Met a girl on the bus and got her art IG, where to go from there?

[tue]

I just did my first cold approach. A cute girl sat next to me on the bus, she had her earphones on. I wasn't going to open but later on I noticed a drawing of an anime character in the back of her phone. I tapped the drawing lightly, she took off her earphones off and I asked her if it's that [character's name], she said yes then I told her that the hair color is different, then she said that she liked that better or something. I asked her if she draw that and she said yes, then I asked if she had a IG account where she posts her art. She asked if I mean where she posts her art like she didn't hear me, or maybe she was a bit nervous. I thought about saying "..or your personal one " or something of the sort but I figured it'll be asking too much too soon?
I got her art IG account. I'm not on social media anymore, I just have a IG account that I check once in a blue moon with like 7 followers and no photos. I put a profile picture so that she knows me, and I'm thinking how should I go from here. Questions:
- Her account has +2.5k followers and she sells her art, so I guess she's receiving alot of DMs, how can I differentiate myself?
- How can I transition from "I like your art" to "Let's meet" (I shouldn't show my interest now right? But why else would I want to meet her?).
- We both got off at the same bus stop, she goes to a uni 15 min away from my house by foot. Would meeting her there be a good idea?

I didn't do a cold approach yet on the street because as soon as I see a girl and decide to approach, my mind get flooded with thoughts and I choose not to because I believe that I won't be able to think clearly with all that overthinking and that I'll look nervous. For this one the same thing happened but it was logistically better? (she's sitting next to me), and I just finished listening to an article about the winner effect and I wanted to kick start my winning streak. ( normally I can't talk myself into action logically, so I suspect that it was an emotional decision but I'm still not sure what caused it)

 

[Tim Iron]

Nice one... however, I strongly feel that you should have asked for her phone number. In my opinion a phone number is a little more concrete than an IG account. If I were in your position, I would send her a DM (intro and a little chat about what you guys previously discussed) and try to get her phone number because I hardly use Instagram (I have just a profile picture and nothing else).

If you have her phone number, you could call and arrange to meet. I typically make it sound very casual... sort of like: "hey I am usually around xyz street where we met, why don't we see at xxx time for maybe 5 - 10 minutes, I am quite busy then so I wouldn't be staying too long." or "hey, I am likely going to be passing by your neighbourhood at xxx time, we could always meet up and have a chit chat for 5 - 10 minutes".

I prefer to make it easier for her to meet up as quickly as possible (less than 3 days after meeting) and I usually move to a nearby place to have only soft-drinks with her, then try to get her to my place. You could always do whatever you are comfortable with or adjust accordingly.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@tue dude! Well done on your first approach, you used a good situational opener to get talking to her in a way that seemed natural and spontaneous and had the guts to ask for contact information. You took a very big first step and hopefully you'll learn a lot from this.

First thing, it isn't too early to ask for her number if you're having fun talking to each other. It's always best to ask on a high point, she's more likely to say yes and it makes sense to arrange a date/plans before getting the contact number, it makes logical sense to get the number if you've arranged to meet and it avoids wondering how to do this over text. It also clears up the ambiguity she knows this is a boy/girl thing and not anything else. It's also advised to ask a girl out in person, it's more bold and confident and they have to answer where they can ghost a text, though this is technically an answer :')

Don't worry about this with this set, we're working with what you've got dude!

For Instagram, did she follow you back? If she hasn't followed you back your message will go into a pending message inbox and not her main inbox. I imagine she'll frequently check this if she's selling her art work.

Social media or not, this is standard texting. Check out all the text guides on the forum and main site. The first message you want to send is an ice breaker message with more body like @Tayo suggested
"Hi NAME, it's Tue from the bus. It was cool meeting you today" - follow up with something you talked about and pick up the conversation where you left off. From here you aim to get a date arranged and then get a number, or you can do this in reverse as tayo suggested and get the number first. This used to be primarily recommended on online dating to get them off the app

 

[tue]

Nice one... however, I strongly feel that you should have asked for her phone number. In my opinion a phone number is a little more concrete than an IG account. If I were in your position, I would send her a DM (intro and a little chat about what you guys previously discussed) and try to get her phone number because I hardly use Instagram (I have just a profile picture and nothing else).

