Move faster vs. Social intuition

[ulrich]

Hi everyone,

I know this is a topic that is going to open itself for plenty of debate but that is not exactly what I am looking for.
What I'm looking for is to set reasonable expectations.

Lately I have been dating many girls mostly from daygame and girls I meet through Facebook (no nightgame for me).
What I have found is that half of the girls are boring (LOL) but on the ones I like I can probably a get a kiss on the first date on 50% of them and take them to my apartment for sex with 25% of them.

Now, I know that we live and breath to the "move faster" mantra and that is my mentality.
But some girls I really like I can't get to the kiss in the first date... my social intuition tells me it feels forced so I get as far as I can with caressing her knees and arms and call it a day.
Of course here I am risking not getting a second date, I get that.

So my question is:
Should I keep listening to my intuition and hold off moves if it feels forced or should I kick it to the curb and force a kiss more often?

 

[ulrich]

By the way, a common sticking point for me is when I am with a girl in a restaurant booth and I start to slowly close the distance and the girls starts moving away.
This happens very slowly to the point that is almost imperceptible... until well, the girl is almost out of the table.

How to handle this?

 

[Grand Pooba]

Hi everyone,

I know this is a topic that is going to open itself for plenty of debate but that is not exactly what I am looking for.
What I'm looking for is to set reasonable expectations.

Lately I have been dating many girls mostly from daygame and girls I meet through Facebook (no nightgame for me).
What I have found is that half of the girls are boring (LOL) but on the ones I like I can probably a get a kiss on the first date on 50% of them and take them to my apartment for sex with 25% of them.

Now, I know that we live and breath to the "move faster" mantra and that is my mentality.
But some girls I really like I can't get to the kiss in the first date... my social intuition tells me it feels forced so I get as far as I can with caressing her knees and arms and call it a day.
Of course here I am risking not getting a second date, I get that.

So my question is:
Should I keep listening to my intuition and hold off moves if it feels forced or should I kick it to the curb and force a kiss more often?

Your actions with a woman should never feel forced - she should always be bought in, whether excitedly, or nervously. Often girls will just go along with a guy’s lead if he’s cool, to see what happens - but even at that point she’s bought in.

Sticking to a process is good for learning though - so you can learn to read all the signs and learn. At the end of the day though, you have to go at a girl’s pace - some will be super fast, others will be slower.

 

[Derek da man]

When sat with a girl you can generally tell if you can escalate to a kiss especially if you're already rubbing her knee or whatever. When you're sat next to her looking in her eyes with a slight smile from enjoying her company the conversation drops for a moment, just use your fingertips to touch the her jaw lightly and bring her head towards you. If she's thinking the same as you are she'll move in for the kiss, if she's not it's just an affectionate touch of her face which is a small escalation from touching her knee. If she doesn't come in after touching her face more your hand slightly and run your finders down her shoulder and her arm. No loss of face on your part, keep chatting and try again in a few minutes.

 

[ulrich]

she should always be bought in, whether excitedly, or nervously.

Thanks, @Grand Pooba, I seem to keep forgetting this one.
Thanks for the reminder.

 

[ulrich]

When sat with a girl you can generally tell if you can escalate to a kiss especially if you're already rubbing her knee or whatever. When you're sat next to her looking in her eyes with a slight smile from enjoying her company the conversation drops for a moment, just use your fingertips to touch the her jaw lightly and bring her head towards you. If she's thinking the same as you are she'll move in for the kiss, if she's not it's just an affectionate touch of her face which is a small escalation from touching her knee. If she doesn't come in after touching her face more your hand slightly and run your finders down her shoulder and her arm. No loss of face on your part, keep chatting and try again in a few minutes.

Thanks, @Derek da man.
This is actually poretty clever, I{ll make sure to remember this technique.