What's new

MGTOW or Men Going Their Own Way

MisterX

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Feb 5, 2013
Messages
149
It's a very scary trend that will bear very bad consequences to the world.
I find it very interesting cause I love social studies and thinking what would happen and why it happened when it comes to human behaviour.

I know that this won't effect the seducers and guys like Chase and most of us here. But I believe it will have and interesting effect on the world and society as a whole.


I'll explain the idea and give my ideas as to why this is happening.


The idea

I had never heard about this but the last few days I noticed it a lot on YouTube and other blogs.
From what I understand MGTOW is a movement/belief system of men that says:

- you don't need a woman or relationship to be happy
- your worth as a man is not defined by how many women you've slept with or haven't slept with
- you don't need anyones approval to be a man
- also the complete rejection of marriage, it's suicide for a man since you have over 50% of divorce and you lose half your money, house, dignity and pay alimony.I haven't heard of much men who weren't devastated by a divorce. I even read the story about the Russian billionaire who had to pay 4.5 BILLION $ to his wife for the privilege to have been married to her(she wasn't even that attractive tbh).

Basically the idea is that you don't need women. You want women and have desires towards them but you don't need them.


Some have gone to the extreme to become ghosts, meaning complete rejection of women and sexuality. Not even looking at women and only masturbating.


The scary part is that those men completely fall off society. More and more men drop out of high school, never go to university, never find a job and live with their parens or collect unemployment. They have no ambition.

In Japan it's going very bad. There those men are calller herbivore men. The studies show that 25% of all men despise sex and women and would never have sex. Things are so bad that all predictions and expectations and experts say that Japans population (that is now 127 million people) will drop to 47-48 million people till the year 2100. Imagine what would happen to their economy when the workforce drops from 60 million employed in 2014 to 22 million (or less) till 2100.


Those men have realised that if they don't marry and don't have children, they don't need much money. They spend all day playing video games, watching TV, movies, anime, reading books, watching porn.


So what is happening that more and more men are losing interest in women whatever. I read lots of articles about men in universities in the US that are to scared to even look at a girl, because of fear of harassment or rape accusations. They say their career is more important than sex and being fired or expelled for trying to talk to a girl.



Why is this happening?


- men are raised to not be men in todays society. Everything that is manly is frowned upon in school(fighting and rough housing is considered bad), the workplace. Countries like Sweden even make it illegal to pee siting up. They remove urinals and force men to sit while peeing, because in the sweeds words "peeing sitting up is violent, degrading to women and promotes men to become rapists", They remove gender roles so they make boys wear pink dresses and play with Barbie dolls. There are no male role models for growing boys, that teach you that being a man means going for what you want in life and not giving up, be it sex with a girl or a great job.


- men are taught not to talk to women. The cases like Julien Blank that taught men how to talk to women was labeled rapist because he taught men to be confident. Another YouTube guy was named rapist and banned because he made a video where he pinched girl butts.. The YesMeanYes laws in the US make every man a rapist because how many times you've had sex where you had to ask the girl every 5 minutes if she wanted the sex to happen and continue happening.

- marriage equals suicide for man. You lose everything in a divorce: your house, your money, you pay alimony, you lose your kids.


- there is soo much stimulation that didn't exist for out fathers like: thousand of TV channels, millions of movies, video games, porn, internet so men can go without women and still be stimulated in a way.


I believe that guys like us even Chase and the others share a lot in common with those guys. As we don't need women, we want them but not need them. And I believe that a lot of the guys here are against getting married. Where we differ is that we don't reject women and sex like the guys in Japan.





The consequences

When men lose complete interest in women like the herbivore men in Japan and the MGTOW in the west, they lose ambition. Because if you admit it or not men want a high paying job to attract women, they strive to be a good provide. But once that has gone, those men stop studying and working. They stay home and play games and watch porn.