Thanks. Yes maybe I should of asked for her number instead, but IG was a more natural transition from what we were talking about (her making art, where she publish it). If a had more time I would of maybe figured out how to lead the conversation to asking for her number.
I'm aware that I lack the reference points so maybe I could of just went for a her number and it would have worked, next time I guess.

If you have her phone number, you could call and arrange to meet. I typically make it sound very casual... sort of like: "hey I am usually around xyz street where we met, why don't we see at xxx time for maybe 5 - 10 minutes, I am quite busy then so I wouldn't be staying too long." or "hey, I am likely going to be passing by your neighbourhood at xxx time, we could always meet up and have a chit chat for 5 - 10 minutes".

I prefer to make it easier for her to meet up as quickly as possible (less than 3 days after meeting) and I usually move to a nearby place to have only soft-drinks with her, then try to get her to my place. You could always do whatever you are comfortable with or adjust accordingly.

I'll keep that in mind when I get some numbers.

@tue dude! Well done on your first approach, you used a good situational opener to get talking to her in a way that seemed natural and spontaneous and had the guts to ask for contact information. You took a very big first step and hopefully you'll learn a lot from this.

Thanks man it means a lot coming from someone more experienced than I am. It surely feels like a big first step, approaching was out of the question for me until now. My sole focus now in to stick to it and not fall back to inaction, I'll take a good result when I can and the rest consider it to be practice and collect my reference points.

First thing, it isn't too early to ask for her number if you're having fun talking to each other. It's always best to ask on a high point, she's more likely to say yes and it makes sense to arrange a date/plans before getting the contact number, it makes logical sense to get the number if you've arranged to meet and it avoids wondering how to do this over text. It also clears up the ambiguity she knows this is a boy/girl thing and not anything else. It's also advised to ask a girl out in person, it's more bold and confident and they have to answer where they can ghost a text, though this is technically an answer :')

I also think that getting a number is superior, and I hardly use social media anymore. For this one is was more of a reaction/quick thinking to ask for IG, because I only went fuck it and opened her in the last 30s/1mn of the bus ride so I didn't get to say all that much.

For Instagram, did she follow you back? If she hasn't followed you back your message will go into a pending message inbox and not her main inbox. I imagine she'll frequently check this if she's selling her art work.

Social media or not, this is standard texting. Check out all the text guides on the forum and main site. The first message you want to send is an ice breaker message with more body like @Tayo suggested
"Hi NAME, it's Tue from the bus. It was cool meeting you today" - follow up with something you talked about and pick up the conversation where you left off. From here you aim to get a date arranged and then get a number, or you can do this in reverse as tayo suggested and get the number first. This used to be primarily recommended on online dating to get them off the app

I didn't now that, good to know. No she didn't. I followed her yesterday and sent her the drawing I saw on her phone and said that it's looks even better on her phone case, then I said that "we talked on the bus this morning, forgot to tell you my name, tue". She still didn't respond. Now that I think about it, I should of just walked with her so that we could keep talking and then suggest that we meet sometimes and ask for the number. I'll steer clear from social media from now on.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@tue dude! There's a bit of a caveat that she hasn't followed back, if she hasn't read the message this is cool but it looks like low interest, if she's read the message she can accept it which opens up communication with her main inbox or she can block you immediately without you ever knowing if she's read the message. If she had high interest she'd reply.

For your message instead of saying you forgot to tell her your name, just message her with it. "Hi NAME it's Tue from the bus" it immediately implies familiarity or that you gave her your name earlier and she's forgot, this is a socially calibrated way to basically introduce yourself.

I typically like to make them ask for my name when I meet them so they have to invest in the interaction and "earn" my name, though there's nothing wrong with introducing yourself and creating familiarity, it's another tactic to play about with it might suit you better or might be terrible for you.

