- Joined
- Sep 13, 2016
- Messages
- 7
As is obvious, I am very new here
I've read a few articles and realized that I do have a few of the fundementals from my family; but am missing a lot, so I'm not entirely sure what to do.
This is my year in College, and I'm seeing a multitude of girls which could be potentially open for dates and such. Taking the advice given, I've approached a few, (3 flat-mates and 2 non-flat mates). I realize I was extremely hesitant with flatmates because I didn't want too close a proximity with girls I might have sex with so those three are out of the question.
Of the two others; the first acted aloof, I know I did something quite wrong but don't believe its wholly due to body-language (I looked her in the eyes, about 60% of the time when talking to her, I touched her repeatedly on the arms, and I tried to isolate her); I could barely isolate her and engage her in meaningful conversation even though I tried to deep-dive (I think I tried to deep-dive too harshly or too early, I'm not entirely sure.). In this case I'm not sure if I am at fault, or if she was simply not interested - possibly both; but I know that there are others so I didn't pursue the matter too much.
The second seemed open to advances and since I'm in her class (one of the few girls in my class), I decided to go slightly slowly, aiming for a longer term relation. at one point I walked her to her dorm, while trying to escalate (verbally and physically, but not enough of either, I realize that) and she did not see me nearly enough in a sexual light to act there, so I took her contact; later we contacted and are meeting in a very public place which we both need to attend (so I can't refuse), I can try to isolate her again there, but I know the environment is not conducive to any sexual encounter, but since I'm aiming longer term, I assume that if I show interest and break off, it might get her to chase (?). As compared to her, I am dominant, but we are both completely inexperienced; I assume a main reason for the lack of interest before was both due to my fault and her romantic ideals (and that really awkward location). I feel that I need her to chase quite a bit before actually sleeping in a flat with several other people in close proximity and small beds. I know I am in danger of the friend-zone right here, but I'm not entirely sure what to do. I know that I can break it off and get another girl, but for practicality's sake, it would be difficult to find another as easily.
Could you guys give any major advice? or help? should I just dump the second and try again with another (though I do feel like trying, and being intelligent, she would make a very useful professional acquaintance if it doesn't work out)? I am confident in myself in general, but deep-diving seems like pulling nails at present, and though I exude the intelligent/genius vibe (I have been called both several times), I don't think I possess any sexual vibe.
I also hate parties, I believe that this basically disqualifies me from the majority of the girls in uni, so I'm thinking I should concentrate on other girls with the "intelligent/genius/smart" vibe, they seem to be the ones who prefer the one-on-one deep conversations to excitement.
One more thing, I am going to make contacts in the university, these contacts are far more important to me then any girl (As I might start a business), so between friends and girlfriends, I will mostly pick the former unless they have no purpose as a major contact or partner.
Any advice? Thank-you!
PS: I believe that my fundementals are largely in check (I come from one of the defunct Indian noble families so a lot of manners, postures and looks have been transmitted, though I'm half Indian, half French, and look more French then Indian), I keep my posture open, my eyes focused, I don't wiggle around, I try to be entirely concentrated on the person speaking; though I also attempt to include everyone in a conversation, so that's not fantastic.
I've read a few articles and realized that I do have a few of the fundementals from my family; but am missing a lot, so I'm not entirely sure what to do.
This is my year in College, and I'm seeing a multitude of girls which could be potentially open for dates and such. Taking the advice given, I've approached a few, (3 flat-mates and 2 non-flat mates). I realize I was extremely hesitant with flatmates because I didn't want too close a proximity with girls I might have sex with so those three are out of the question.
Of the two others; the first acted aloof, I know I did something quite wrong but don't believe its wholly due to body-language (I looked her in the eyes, about 60% of the time when talking to her, I touched her repeatedly on the arms, and I tried to isolate her); I could barely isolate her and engage her in meaningful conversation even though I tried to deep-dive (I think I tried to deep-dive too harshly or too early, I'm not entirely sure.). In this case I'm not sure if I am at fault, or if she was simply not interested - possibly both; but I know that there are others so I didn't pursue the matter too much.
The second seemed open to advances and since I'm in her class (one of the few girls in my class), I decided to go slightly slowly, aiming for a longer term relation. at one point I walked her to her dorm, while trying to escalate (verbally and physically, but not enough of either, I realize that) and she did not see me nearly enough in a sexual light to act there, so I took her contact; later we contacted and are meeting in a very public place which we both need to attend (so I can't refuse), I can try to isolate her again there, but I know the environment is not conducive to any sexual encounter, but since I'm aiming longer term, I assume that if I show interest and break off, it might get her to chase (?). As compared to her, I am dominant, but we are both completely inexperienced; I assume a main reason for the lack of interest before was both due to my fault and her romantic ideals (and that really awkward location). I feel that I need her to chase quite a bit before actually sleeping in a flat with several other people in close proximity and small beds. I know I am in danger of the friend-zone right here, but I'm not entirely sure what to do. I know that I can break it off and get another girl, but for practicality's sake, it would be difficult to find another as easily.
Could you guys give any major advice? or help? should I just dump the second and try again with another (though I do feel like trying, and being intelligent, she would make a very useful professional acquaintance if it doesn't work out)? I am confident in myself in general, but deep-diving seems like pulling nails at present, and though I exude the intelligent/genius vibe (I have been called both several times), I don't think I possess any sexual vibe.
I also hate parties, I believe that this basically disqualifies me from the majority of the girls in uni, so I'm thinking I should concentrate on other girls with the "intelligent/genius/smart" vibe, they seem to be the ones who prefer the one-on-one deep conversations to excitement.
One more thing, I am going to make contacts in the university, these contacts are far more important to me then any girl (As I might start a business), so between friends and girlfriends, I will mostly pick the former unless they have no purpose as a major contact or partner.
Any advice? Thank-you!
PS: I believe that my fundementals are largely in check (I come from one of the defunct Indian noble families so a lot of manners, postures and looks have been transmitted, though I'm half Indian, half French, and look more French then Indian), I keep my posture open, my eyes focused, I don't wiggle around, I try to be entirely concentrated on the person speaking; though I also attempt to include everyone in a conversation, so that's not fantastic.