As much as we believe in equal rights, a male and female brain is different. A big difference is that men's brains are wired to be risk takes (you needed to take constant risks to kill a bear and bring meat back to the cave) and women are wired to stay away from risks (not getting killed and gathering berries).
This is why women are good at managerial positions. But also why 99% of companies are started by men and 98% of inventions were made by men. There are very few companies and products started by women (mostly cosmetics and clothing). Everything else like electricity, the internet, cars, planes, computers, phones was created by men.

So it is dangerous when men stop striving for success and stop innovating. Yes there still will be men who do those things for now. But this movement continues growing and more and more men drop off from society every year.

One other thing is that men are the workhorses - they work in the labour intensive jobs in the mines, in the petrol stations, in construction,sewer creaning, police and military, every job that requires strength and is risky. I wonder who will work those jobs when in 20-30 the current workers retire and the men who are left are all playing with Barbie dolls and talk about "their feelings".


Even Stephen Hawking has said that it isn't very likely for humanity to survive more than a few hundred years if we even reach the year 2100.





I honestly see this movement growing very big in 2015 and 2016. I also believe that this will keep growing faster with every year. Since there are hundreds of million of men who can't get a girl, who are frustrated by it and a lot of them even hate women.


What do you think on the subject?


- X
 

topcat

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
914
Lol if this does happen.... More thirsty bitches for me. Bring it on!
 

ray_zorse

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Aug 12, 2014
Messages
1,982
If a dude stays home masturbating to porn all day then I don't think he has lost interest in women as such, it is more of an attainability issue... he may well go for lowest common denominator, find he cannot get it up etc... I think men do have an inbuilt sex drive even if it is numbed by porn so I can't really see the species dying out altogether, but the problem is the power shift over to the female which completely distorts things. They already had the power to choose, now they have the power to throw you in jail for approaching, to take you for a ride and get hold of your money and income etc... so your post is correct in that respect. BTW I'm guessing you're in Japan MrX? I enjoy reading your posts. Keep it up :)
-Ray
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

MisterX

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Feb 5, 2013
Messages
149
ray_zorse said:
If a dude stays home masturbating to porn all day then I don't think he has lost interest in women as such, it is more of an attainability issue... he may well go for lowest common denominator, find he cannot get it up etc... I think men do have an inbuilt sex drive even if it is numbed by porn so I can't really see the species dying out altogether, but the problem is the power shift over to the female which completely distorts things. They already had the power to choose, now they have the power to throw you in jail for approaching, to take you for a ride and get hold of your money and income etc... so your post is correct in that respect. BTW I'm guessing you're in Japan MrX? I enjoy reading your posts. Keep it up :)
-Ray


Nope, Eastern Europe I just read a lot about the situation in Japan cause I find it very interesting.
 

Man-O

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 16, 2014
Messages
182
topcat said:
Lol if this does happen.... More thirsty bitches for me. Bring it on!
-> My thought too :D

Japan is a weird county. They work tons loads and hardly chill like we do in west. They don't care much about democracy either even though they're among the most modern countries in the world when it comes to education, science and productivity etc.. I think it was a bit over 50% of Japan's population who actually voted.

The movement in the western countries I suppose are from weak men who've been too much in front of a pc whole their life. I too was about to become depraved in front of one, not that I'd join a movement like that though ^^
 

Drck

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 14, 2013
Messages
1,488
IMO it is quite a complex issue. There are huge shifts in society - easy accessible technology (internet/porn), women have much more freedom and independence (don't really need men), equality nonsense (namely in eg. army, navy,...), knowledge including seduction/PUA is increasing, men are getting more obese and physically weaker (easy lifestyle, low testosterone, low "manhood"), society became overprotective of individuals (you can easily get shelter and food, thus you no longer have to fight for survival), women have overall couple extra pounds thus are less attractive, and so on. Perhaps generation of your parents was getting married around early 20's, there was more religion at that time... Today people are more mature, marriage shifted to 30's and religion is no longer such a big issue...

