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FU  Memoir part 2. The girl from back in the day

Adamantimus

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 28, 2014
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18
Okay, so this will be the second one of my threads considering a girl from the past. After this I won't be writing whole threads of past girls.

I was in a different educational institution back when this happened. It was a many years ago, and this girl was one of the first of my greater crushes. Of course, as inexperienced I was, i botched it up.

I initally had a crush on this girl because she resembled one of my ex crushes. This was all it needed to take. Although it also helped that she was really pretty and had a long, healthy hair.


I'm going to keep it short here:

In the beginning I had a few small talks with her, we did get along at least somewhat well. One time she would come sit at my table at the diner, which I made myself a remark of. I added her FB and chatted with her there at times. She wouldn't initate the conversation, I would always be the one starting the small talks. Of course, by doing this I was putting myself very well to the FZ. At least I should've asked her for a date.

I remember this one small talk via FB, where we talked about various things. In the end she said, "Okay. I'm going to go watch television now. Bye!"
I thought to myself, "Really? We're having a conversation and the television's a better alternative for you?", but I didn't say anything.

But what made the whole case special, was that we flirted. A lot. Or at least it seemed like that. It was flirting only in the nonverbal dimension, but it felt great to me. I had never before experienced a girl giving romantic attention to me like this.

We would exchange glances during lectures, look at each other from afar at the dining room. Glance each other while dancing separately at the bar with friends or she turning to look at me while she was sitting at the bar counter.

By the way, did I mention this whole thing continued for at least half years?

I remember when one night I was sitting with my friends in a bar, sitting at a table. It was late in the night. Suddenly I noticed her standing at the cloak room. She was standing there with her friends and looking at me. This wasn't just a quick glance which she would do during the lectures, where she would write into her notebook, and casually glance at me from the side of her eye.
No. She was squared straight towards me, and her look was so intense that time seemed to stop when we nonverbally sucked each others eyes. I think this continued for a good 5 to 10 seconds. Then the cloak man addressed her and she took her coat and left the bar.

During those times I didn't know what to do. I knew she was interested, but didn't know how to get close to her. "She isn't interested in talking with me via FB, how would she be interested in talking with me at a bar, where she has all her friends around her. And when I'm going for her, she knows I'm into her and my cover will be blown.
I'll become a chaser.", I thought to myself.
It felt like there was a room where there was something I deeply wanted, but the door was locked and I didn't have the key.

My emotions towards her, mixed with my inability to make a move ended up in me obsessing over her. I couldn't get my mind out of her and saw often dreams of her.

In the end I became an emotional wreck and ended up removing her from the FB, without saying a word. Then later sending a message to her, basically vomiting my emotions to her and asking her if she feels the same. Well naturally she denied everything, our flirting and everything else. She wrote, "You got it wrong. I just like looking at people. That's all. But I appreciate you opening to me of this =)"

After this my emotions stabled and I carried on.


Around a year later I saw a dream of her, which reminded me of my emotions back then. I ended up requesting her FB again - this time not with romantical motivations, but just to know how she's doing.
We ended up chatting now and then, still very rarely. But I was glad that we had our connection up and running again.

Again around a year later I would get an FB friend request from a FB friend of her. I didn't know this guy at all, so I sent a message to him enquiring what was his motivations of adding me to his FB.
He didn't answer, so I denied his FB request.

A few months later I found out this guy and the girl had started a relationship.

This was quite interesting for me, as it really seemed that the girl had spoke something of me to the guy, which eded up in him requesting my FB in order to know more about me.




But oh well, the faults in my actions which I see now:

- I should've made a move at the bar, instead of getting a defensive stance and just drink her eye flirting.
- The FB-thing's just me setting myself up for a failure.
- Verbal flirting too, not just nonverbal.


Looking at it now, I can see that we were a bit uncompatible. Maybe something could've begun but I've met at least as great girls if not even better since then.

Not regretting anything, istead just taking it as a learning experience.


Okay, guess I couldn't keep it short :D
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake
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