Health Mental and Emotional Management - Advice?

[windsofchange]

Apologies if this is the wrong forum, but it seemed to be health related.

After reading much of the articles here on GC, I've noticed a HUGE problem is lack of emotional control in certain situations. Violent tempers, emotional flares, overreacting to certain things. Kind of like living on a short fuse. Been something I've been having issues with since I was a child.

Alot of the articles talk about how being calm, cool and in control is attractive. My question is how can one achieve that kind of control when natural tendency seems to be cry, whine bitch and overreact. I have tried some therapy stuff, but I find they mostly try to change me to 'nice guy, submissive' type of guy, which I feel is counter-productive. I'm hoping someone here whose been through the task of overcoming and taking control of one's own emotions could give me some advice as to how to go about changing myself for the better.

 

[Ross]

As a kid I was pretty much an emotional wreck. I was prone to violent outbreaks at controlling adults (which only lead to beatings), overreacted quite often to the smallest things, and frequently hid all my feelings away by crying as quietly in my room as I could so that I could avoid being labelled a pussy (even though I was probably already labelled that, as I had cried in elementary/middle school). Anxiety was a daily occurrence for me.

And, to be honest, I'm still prone to this today - but it rarely happens.

These days I just don't take things too seriously. Before I'd often launch into outbreaks because I didn't have control over the situation - and I got over this by stop trying to control other people. And, whenever others try to control me, I know that I can simply walk away - I'm the only one in control of what I do, not others.

So, if you want to take control of your emotions, I'm afraid to tell you that it's pretty hard. Changing mindsets, however, can be done. Changing your mindset into one that doesn't take life too seriously, and lays off trying to control everything will go miles in keeping you in a healthier state of mind, which in turn will give you an infinite fuse for tolerating life's "injustices".

 

[windsofchange]

Thanks for the reply Ross.

Yes I've noticed that it becomes strenous (especially when life throws curveballs) to continually watch the emotions.

But the fact that you were able to overcome the emotional issue simply by changing a mindset is definitely a positive inspiration to follow.

I can definitely agree that the majority of emotional stress comes from trying to control other people or things that I can't do, and definitely something to work on.

As someone who also used to cry in primary/high school situations (really stupid ones now that I reflect on it), I can definitely relate to that. It's tough but the fact that you've found a way to change the mindset to not be affected is definitely inspiring.

Thanks for sharing and wish you more success.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Yeah in my own life I can attest that not taking things too seriously has made a big change in that area and things that used to get at me and keep me up at night simply make me laugh.

I've recently started to look at life like everything is a joke and trying to find the humor in everything possible and make myself laugh.

Obviously still take the important things seriously but in all reality trivial things aren't a huge deal in the long scheme of things and it's almost funny to me these days that people get upset over such stupid things such as:
-People with roadrage
-Getting rejected by a girl (absolutely hilarious)
-When you don't cut your grass every 7 days and your old ass neighbor with nothing better to do comes over and bitches at you to cut your lawn
-making and watching people make social faux paus (just don't judge yourself or them... realize were all flawed humans)

Also I'd highly advise more practical things such as meditation, eating better diet, and exercise if your not doing all those things.

Good luck.

-Rob

 

[windsofchange]

Yes, thank you for sharing Mr. Rob.

I used to take almost everything as a joke, but I was more of a uncalibrated clown than anything. And it's been a battle to try and find that middle ground where I could take things humoristically (on the inside) and still be cool to the outside.

On the topic of meditation, I have noticed it tends to have a positive effect, but I have the problem of being unable to commit to it for days at a time. Which is definitely something I will have to work on.

 

[Ross]

On the topic of meditation, I have noticed it tends to have a positive effect, but I have the problem of being unable to commit to it for days at a time. Which is definitely something I will have to work on.

Small note here, don't stress out about keeping a 'meditation schedule'. I feel that kind of defeats the purpose of meditation... Like you feel bad about not doing it every day at a set time.

A good way to practice meditation is to do it whenever you feel down or decide that it would be a good time to so. If you find that you haven't done it for a few days, don't stress about needing to get into a schedule - just go ahead and start meditating.