Compare it to 20, 50 or 100 years ago, there is simply a huge shift in society. Your father/grandfather at your age had probably just several black and whilte photos of naked women. You, at the same age, can go online and with couple of click you can see thousands of porn movies anytime you want...

IMO, once you start reading more about PUA, Alpha/Beta males, Seduction, MGTOW, Red Pill and so on, your view at this world will fundamentally change. You will gain more understanding of dynamic between man and woman. You will become more independent, you will stop putting women on pedestal, you will no longer want to be a provider, you will see that men in general became weak and that the whole society overprotects women, and so on. As you get more mature, you will also develop different philosophy of your personal life, and it is quite possible that women will cease to be #1, maybe not because of seduction/PUA/MGTOW, but for other reasons...

I've been around this 'stuff' perhaps for 5-6 years even before I've discovered GC, and I can tell you that I am totally different person than I used to be. I can speak only for myself, but in my view MGTOW (Red Pill,...) have good point, and I see it everyday and wherever I look around... So the more I know the more I am in agreement with MGTOW, Red Pill and so on.

Either way, once you become more familiar with the overall material, you will find out that GC is not that much different. On a surface yes, it is different and more elaborated style, more fluent and smooth = but the essence is the same, the roots are the same. There is for example material online that was written in early 90's by anonymous guy(s) that is not that different from GC at all, it is just much simpler. It is just a blog "thrown out there" by who knows who...

You will also see that there is lots of classical "Betas" out there, so I don't think it is really a scary trend. Most guys won't go deeper into those things, they will learn some seduction, they will find some decent looking girl and eventually wil end up being in long term relationshiop, living happily their lives... Nature always keeps its own equilibrium, anyways, so whatever will be will be...
 

Drck

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 14, 2013
Messages
1,488
Just think about it from the point of view of relationships. Say there is a senior guy who got laid 300 times with 300 different girls. Or 500 times with 500 different girls, whatever the number is.

Do you know that to get laid 300 times with 300 different girls, assuming that you get laid every single week on average with one different girl, takes you almost 6 years of continuous success? That is just a simple math. You can't even possibly remember all those girls names after those years. You would have to be really good, really quite skilled to get laid with that many quality girls, and you would have to spent quite significant time to get laid every weekend like that, because the reality is, that most quality girls will not sleep with you on the first date (of course we can debate what does it actually mean "quality", but whatever). If you have a life and full time job, and I hope you do, you can't possibly even have so much time for that many girls, unless it has become some sort of obsession for you...

So if you want really quality and great connection, you just have to decrease this number multiple fold, and increase the time spent with each girl multiple fold.

True romantic involvement is just impossible with large number of lays, those are simply quick lays with "good times" involved, but there can't really be much depth as true depth arises from time and quality only...
 

MisterX

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Feb 5, 2013
Messages
149
Drck said:
Just think about it from the point of view of relationships. Say there is a senior guy who got laid 300 times with 300 different girls. Or 500 times with 500 different girls, whatever the number is.

Do you know that to get laid 300 times with 300 different girls, assuming that you get laid every single week on average with one different girl, takes you almost 6 years of continuous success? That is just a simple math. You can't even possibly remember all those girls names after those years. You would have to be really good, really quite skilled to get laid with that many quality girls, and you would have to spent quite significant time to get laid every weekend like that, because the reality is, that most quality girls will not sleep with you on the first date (of course we can debate what does it actually mean "quality", but whatever). If you have a life and full time job, and I hope you do, you can't possibly even have so much time for that many girls, unless it has become some sort of obsession for you...

So if you want really quality and great connection, you just have to decrease this number multiple fold, and increase the time spent with each girl multiple fold.

True romantic involvement is just impossible with large number of lays, those are simply quick lays with "good times" involved, but there can't really be much depth as true depth arises from time and quality only...



