Missed opportunity - is it too late?

[Fluxcapacitor]

@Zurb dude! Yeah you fucked up more :') it's cool it wasn't totally disastrous. Don't send the bummer text now though! It's way too late and you're double messaging when it isn't called for. This won't reframe your past mistake and will look like you're purposely resetting and will come across as needy.

You hard closed to early and suggested the weekend... I'm not sure what your restrictions are but typically don't propose dates on a weekend unless they suggest it. An open ended question of

we should grab a drink sometime and catch up, when are you free?

Reduces the chances of her being busy because she tells you what's good for her. Once you have her schedule then pick the place. This gives her a feeling that she's arranged it with you so it's an us thing. I haven't asked if she wants a drink, I've assumed that's guaranteed so I'm pushing the meet in a more socially savvy way than you putting the plans up front first. This also allows her to tell you she's busy this weekend but she's free Monday, it's more positive.

If she's not to inexperienced and had a high buying temperature she'd have suggested something else here. This doesn't mean it's a write off, you'll just need a little more persistence. This girl has low interest and if she's seeing a dude she likes she may not be that interested in you while she's getting her needs met elsewhere.

However being out for so long, this is a chance to practice. You've told her to tell you when she's free, so don't contact her for a while the ball is in her court for now. Ignore the rejection and go back again in a week or two if you don't hear from her. Reset your frame when doing so, do a casual checkin text, provide some value and touch base. Proceed to a soft close to test the waters dude.

 

[Zurb]

I have to say, thank you dude for all the tips, it does really help me!

We both work and have kid, so we're only free every 2 week-end, because of custody. So yeah next week-end is not possible for her or even me.

Alright, how do i be more persistant without being needy? Any article to suggest on GC?
You suggest to comeback in a week or two, how to do that smoothly?

I don't know how to reset frame actually, i need to learn about that.
What is a soft close btw?

Anyway thanks again, it mean a lot for me and i hope that one day i can give back and help people that was in my situation, just like you guys do !

 

[Toby2030]

Treat it as silence. You wait a couple days and send her something that do not require an answer but offer value.

 

[Zurb]

Treat it as silence. You wait a couple days and send her something that do not require an answer but offer value.

I'm gonna need an exemple of what doesn't require answer AND offer value

 

[Toby2030]

"I think I found my soulmate http://instagr.am/p/CF10E04j0Jo/ "
"Not sure if I fucked up, or it was for the better *Picture of burned food at one side and a takeaway pizza on the other side*"

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@Zurb dude! Both being preoccupied next weekend is great. It means you can message shortly after the weekend and come back smoothly. The examples above work but if it's not your style to send memes and you're more of a word's dude a standard check in text is cool (check out @DML dudes guide for reviving dead numbers, it'll be suitable here)

Hi name, hope you've had a great weekend. (Offer value or relate here) I done X this weekend - fun activity/place or relate with what you did with your kid and can ask what she's done etc. (Check out the GC text guides for examples, basically it's the text you'd send after the ice breaker but drop the schedule check for now. This is to check in with her, but you should still aim to ask within 5 texts)

This in itself is persistent without being needy because you're not bringing up the dead topic or being negative. You're projecting a fun vibe that you'd like to go out but you don't need her. Asking her out straight away here is needy, instead you get her to invest/comply first.

You come back smoothly by ignoring the rejection and just coming back with a better frame. The text examples will help do this.

A soft close is basically baiting a date or softly suggesting we should get drinks! And checking her response. If she ignores this she's not interested, if she replies and acknowledges the request proceed to set up/ ask her availability. On the forum read @Skills simple text guide.

(I'm on my phone so linking the suggested reads is a pain in the ass!)

I'm still paying back the advice and guidance I've had, and still getting. It's a great community dude!

 

[Zurb]

"I think I found my soulmate
"Not sure if I fucked up, or it was for the better *Picture of burned food at one side and a takeaway pizza on the other side*"

I see, basically a meme or something funny, love the idea and typically suit my style

@Zurb

You're right, it's great, and also with that time i have time to learn lot of stuff!
Taking note on GC text guides, i'm on it, also checking @Skills simple text guide.
Oh ok i see, i have a better idea how to persistent without being needy now.

Don't worry man, no need to link stuff i'll search for it, you're already helping me a lot with the direction!
Indeed it's a great community

Realistically my chance are pretty low with this girl, right? like 1% chance that she agree to set up a date?