Meet a Girl last night, Hit it off, and she ignores

[CollegeBrotha2]

I am really just looking for a different perspective because this is starting to eat at me, like these things usually do. I met this girl last night who was gorgeous and we had some small amount of history i was able to draw on to start a conversation. Granted we were not sober and my memory of the entire conversation is not complete. I walked this girl home once sophomore year once because she was scared or something and needed someone to protect her i guess. Anyway its 3 years later and i reminded her of this. We hit it off and i ended up taking an Instagram of the two of us together, my first Instagram ever, with her. I am not super experienced and it has caused me to be guarded to sleeping with just any girl. After the photo we were cool for awhile but i feel like i said to her that i am not planning on taking any other girls home. I said this cause im not the type of dude to sleep with just anyone and i'd like to get coffee with her in the morning. She said yes to coffee. She left the party a little while later and perhaps it was because i was too aggressive or i fucked it up after by revealing something that turned her off, like my lack of experience. After she left, i ended up talking to another girl for awhile and her friends were around to see this.

In the afternoon the next day, I said to her how it was really nice to see her and id like to get to know her better now that she made my instagram and said i hope you are still up for coffee. I haven't heard back from her and it feels like im being ignored. What do you think? Should i text her something more, days later, or just let it be and go find a new girl to bug? Thanks

 

[Thedoctor]

College,

In this scenario, it sounds like 1 of 3 (or all 3) things happened:

You missed the escalation window, so she went into auto-rejection.

You opened up a bit too much regarding your hurt feelings towards women, which is why your guarded. This won't come off as particularly attractive to her.

Her friends told her you were hitting on another girl. Which she could have taken as you didn't really make a move with her, then you go talk to another girl, so she may have felt like you rejected her.

Social circle parties are kind of a mixed bag since there are a lot more variables. If for whatever reason, you didn't want to sleep with her that night (and if you've both consumed a lot of alcohol, that may actually be a good idea), then you could have taken a different approach. After she agreed to coffee, you'd be better off leaving. You could say something along the lines of "I actually have to go meet some friends somewhere else. But I'll see you tomorrow for coffee." Then take off. You left on a high note, and there's less chance of her attraction fading.

The other thing I noticed is you asked her to go for coffee in the morning, but you didn't text her until that afternoon? And you should be a bit more assertive in your text. Don't say: "Hope you are still up for coffee." You need to set it up. Say something like "Hey, I had fun with ya last night. Does 10:00am work to meet up for that coffee?" Though, I'm also not sure why you'd try to set something up the morning after a party. People are usually hungover, so the chances of her bailing are a lot higher if she's puking her guts out.

You can always try texting her in a few more days and see if she responds.

John