I like the model celebrities like Leonardo Dicaprio and George Clooney and countless others use. Basically date a very attractive younger woman for 1-2 years and after that excitement and honey moon period is gone start dating another woman for 1-2 years. This gives you a relationship that has the benefits of emotional connection and caring and stuff like that, with all the attraction in the beginning. But then when you get bored you move to the next one. This will work for me, cause I am incapable or real love. For the past few years I might get a very big crush on a girl and then if things don't work out I've completely forgotten her after 1-2 weeks and I'm off to the next girl I have a big crush on. I've realised that since she is incapable of loving me, caring about me or even understanding me, that I shouldn't look at women as more than a sex doll, that is emotionless and basically has no feelings. Some men aren't like that but after things don't work out I lose all feelings that I've had.

And I don't believe that a relationship can work for more than a month or two.

I don't believe that women have the capacity to love a man. It's in the beginning the initial lust that she feels for you and when she gets used to it after a couple of months she just wants another stimulant - another man. In the past women were forced to stay with their man by marriage and society but now there are no such things. It might sound bitter or hateful but It's not and I'm not hateful towards women. It's just the way women are - they don't have the capacity to care and love, and I understand that and don't really mind it at this stage. I recently turned 22 but I've seen enough things that have showed me just how emotionally detached they really are from love and such things.



- X
 

Franco

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 14, 2012
Messages
3,637
MisterX,

I don't believe that women have the capacity to love a man. It's in the beginning the initial lust that she feels for you and when she gets used to it after a couple of months she just wants another stimulant - another man. In the past women were forced to stay with their man by marriage and society but now there are no such things. It might sound bitter or hateful but It's not and I'm not hateful towards women. It's just the way women are - they don't have the capacity to care and love, and I understand that and don't really mind it at this stage. I recently turned 22 but I've seen enough things that have showed me just how emotionally detached they really are from love and such things.

This is a bit naive to say, MisterX, and it's not really the case at all. Maybe your personal experiences so far have led you to this conclusion, but this also tells me there's something you're not doing with these women to MAKE them fall in love with you. Sex is indeed the first step to making that happen, but there's still much more that is entailed to making a woman want to be with you for a long period of time. Remember, love is just the feeling of being out of control, so in order to keep a woman madly in love with you, she has to feel like she doesn't have control over you.

This relationship skill of making a girl feel out of control (yet secure enough to want to keep seeing you) is an extremely delicate balance that takes time and practice to develop. You can be "hotshot extraordinaire seducer" who has slept with over 1,000 women, and yet you may have not a clue how to keep women chasing you for as long as you want them to. Seducing women and then retaining women are two entirely different skills, and it sounds like you might have a great grasp on the first one, but you probably need to work on the latter.

Chase has plenty of relationship advice on this website that is excellent if you just take the time to read it and do the digging, but you'll also need the personal experience yourself to understand how you can make a girl fall in love with you and STAY with you.

The current girl that I'm dating has been seeing me for over 18 months now, and I get the feeling that she's even more attached to me now than she was when we first met -- and part of that has to do with the way I've been managing the relationship to keep those feelings of desire on her end very high. If I were to try to generalize what I do for the most part, I would have to say it's a combination of being non-needy and slightly aloof when we're not together (i.e. not really calling her or texting her much unless I have a good reason to, or if she does it first) and then being very affectionate, warm, and, of course, sexy when we ARE together in person -- which includes lots of laughing, caressing, and kissing (and of course, sex). What this does is it creates this void in her mind where she knows she LOVES every minute she spends with you, but she also finds it somewhat difficult to spend as much as with you as she'd like to. So she's constantly thinking about the moments she does spend with you and trying to figure out how she can get MORE of that (while you're job is to keep giving her those amazing small experiences while finding ways to prevent her from getting TOO MUCH of that -- which makes her feel "out of control" in a way).

