Message Online- How Did I Do?

[NotJamesBond]

So I have this shitty little dating account and there's this one broad who caught my eye above the others. Of course, I play it like she's any other and cooked up this little diddy. I say how I found this thing we have in common cool, and then:

"I also noticed you like the beach (who doesn't?!). Ever surf?

Anyway I just wanted to say it was nice to "meet" you
NotJamesBond

P.S. When you land a makeup job in Hollywood and need a guy for a zombie movie, I'm your man "

(she works in make-up)
Is the "I just wanted" too justifying? I've seen Chase use it in his examples...In fact, I basically completely ripped off his example from one of his articles.

What about the rest of the message? Referencing the beach and surfing too cliche' and "obvious"? I actually have been meaning to go surfing for the first time this summer, though, as it turns out.

But it's internet dating so I guess it just comes down to if she finds my profile attractive lol.

 

[Sandman]

In my experience online dating is more about luck than anything else so don't put mental energy in any girl or convo. Either she's into you or not... there's not much you can do online that'll change that.

Still I should add, this is too long a message. Just the first sentence was fine

 

[NotJamesBond]

Certainly I appreciate the help man.

So this dumb site let's them know when you view their profile. I viewed hers like 3 times before I sent a message because I didn't have the paid version yet. My female friend said it's creepy. Is it? I was just reading her profile to brush up...And if I'm attracted obviously I'm going to view it, whats the big deal?

She finally saw my message but didn't respond. She's like the only broad on there who doesn't look like Shrek so I'm kind of bummed but maybe it's a sign to strengthen my day game.

NJB

 

[Seppuku]

Hey,

I have specialized myself in online dating. Last year I tried a systematic Badoo campaign (the online app I'm using) and recorded some statistics. It goes like this (taken from my journal, May 21st 2016 entry):

Statistics on Badoo openers
Since early April, I started a systematic Badoo campaign, and recorded the various outcomes. Here are the stats.

I sent 67 openers, out of which:

* Unread: 25%
* Read, not answered: 18%
* Unworkable: 21%
* Lead nowhere: 17%
* Got contact details or more: 19%

Notes:
* 57% of all openers lead to a response from the girl, and therefore an interaction.
* Unworkable: 21% - The girl answered the opener, but her circumstances mean it can't go anywhere. These are prostitutes, or housemaids (awful logistics), or Risky Africa (too high AIDS rate in country), or profiles disappearing, or girls actually living in another country.
* So 36% of all openers lead to a "workable" chat. This is about 1 in 3.
* 19% of openers lead to getting her contact details - of which 6% ended in my bed.

6% eventually in my bed, out of 67 openers. It's not that bad, 1 in every 6 workable chats. Also, things are never really over. I have several girls here on "contact details" phase, that may still lead to sex later on.

My opener is the simplest possible "Hey, I'm Seppuku". I believe it's the pictures that do the job, rather than the opener. The above tells you all there is to know. 43% of all openers won't be answered, and 21% will be answered but the circumstances mean it can't go anywhere, "unworkable". Eventually about 1 opener in 3 lead to a meaningful conversation, and 1 opener in 5 lead to a phone number.

So:

* It's a number game. Therefore don't put too much energy on any particular girl, until she responds and is confirmed not a time waster.
* Instead, focus on building your pictures and profile.
* And focus on opening as many girls as you can.
* It also means you need to relax your standards one notch lower. If you only speak to the super hottie, you may never have enough numbers to get a significant chance. By relaxing a little bit, you broaden your eligible base. Very useful at the beginning when you're learning all this.


I hope this helps.

Regarding your question, her profile is made precisely with the intention of being viewed, so no, it's not creepy, it's expected. What would be creepy is if she notices that you are looking many times at her profile but not messaging her. Most likely here, she won't be able to tell that you looked at her 3 times before finally messaging, in which case you're good.

Seppuku

 

[NotJamesBond]

Seppuku, I swear you're my mentor at this point.

Yeah, I was spending too much energy on her. And she never even responded! I'm talking to two other girls though. Not as attractive and their profiles aren't as good but they're that "notch lower".

Ah, if I never responded. It might have been more like 4 or 5 views...I can't remember...But makes sense.

I appreciate the way you logically laid it out beat for beat. Really helped, very useful. Yet another affirmation that it's a numbers game.

Time to get back out there
NJB

 

[NotJamesBond]

Hey leadersuleyman,

I was more giving Seppuku a pat on the back than anything. He doesn't mentor me on a daily basis, he's just always replying to my threads.

To actually answer your question though, I'd imagine hanging out in the forums might attract an internet mentor. I really don't have a good answer, though. Anyone whose a mentor want to weigh in?

 

[Michal]

Hi,

Dunno whether it can be accounted but sometimes I tune on simply the emotions that I feel and when I read your opener it wnt like this:
- beach, feel relaxed and a bit warm
- who does not? Out of relaxed feeling
- ever surf? Once and it was cold so feel cold now (*depends on person)
- I just wanted to ... "was" feel like "ok, so this is solved"
- PS land the job - misunderstood (because I dont want a job in Hollywood *depends on person)
- zombie movie - slightly disgusted and metal taste in my mouth
- your man - confused
So at the end I was left with slight disconnection, 10% confusion and 40% of "ok, I read this, now lets find something else"

This is just how view it but it felt a little tiring too just to read it, seems quite long. But the biggest thing that changed my view on the message (if I were to reply to that) was that "I just wanted to say" part. Because at that point, it was like "oh, the reason he types this is that he just wanted to say [insert whatever]". And at that point, I would need to be convinced by your profile pictures I guess.

Its just my view on this, I might be off, who knows, just a food for thought.

 

[NotJamesBond]

Michael,

Your feedback helped a lot, much appreciated. I used the "nice to 'meet' you" on another girl and it worked fine (eventually got her number actually). Like you said, a lot of this depends on the person. I'll try and not be so wordy moving forward because I think it's starting to wear even on the current girl who seems into me otherwise.

Oh, and she said she wanted a job in Hollywood which is why I said that. Very good points though.

Don't pine,
NJB

 

[Michal]

Michael,

Your feedback helped a lot, much appreciated. I used the "nice to 'meet' you" on another girl and it worked fine (eventually got her number actually). Like you said, a lot of this depends on the person. I'll try and not be so wordy moving forward because I think it's starting to wear even on the current girl who seems into me otherwise.

Oh, and she said she wanted a job in Hollywood which is why I said that. Very good points though.

Don't pine,
NJB

Yea, online is quite random in this regard. She just might have been really busy the week you messaged her and because she does not visit the site that often, other dudes flooded her inbox. But generaly I would say it still depends on your pictures.