Messaged a Girl Over Facebook- Take On This?

[NotJamesBond]

Hey headhunters,

Real quick: I messaged a girl over facebook, she received it well and sent me a wall of text.

However, I took over a day to get back to that one. She messaged me Friday, I didn't get back until Sunday late morning because I wasn't on the computer all day Saturday (went to another state for a concert, don't have it on mobile).

She has yet to respond to my response, despite FaceBook saying she "saw" it about an hour after I sent it.

I ran this by a female friend and she said me not responding for a day is a little long (maybe because it's facebook?).

So I sent a quick follow-up explaining why it took me some extra time.

The only things I can think of are:

1. My response was super long, but so was her first response. Mine wasn't too much longer than hers. Still, maybe she saw it and thought:

A) Wow this is long! No thanks...
B) Wow this is long! I'll get to it later (and she still hasn't gotten to it which would be understandable since it's exactly what I did)

2. She is mirroring how long I took to respond to her. My female friend said she herself does this.

3. She was actually put off by how long I took to respond and hasn't yet/doesn't intend to.

It all leads back to either she saw it and got fatigued, was insulted (really don't think so) or saw it and is getting to it later.
Or she hasn't seen it and FaceBook lied. Possible.

Just wanted to hear your takes on this, thanks.

-NJB

 

[Bboy100]

Either you sent her into autorejection cause you took so long to reply the first time, or she's mirroring how long it took you to reply (your female friend is right. Girls do this a lot). Either way, there's nothing for you to do except wait. If she doesn't reply, then just move on.

 

[NotJamesBond]

Ah shit, is that really a long time? We were treating it like emails, I didn't think a day was that long. Lol well shit.

I sent a follow-up explaining. We'll see what happens.

And of course there's the mirror (sometimes plus extra time). Cool, glad to get confirmation. We'll see. I was overconfident that she replied with a wall of text so I figured it was all gucci if I wait a day. Definitely not doing that again...

Thanks for the feedback.
And now we wait.

 

[NotJamesBond]

One last thing-

For future reference, how would you properly handle an autorejection like this? I think it is that.

I just mentioned how I had a concert and was in Milwaukee all day Saturday, but Chase's guide says don't blame the situation. Would I just add a "You seem like a person worth getting to know " after explaining the situation? I also don't have facebook on my phone, which I failed to mention, and I wasn't on my computer all day. But that sounds like it's over-explaining it with the phone bit

 

[Bboy100]

I was overconfident that she replied with a wall of text so I figured it was all gucci if I wait a day.

Actually, this is exactly the reason why its NOT ok. If it was a short message, then it wouldn't have been a big deal to wait a while. But by sending you a giant ass message which was probably relatively substantive, she's showing a lot of interest. As such, you have to reciprocate. Otherwise, she'll feel like you don't really care.

To illustrate this better imagine:

Scenario 1-
We're texting back and forth.
You: Sup
[One day later]
Me: Hey, how are you?

Scenario 2-
We're texting back and forth.
You: Hey bboy, I just had a really great day! I did xyz and went to abc place etc etc. <----this is a long, detailed text.
[One day later]
Me: Oh, nice!

Notice how in scenario one, its not really a big deal that I took a full day to respond. Cause you didn't give me much to work with in the first place. Whereas in the second scenario, by taking a full day, it kinda looks like I just don't care about anything that you just said. In fact, it would be reasonable to say that I'm blowing you off(granted, the short reply of just "oh nice" is straight up rude. But even despite that, my point stands). Now obviously, since we're both dudes, its not as big a deal. But if this was romantic context, you would probably begin to doubt how interested I am in you altogether.

For future reference, how would you properly handle an autorejection like this? I think it is that.

Ideally, you would want to handle any damage to value or to attainability in person. Text can easily be misinterpreted. But in this case, it was pretty straightforward. So yeah, what you did was pretty much the best you could have done. If she doesn't reply, maybe you can ping her again in a few weeks. But don't expect anything to happen.

 

[NotJamesBond]

Ohh of course!!

Her reply to me wasn't right away though. It was later that day or night or so. Maybe the next day. Still...Damn. yeah I'll ping her again.

Hey it's all a learning process. She's fine too but its funny because a year ago Id be kicking myself HARD that I messed up with this gorgeous girl (she's legitimately 10/10) but now I'm confident in my attainability that another interesting, beautiful, religious (lol) girl will come along no problem. I've come far. Feels good. Couldn't have done it without you guys. On to the next one...

NJB