Anyway, whether or not you want to keep women around for more than a year or so is entirely up to you (and you may not want to, even if you know how to make them fall in love, which is fine), but be careful when you're making blanket statements saying that "women cannot be in love with a man for more than X amount of time" when that is entirely not the case. For the most part, I'd say most men do not know how to keep a woman loving them for extended periods of time (which is understandable because it does require a good deal of effort on the man's part to maintain his composure and keep her chasing for years and years). And this is probably why you've witnessed so much dissonance when it comes to relationships and their ability to last.

Just make sure that, when you think about it, you don't say, "it's not possible." Instead, you say, "I just haven't figured out how to do it, yet." =)

- Franco
 

MisterX

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Feb 5, 2013
Messages
149
Franco said:
The current girl that I'm dating has been seeing me for over 18 months now, and I get the feeling that she's even more attached to me now than she was when we first met -- and part of that has to do with the way I've been managing the relationship to keep those feelings of desire on her end very high. If I were to try to generalize what I do for the most part, I would have to say it's a combination of being non-needy and slightly aloof when we're not together (i.e. not really calling her or texting her much unless I have a good reason to, or if she does it first) and then being very affectionate, warm, and, of course, sexy when we ARE together in person -- which includes lots of laughing, caressing, and kissing (and of course, sex). What this does is it creates this void in her mind where she knows she LOVES every minute she spends with you, but she also finds it somewhat difficult to spend as much as with you as she'd like to. So she's constantly thinking about the moments she does spend with you and trying to figure out how she can get MORE of that (while you're job is to keep giving her those amazing small experiences while finding ways to prevent her from getting TOO MUCH of that -- which makes her feel "out of control" in a way).


- Franco

Franco, It's always interesting to read what you think on a topic.

You might be right, but it's my experience and here is my experience with women. Bare in mind we live in different countries and I doubt you're dating 18-20 year old girls.


Here is an example of a girl I was dating a few months ago. We were having regular sex for a month a she started talking how much she liked and how we should be together. And I told her that's not true. She got upset and said how much we were meant to be, ho she likes me for who I was, how good we fit together and other BS like that. I got a bit pissed and said to her "We're so perfect together and you like me for who I am? Okay if you know me enough tell me one thing. Tell me one of my favourite bands, or song, or one of my favourite movies, at least what genre of movies I like? Name just one of my favourite foods, countries I wan to visit. Whats one of my hobbies, a sport I like? Maybe one of my ambitions or dreams? A book I like or a favourite author. Tell me one thing you know about me except my name and where I live??".

It pissed me off cause she was proclaiming how she liked me and didn't ever ask me a single thing about myself. She didn't even make an attempt to get to know me and who I am. I felt that to her I was simply a realistic dildo that is better in bed than a solo session with a vibrator.

As for the aloofness when not together - that's what I do with every girl. I don't spend time texting and chatting. I prefer face to face.


And sorry but I'm not a guy that will go dropping hints for her to show some interest and ask me something. And I'm not going to start talking about myself when a girl doesn't care to even ask.

This has been happening with a lot of girls. And usually around the 3-4 week after we starter seeing each other I drop her and cut contact. I don't see a point in continuing or even starting a relationship if she is like that the first 3-4 weeks. Cause I imagine that after the honey moon period is over after the first 2-3 months, then things star getting worse as the initial infatuation is gone and feelings start evaporating. I see it that the first month of dating shows how the entire relationship would go, and shows what a girl is made of.


This has been happening to a lot of friends of mine. It's like girls have gotten very selfish. I mean it's like the only take and take without providing anything but sex (which is more enjoyable for a woman anyway). I hear stories about guys who's girls made them dinner or gave them present, or did things like this. But from all I hear from all kinds of guys who are dating this is not a case. It's like if you are drowning and she has a life raft she will just watch you drown. Even just small stuff like I guy wrote on a forum how his american GF was at the supermarket and bought him a candy bad that he really loved and It blew my mind. Something so small made my jaw drop that a girl he was dating would do something like that.

