Met this girl on Tinder, she's an adorable pharmacy student. Got invited to her place with her 3 roommates and their 3 friends. I tried to get friends to show, but the whole thing was short notice and it ended up just being me and 7 girls. We drank at her house for a couple hours and went to some bars. I handled it like a champion, didn't try to impress with value, offered thoughtful conversation, was completely at ease. I talked to the other girls and was very smooth. I made sure to spend a little extra time with the girl I was there to meet though - it went well, she was basically following me around. I should have closed that night, logistically it was tougher for her to be discreet with her situation but I could have made it happen (Missed escalation window).
The next evening she texts me "she's hungry" - so we have dinner. She's from the area, I'm new so it was a great sushi spot she knows. From there we went to a nice little bar that overlooks the beach again her pick and it was a lovely spot. Conversation was decent, got her talking about herself as much as possible. She's nervous or something though, not open. I can tell she is concerned what I think about her. She comments that I haven't complimented her all night...Which was true. I should have thrown out a compliment here and there, but at the very least she was definitely seeking my validation, she felt she had to work for it. I told her I figured she was used to hearing compliments from guys, and I only invite ravishingly beautiful women to dinner with me. We weren't going to connect any more unless we had sex or some kind of intimacy, particularly with her mindset. So I suggested we go back to her place, to which she bluntly refused and responded with an ultimatum.
I had the option of either I "drop her off at home, or we go to another bar". I was a bit taken back by this. To some degree I can appreciate the shrewdness here, as I'm painted into a corner and now look one-dimensional ("all he wanted was sex") or lose complete control. So of course I continue playing the game, we go to another bar.
From here she even starts talking a little dirty to me, though her dirty talk came out of nowhere and I wasn't expecting it at all. Yet she won't allow me to drink from her drink when mine was out. Then she behaves as if she wants me to kiss her in the bar (at least that's impression I got), giggling and telling me to look at a couple that is making out hot and heavy in the corner while looking into my eyes. I missed escalation windows here but I thought it was weird how she didn't want to go home, won't let me drink after her, but now is hinting at making out in the bar, among other mixed signals. She also mentions that she "has a friend like me, he slept with all my roommates", to which I chuckled, and she added "and he laughs about it". Clearly she was voicing an inner concern (thinly veiled) here, and I never even really addressed it. We walked back and I did put my arm around her for, initiating some contact (it was cold too). She then gets out of the car quickly at her house and says bye. I thought I would still take her to bed but casually said "bye" without any anger or outrage when she left...no other way to behave here, IMO. Thankfully I have been getting laid enough (thank you, Chase & Co.) that it only stings mildly that I didn't get to rock her world, but any insights into this behavior would be appreciated.
So here we have a girl that was clearly attracted to me, but was also labeling me as a "player"
She only gave me chances to escalate under sub-optimal circumstances, throwing off mixed signals.
"Replace 'em, don't chase 'em" in full effect, will try to set something up a little later with her but likely not fruitful.
The next evening she texts me "she's hungry" - so we have dinner. She's from the area, I'm new so it was a great sushi spot she knows. From there we went to a nice little bar that overlooks the beach again her pick and it was a lovely spot. Conversation was decent, got her talking about herself as much as possible. She's nervous or something though, not open. I can tell she is concerned what I think about her. She comments that I haven't complimented her all night...Which was true. I should have thrown out a compliment here and there, but at the very least she was definitely seeking my validation, she felt she had to work for it. I told her I figured she was used to hearing compliments from guys, and I only invite ravishingly beautiful women to dinner with me. We weren't going to connect any more unless we had sex or some kind of intimacy, particularly with her mindset. So I suggested we go back to her place, to which she bluntly refused and responded with an ultimatum.
I had the option of either I "drop her off at home, or we go to another bar". I was a bit taken back by this. To some degree I can appreciate the shrewdness here, as I'm painted into a corner and now look one-dimensional ("all he wanted was sex") or lose complete control. So of course I continue playing the game, we go to another bar.
From here she even starts talking a little dirty to me, though her dirty talk came out of nowhere and I wasn't expecting it at all. Yet she won't allow me to drink from her drink when mine was out. Then she behaves as if she wants me to kiss her in the bar (at least that's impression I got), giggling and telling me to look at a couple that is making out hot and heavy in the corner while looking into my eyes. I missed escalation windows here but I thought it was weird how she didn't want to go home, won't let me drink after her, but now is hinting at making out in the bar, among other mixed signals. She also mentions that she "has a friend like me, he slept with all my roommates", to which I chuckled, and she added "and he laughs about it". Clearly she was voicing an inner concern (thinly veiled) here, and I never even really addressed it. We walked back and I did put my arm around her for, initiating some contact (it was cold too). She then gets out of the car quickly at her house and says bye. I thought I would still take her to bed but casually said "bye" without any anger or outrage when she left...no other way to behave here, IMO. Thankfully I have been getting laid enough (thank you, Chase & Co.) that it only stings mildly that I didn't get to rock her world, but any insights into this behavior would be appreciated.
So here we have a girl that was clearly attracted to me, but was also labeling me as a "player"
She only gave me chances to escalate under sub-optimal circumstances, throwing off mixed signals.
"Replace 'em, don't chase 'em" in full effect, will try to set something up a little later with her but likely not fruitful.