Asking for her number would have been fine but the Instagram was there due to the conversation. To ask the number it's usually best with a qualifier "you seem cool, I'd like to chat more, I'll grab your number" - I haven't asked, I've implied she's already agreed to it though I'd have lead with a date, it's easier to do this in person "you seem cool, we should hang out sometime".

Read the articles for how to ask for numbers and get a yes every time and how to ask a girl out, it'll cover this much better. Walking with her a bit would have helped unless she's already sold on you.

You don't have to avoid social media completely, there's dudes on this forum that use it very well but be aware it's a female playground

 

[tue]

@tue dude! There's a bit of a caveat that she hasn't followed back, if she hasn't read the message this is cool but it looks like low interest, if she's read the message she can accept it which opens up communication with her main inbox or she can block you immediately without you ever knowing if she's read the message. If she had high interest she'd reply.

For your message instead of saying you forgot to tell her your name, just message her with it. "Hi NAME it's Tue from the bus" it immediately implies familiarity or that you gave her your name earlier and she's forgot, this is a socially calibrated way to basically introduce yourself.

Yeah I did what I thought best at that moment, what I'm happy about from this one is that my shortcomings are due to my lack of experience and that I need to brush up on the theory and not that I knew what to do and couldn't act on it which is the problem I'm working on currently to get rid of.
I rechecked her IG and her last post is 8w old, so maybe she's not that active. Or that it is low interest. Both cases are out of my hand, I'll focus for now on mustering the courage to go and cold approach on the street alone lol.
You're right I should of dropped the "forgot" part, I'll keep that in mind.

I typically like to make them ask for my name when I meet them so they have to invest in the interaction and "earn" my name, though there's nothing wrong with introducing yourself and creating familiarity, it's another tactic to play about with it might suit you better or might be terrible for you.

I'll try it next time.

Asking for her number would have been fine but the Instagram was there due to the conversation. To ask the number it's usually best with a qualifier "you seem cool, I'd like to chat more, I'll grab your number" - I haven't asked, I've implied she's already agreed to it though I'd have lead with a date, it's easier to do this in person "you seem cool, we should hang out sometime".

Read the articles for how to ask for numbers and get a yes every time and how to ask a girl out, it'll cover this much better. Walking with her a bit would have helped unless she's already sold on you.

I didn't say I want us to meet, and my fundamentals are not that tight so maybe she didn't even consider it to be a man to woman conversation, but this was a clumsy first try I'll read the articles and apply them the best I can next times.

You don't have to avoid social media completely, there's dudes on this forum that use it very well but be aware it's a female playground

The thing is I don't want to drag myself through the path of least resistance, I need to burn the ships at least for now so that I push myself to implement cold approaching in my life.

 

[Fuck This]

You can use IG to reconnect with her. Tell her "As you can see IG is not something I check often, or do much with. I don't even have Notifications. Best way to get me is #--------. " If she is the least bit interested she will text you or call at that number. If I 've had a connection with a woman, she has called. It's my first compliance test...

 

[tue]

You can use IG to reconnect with her. Tell her "As you can see IG is not something I check often, or do much with. I don't even have Notifications. Best way to get me is #--------. " If she is the least bit interested she will text you or call at that number. If I 've had a connection with a woman, she has called. It's my first compliance test...

This is a good idea also because I deleted the ig app from my phone, but I'm keeping the account for now. I'll try it.
It is possible that I'll go cold approach in the uni she's studying at as it's really close to where I live and I know some people there. I might run into her, or on the bus again as It's our daily commute. I'll go with something like "I remember you we talked briefly on the bus, your name is x right?" (it's in her ig handle). Then go from there I guess. I should avoid mentioning me messaging her, and she's not responding right?

 

[Fuck This]

Interested women WON'T make it hard to get in touch with them.

The idea is to have so many options for your time and energy that one will push her way to the front.

Low effort, low expectations.