One of my close friends (god have mercy on his soul) started dating a girl who literally made him walk on the opposite side of the road so people won't see them together. Makes him take her to all expenses paid vacations to Paris, Tokyo, Rome, London for her birthday but won't even spring for a present for his birthday. And he's not rich, he started dating her 3 years ago when he was 19 so all that money came from his personal savings, all of which went for her. A we were out a few weeks ago and she mentioned that she wanted him to find a good job, because she had no intention of working so he had to marry her and provide for her. And he said what If I don't provide for you not to work and she said then I'll just say you raped me and beat me and will get all your money in a divorce and you'll pay alimony forever. She even mentioned that her mother has close friends that were doctors and lawyers so they would help her frame him.. And for some reason he never listened to anyone and dump her (even though every single of our friends hates her). I honestly decided it's his life and if he wants to throw it away then it's his problem.


And I refuse to do "nice things" when it's not reciprocated, so I've never paid for a date, cooked for a girl, given flowers, done any sort of romantic date. I don't see a point in doing those things when there is nothing in it for me.


And I follow the advice on making her feel out of control. But it's like they fall for you (maybe?) and do absolutely nothing do reciprocate or show that she cares. Like "I like/love you but I won't do anything for you and will just expect you to do everything for me." I even read an interesting article that says that girls nowadays have no game and do nothing in dating. And sorry but dating and relationships are give and take, 50-50 if possible. I'm giving so little to a girl (conversations that are me deep diving her, lots of sex, and spending time doing something). I don't see them more than 2-3 times a week and never pay for anything. But still somehow I still do 250% more.


I don't feel bitter about it anymore. I mean I guess it's a cultural thing or a new era thing. But it pisses me off when a girl says she likes me or loves me when she never did anything to even hint at it, doesn't even care enough to get to know me. If she did care even a bit she would do something about it.

Not sure if you've experienced something like that but it's growing in occurrences. I've hear that girls in East Asia are better and more loving/carrying.


- X
 

Drck

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 14, 2013
Messages
1,488
Yea, now I'm quite confused MisterX, because you are actually talking about things that are being described in MGTOW, Red Pill, ROK,...

Lots of girls these are entitled, they just expect guys to suck up to them. Guys are chasing these girls, they buy stuff for them, girls have free ride wherever they go... so why would she "invest" one guy - if 10 other guys are giving her free ride? She is not stupid. It is a sickness in society. Many guys became child-men, needy and clingy, spineless, too emotional, too compliant to girl's nonsense needs... The 'manhood', never mind how gross it sounds, simply disappeared. I don't see it as a fault of girls; this is guy's fault. We became weak and as a result everybody suffers, guys and girls suffer. Guys can't get laid and girls can't find any real "man"...

As far as I am concerned, girls should be seducing guys. Guys don't really need to get married, guys don't need to settle down, guys don't need anyone to support them financially or emotionally. It is girls/women who need all this stuff - and they should work hard to get it, they should earn the marriage and they should keep working hard to keep it. They should be pleasing men, they should be doing stuff for men just so they can keep the man around... Women should be Givers and not Takers.... Yet it is totally backwards, in this society everything is backwards...
 

Franco

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 14, 2012
Messages
3,637
MisterX,

All of that sounds to me mostly like a bunch of guys who just don't have it figured it out, really. Which, like I mentioned, is probably the majority of men these days -- and it's not even entirely their fault. The way men are raised these days with all of these social stigmas flinged in their faces with Facebook and easy-to-access reading of what women claim they "want" (when the source of the problem lies in the fact that women don't really KNOW what they want, which is an important point I'll get into here in a second). So men keep falling into all of these traps of hearing one thing but experiencing another, so they believe that women are succubus' from hell or something. It's reasonable to see why people would want to think that way based on what basic knowledge goes around, but it's not a healthy mindset (and I don't think it's what guys really WANT to believe, either).

