A 20yo girl matched me on Bumble, messaged me straight away and within 1 hour we had set to meet 1hr later. I was very forward with the invitation to go for a drink, but then when I persevered through her initial "Not sure, I have to get up for work early tomorrow", she stole the initiative and suggested a meeting point. I agreed because it was 2 mins walk from the bar I was going to suggest anyway, but at the same time it put a little doubt in me if she was directly dtf or not because it didn't even give me the opportunity to suggest going directly to mine.
When we met, I realised she didn't speak any English at all, so I had to do my best in my limited local language skills. She was also hotter than her pics, very feminine and from a eastern european country but had spent the last 5 years in western Europe so wasn't the stereotypically 'cold' at all but based on her answers, she wasn't someone who makes it obvious if she is for 1ns or not. I also couldn't say any sexual gambits in the local language so I wasn't able to sexualise the convo much.
Here is where I struggled with:
She ordered wine, but then she hardly drank. This put me off my game quiet a bit. My plan was to finish 1st drink and invite her back to mine given the time restriction, but after about 1hr 20 mins, she had drank half her glass and I thought, I've probably screwed it by waiting for so long. The conversation was flowing well, but she was often playing with her glass from the start even though eye contact, concentration etc was solid from both of us. This is where I'm not sure if she was anxious or was that a sign of 'I don't want to drink anymore, lets get the f out of here'.
Anyway, at that point I said lets go for a walk, she agreed. I walked towards my apartment and when we were 2-3 mins away from it, asked her to grab another drink at mine, to which she responded with little hesitation that she had to wake up early. Probably I should have used the same excuse as before (just a quick drink) but combined with my language difficulties and realising my mistake of not pushing things fast as my initial plan was, I played it off and said I'll walk with her for a few more mins in her direction before going home. I should have had a better plausible deniability given she wasn't drinking much, but again, with limited language skills my brain works slow so I rather ask then not ask at all.
The ending wasn't awkward at all and I made up some reason to get her number at least (setting up date and needing to get ready quickly meant I completely forgot about numbers). I texted her an inside joke before we parted and forgot to ask her to text me when she gets home, but I was still thinking that if she was interested at all, she would text something which she hasn't. The only thing that gives me some hope, is that I unintentionally misstyped 2 of the numbers, and she corrected me straight away.
A couple of questions:
1) It seems pretty obvious that no matter what the real reason for her not drinking much, I should have at least pushed to change location but even better to respond to the fact she wasn't drinking with - "I'm not feeling like drinking more given we have to both wake up early tomorrow, lets do >plausible deniability<" that doesn't involve more alcohol back at mine. I assume this is okey to do even if we have hardly drank from our drinks?
2) I sometimes struggle with escalating kino with shy-er girls. She wasn't totally shy, but I started with social touch straight away and within 5-10mins I did a couple of quick thigh taps when doing a tease etc and she initially moved her leg back. I still did a lot of hand touches - asking about her rings, small caress of the neck asking about her necklace and she didn't mind at all, as well as a pretty long hand read which she loved. But it still didn't feel enough. There was some tension in the conversation due to the strong eye-contact, but I wasn't really sure how to escalate further.
3) I'm pretty sure this one is gone, but in case there is any chance of recovery - would you wait a few days without texting before initiating again? Normally I don't do the whole waiting game, but in this situation, I think that the only chance I have is if she gets intrigued as to why I didn't text her.
When we met, I realised she didn't speak any English at all, so I had to do my best in my limited local language skills. She was also hotter than her pics, very feminine and from a eastern european country but had spent the last 5 years in western Europe so wasn't the stereotypically 'cold' at all but based on her answers, she wasn't someone who makes it obvious if she is for 1ns or not. I also couldn't say any sexual gambits in the local language so I wasn't able to sexualise the convo much.
Here is where I struggled with:
She ordered wine, but then she hardly drank. This put me off my game quiet a bit. My plan was to finish 1st drink and invite her back to mine given the time restriction, but after about 1hr 20 mins, she had drank half her glass and I thought, I've probably screwed it by waiting for so long. The conversation was flowing well, but she was often playing with her glass from the start even though eye contact, concentration etc was solid from both of us. This is where I'm not sure if she was anxious or was that a sign of 'I don't want to drink anymore, lets get the f out of here'.
Anyway, at that point I said lets go for a walk, she agreed. I walked towards my apartment and when we were 2-3 mins away from it, asked her to grab another drink at mine, to which she responded with little hesitation that she had to wake up early. Probably I should have used the same excuse as before (just a quick drink) but combined with my language difficulties and realising my mistake of not pushing things fast as my initial plan was, I played it off and said I'll walk with her for a few more mins in her direction before going home. I should have had a better plausible deniability given she wasn't drinking much, but again, with limited language skills my brain works slow so I rather ask then not ask at all.
The ending wasn't awkward at all and I made up some reason to get her number at least (setting up date and needing to get ready quickly meant I completely forgot about numbers). I texted her an inside joke before we parted and forgot to ask her to text me when she gets home, but I was still thinking that if she was interested at all, she would text something which she hasn't. The only thing that gives me some hope, is that I unintentionally misstyped 2 of the numbers, and she corrected me straight away.
A couple of questions:
1) It seems pretty obvious that no matter what the real reason for her not drinking much, I should have at least pushed to change location but even better to respond to the fact she wasn't drinking with - "I'm not feeling like drinking more given we have to both wake up early tomorrow, lets do >plausible deniability<" that doesn't involve more alcohol back at mine. I assume this is okey to do even if we have hardly drank from our drinks?
2) I sometimes struggle with escalating kino with shy-er girls. She wasn't totally shy, but I started with social touch straight away and within 5-10mins I did a couple of quick thigh taps when doing a tease etc and she initially moved her leg back. I still did a lot of hand touches - asking about her rings, small caress of the neck asking about her necklace and she didn't mind at all, as well as a pretty long hand read which she loved. But it still didn't feel enough. There was some tension in the conversation due to the strong eye-contact, but I wasn't really sure how to escalate further.
3) I'm pretty sure this one is gone, but in case there is any chance of recovery - would you wait a few days without texting before initiating again? Normally I don't do the whole waiting game, but in this situation, I think that the only chance I have is if she gets intrigued as to why I didn't text her.