 

[Skills]

I just did my first cold approach. A cute girl sat next to me on the bus, she had her earphones on. I wasn't going to open but later on I noticed a drawing of an anime character in the back of her phone. I tapped the drawing lightly, she took off her earphones off and I asked her if it's that [character's name], she said yes then I told her that the hair color is different, then she said that she liked that better or something. I asked her if she draw that and she said yes, then I asked if she had a IG account where she posts her art. She asked if I mean where she posts her art like she didn't hear me, or maybe she was a bit nervous. I thought about saying "..or your personal one " or something of the sort but I figured it'll be asking too much too soon?
I got her art IG account. I'm not on social media anymore, I just have a IG account that I check once in a blue moon with like 7 followers and no photos. I put a profile picture so that she knows me, and I'm thinking how should I go from here. Questions:
- Her account has +2.5k followers and she sells her art, so I guess she's receiving alot of DMs, how can I differentiate myself?
- How can I transition from "I like your art" to "Let's meet" (I shouldn't show my interest now right? But why else would I want to meet her?).
- We both got off at the same bus stop, she goes to a uni 15 min away from my house by foot. Would meeting her there be a good idea?

I didn't do a cold approach yet on the street because as soon as I see a girl and decide to approach, my mind get flooded with thoughts and I choose not to because I believe that I won't be able to think clearly with all that overthinking and that I'll look nervous. For this one the same thing happened but it was logistically better? (she's sitting next to me), and I just finished listening to an article about the winner effect and I wanted to kick start my winning streak. ( normally I can't talk myself into action logically, so I suspect that it was an emotional decision but I'm still not sure what caused it)

this was a great situational opener, which is what most of us in the forum recommend... However, you went for the exchange of social media too fast, this is not a solid interaction, and you cock blocking yourself at the close....... so what do we have:

- great opening
-great hook

then after that, everything weak, you did not flirt or get her to invest and cockblock yourself by asking for instagram.... here are some posts to help you out in the future:

Calls & Texts - Best way to get a phone number and Ice breaker first texts....

Ok guys, so i have been helping a lot of the guys, by me doing so i get to see what they do wrong and if the things that work for me consistently work for them, so after enough sampling I see were the problem are and how to improve odds which is the name of the game.... So most normal dudes...

www.skilledseducer.com

Online & Apps - Instagram Vs Reality, Why you should not put women on a pedestal part 2

This video is a follow up to my original video in which I described how women use high heels, make ups, push up bras etc... To go up couple of points in the looks scale at the clubs and why you should not be a fool and put them on a pedestal. I explained how women are taking pictures using...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[Skills]

Yeah I did what I thought best at that moment, what I'm happy about from this one is that my shortcomings are due to my lack of experience and that I need to brush up on the theory and not that I knew what to do and couldn't act on it which is the problem I'm working on currently to get rid of.
I rechecked her IG and her last post is 8w old, so maybe she's not that active. Or that it is low interest. Both cases are out of my hand, I'll focus for now on mustering the courage to go and cold approach on the street alone lol.
You're right I should of dropped the "forgot" part, I'll keep that in mind.


I'll try it next time.


I didn't say I want us to meet, and my fundamentals are not that tight so maybe she didn't even consider it to be a man to woman conversation, but this was a clumsy first try I'll read the articles and apply them the best I can next times.



The thing is I don't want to drag myself through the path of least resistance, I need to burn the ships at least for now so that I push myself to implement cold approaching in my life.

Is good that you got to experience this cause you will see what does not work, this ig specially you having a low value one with no pics is you cockblocking yourself... You probably got nervous being your first cold approach and went for a ig fast, this is good cause is a small success, but you need to start staying in set and flirt more, screen for availability.... "does your boyfriend enjoys your art?" if she says "i don't have a boyfriend" she is interested, and you could have close with a soft close, would love to see more of that art maybe you can show me or teach or something like that.... The goal of flirting is to gauge reactions and interest and see were you are in the seduction..