I know you gave several examples, but let's look explicitly at your example (since it's the one you personally experienced):

Here is an example of a girl I was dating a few months ago. We were having regular sex for a month a she started talking how much she liked and how we should be together. And I told her that's not true. She got upset and said how much we were meant to be, ho she likes me for who I was, how good we fit together and other BS like that. I got a bit pissed and said to her "We're so perfect together and you like me for who I am? Okay if you know me enough tell me one thing. Tell me one of my favourite bands, or song, or one of my favourite movies, at least what genre of movies I like? Name just one of my favourite foods, countries I wan to visit. Whats one of my hobbies, a sport I like? Maybe one of my ambitions or dreams? A book I like or a favourite author. Tell me one thing you know about me except my name and where I live??".

This sounds to me like you misinterpreting a girls feelings and emotions for you as something not logical, which is actually true. Her emotions for you aren't logical (i.e. I know you enjoy these things, and that makes me happy because I can appreciate those things too). When you're in the first month of seeing a girl, all she really knows is the "emotion" she feels for you. During this period, it's about the sex and the warmth, and it's more of a period for her of seeing what kind of man you are -- in order to do that, she needs to feel like she can tell YOU things and see how you respond to them. If you're responding well, then she can start to see what type of man you are, and then her next concern isn't about WHAT you do or WHAT you like (because she already knows it won't matter to her -- she likes you already) but as to whether or not YOU want her.

This creates all sorts of concerns, and most of those concerns revolve around her not being too needy or nosy or anything of that nature. If she's an attractive, high quality girl, then it's safe to say she's had her fair share of powerful men in the bedroom. And with most of those men (who legitimately don't see her as more than a sex toy most of the time), she's learned that "probing" them for information too fast and too soon is what seems to push them away. So personal experience has told her, "give him sex, stay warm, and don't push for information if I want to keep him." So when you suddenly start getting upset with her and asking her "what do you know about me? You know nothing..." all you're doing is confusing her based on what past experiences have shown her. No high-value man has ever really cared about her knowing about what it is that he does, so she's taught herself not to ask.

Is that necessarily a bad thing? Only if you make it a bad thing. What you'll find out about girls is that, the more they settle in to a comfortable relationship with you where they can trust you as a possible long-term partner, the more they want to know about you. My girl knows plenty about me these days, and she often asks a lot (and actually, I don't really like talking too much about what I do to be honest -- I find it boring to talk about my work, which is something I do and talk about 8 hours a day, and would rather hear about what she's doing instead). If she takes a genuine interest in what I do, I think that's great, but I noticed it doesn't even really happen until you have an established relationship beyond sex with her. So it's something that you need to give her time to develop.

When you think about it, if you've only spent 3 or 4 weeks having sex with her, why would she feel the need to suddenly start asking you about all your passions? For all she knows, one week later you could toss her to the wayside and she's established all of these extra connections with you that suddenly get shattered. You have to be able to put yourself in a woman's shoes in order to understand her actions. If you have no concept of the way a woman feels or thinks, then everything she does is going to seem confusing or off-putting to you.

It's hard for a girl to really let herself be completely herself around you until she knows you're going to stick around. Until then, she needs to "play it safe" by not feeling like she's a burden to you (because the past has taught her that asking too many questions is a "burden" to powerful men) and instead just give you sex and warmth and laughter first.

My girlfriend buys me random gifts all the time now -- but she wasn't doing that 1 or 2 months into our relationship. Why would she do that when I might not even stick around? Or what if her buying me gifts turns me off and makes me run for the hills? These are all things women think about, and until you understand them, it's going to be a bit of a struggle understanding their actions. Women fear losing men they have deep emotional feelings for, and the "smarter" ones know that being less needy and forthcoming is actually a much more successful strategy to keeping these men around.

This is just something to consider when it comes to women and relationships.

- Franco
 
Top