you two sexually.

The cases where you WILL see a woman not tell you about her significant other is when she knows she basically has no chance of being caught. If you've ever been on a far-away vacation (or been to Vegas), then maybe you've been hit on by a married woman before. And I know this can happen, because it's happened to me! =)

- Franco

 

[PinotNoir]

Franco, that is a good point, and I was probably ruled by emotions when writing that part. Your life should not be ruled by fear. However, I still don't want any part of my body injured though, so I'm always going to be ruled by some fear. I guess you want a good middle ground. You don't want to be like the dodo bird (went extinct because fearless) or be too cowardly where you can't even live an enjoyable, happy life. If the woman is open to it and the risk is low....

On your statement about being abroad, it's funny because if I think about if I were in Italy and some married woman approached me, it doesn't *feel* as bad for some reason. That's probably due to my only experience with an Italian women (not born in US) being very open sexually (not married, but just openly talked about it, etc.). So it's interesting how I think when in a different country compared to in my own. Still, there are plenty of (beautiful and willing) single women for me

On whether you should be with married women or not (not directed at Franco, just on the general topic for future readers):

The problem with discussing anything related to moral/ethics requires an almost extensive knowledge of the philosophies already present, from the big 3 (Socrates, Plato, Aristotle) to modern, and then it gets on topics of whether you believe in moral relativism, situational ethics, etc. Forums are fine for discussions, but it's not even going to touch the tip of the amount of knowledge/thought that has already occurred on such subjects. This is usually why I try to avoid such discussions, unless I think they can be discussed within the finite space of forums. No one wants to read a book of text on here.

However, I do think it's fine to talk about any concrete possibilities (i.e., facts). One of those is physical fighting that may occur, and I bring this up to potentially help others to not get beaten to a pulp, not to argue. But, at the end of the day, everyone's life is his own. I do not control you, and you do not control me. I take a lot of risks on other levels, just not with married women (and husbands), so I'm not any better, but I do know the risks.

 

[Desert Eagle]

Good thing to point out PinotNoir.

You can so much as look at a girl the wrong way and get a guy who decides to beat the living shit out of you. This is why it's good practice to arm yourself with protective weapons, including defensive physical combat skills. May become good practice to only invite women over to my home, rather than go over to hers!

 

[Nova]

There are so many possible outcomes when it comes to having sex with a married women, so many things to consider. The exact situation that a married women is in is very difficult to read and analyze. To know whether it is 'right' to have sex with a married women for definite you would have to have a pretty good understanding of her situation.

Perhaps she is with a drunk man who spends most of his time away from her in bars etc and doesn't really have any real feelings for her. Is it right to have sex with this women, and give her a night of passion, something different from what she is used to, something that she will remember and use to reinvigorate herself and find somebody else that actually cares for her? I would argue yes. It could end up being a night in her life that inspires her to rethink things and get back on track.

Maybe though she is in happy stable marriage with a loving man but can't help control her implules that you create in her through seduction (we are all only anmals with instincts at the end of the day). Should you have sex with her if you know this to be true? If you are a 'good' man? - Probably not, you could potentially harm a perfectly happy marriage. Or you might not. You never know.

I believe, untimately, when it comes to married women, unless you have a very good reading on her sitation (which you probably don't, even if you think you do) it is best for HER if you leave it. You just don't know enough about the situation and potentially disrupting one or two lives is a distinct possibility.

But its like anything really, you need to use your brain to determine individual situations and gather how to correctly advance by analyzing all the details and complexities that come with that situation. If you have nothing to go on, then its a gamble, simple as. Thing is when your gambling with married women there is probably, generally, a bias towards messing things up for her.

But I don't think anybody should judge a man for sleeping with a married women so quickly, as they don't know how things unfolded themselves or how much of the situation the man understood.

Things are never so black and white. Everybody has their own opinion, set of morals and outlook and everbody loves to voice what they believe to be true (especially on the internet, where there are no reprocussions). In reality though, nobody really knows what is right or wrong without actual experience of what took place.