- Joined
- Sep 24, 2013
- Messages
- 5
This one happened a couple of weeks ago but I still didn't figure out what happened.
At a bar/club, saw a girl looking around, so I opened. Introduced myself. Looks like my korean ex, I tell her she is korean, she seems slightly impressed.
Chatted for a while, asked her to come to the bar. She says she can't leave her friend. I ask her friend if I can borrow her for just a moment. Her friend smiles and says 'I'll come!'.
So I didn't really want to be the guy buying them drinks, but knew I needed to begin moving the girl, and that was what came to mind. So now I have them both at the bar.
Her friend has a smirnoff ice which is almost full. So I think that I'll just get the girl a drink since the friend already has one. I fumble it and it ends up looking like I refused to buy her friend a drink because she's not the one I like. (She suggested I buy shots since she had a drink, I'm don't want to be drinking that much, or spending that much and looking like I'm chasing, so I didn't get the shots). My girl feels bad for her friend and says she will share her drink with her. Girl seems to be still cool with me.
I move them to sit down, the friend sits between me and the girl and starts asking me the very boring interview questions. I get visibly bored and a slightly short in my answers, the girl is getting bored too as she is not in the conversation. The friend excuses herself for the bathroom and doesn't come back, she goes and finds their other friends in the club somewhere.
Chat with the girl for a while, asks why I broke up with my ex, tell her because of religion, I ask if she is religious, she says no, I say 'thank god'. I think I showed I am (too) interested by saying that.
She asks me how old I am, I am 29, she is 20. We talk about age differences and agree that a guy should be at least 5 years older than the girl, she also says she her friends are older than her and usually hangs out with people older than herself. I also get her number.
All seems to be going well. Then she says she is going to the dance floor, to find her friends. I simply say 'ok'. Then she says 'You want to dance?', I say 'sure'.
So now I'm in the position where I am following her to the dance floor. She can't find her friends, so we end up walking around the edges of the dance floor. So here I can either just tell her I'm leaving or continue to help her look for her friends, while following her around. I figure one might look like chasing, and one will look like I'm rejecting her, so I decide to stick around and see what happens.
We find her friends, she immediately moves to the other side of her group of friends and sort of leaves me on the outside. Not sure what that means so I dance in the area, after a short time I maneuver around to her and introduces me to her friends. I don't know what I'm meant to be doing, so I dance with her and her friends. She mostly ignores me and leans over onto the stage facing the band. I get emotionally charged and feel like controlling her. I ask her to come with me to get a drink, she says she wants to stay with her friends. I say I'm going to get a drink, she says 'Ok have fun!'.
I run into her at the end of the night, I say we should get a coffee, she tells me she has a boyfriend and shows me a pic of her with a guy on the background of her phone.
Questions:
Apart from the fact that I was too emotionally invested, I'm not really sure where I lost it with this girl. Weather at the dance-floor or if I had already missed an escalation window or something. Any thoughts?
At a bar/club, saw a girl looking around, so I opened. Introduced myself. Looks like my korean ex, I tell her she is korean, she seems slightly impressed.
Chatted for a while, asked her to come to the bar. She says she can't leave her friend. I ask her friend if I can borrow her for just a moment. Her friend smiles and says 'I'll come!'.
So I didn't really want to be the guy buying them drinks, but knew I needed to begin moving the girl, and that was what came to mind. So now I have them both at the bar.
Her friend has a smirnoff ice which is almost full. So I think that I'll just get the girl a drink since the friend already has one. I fumble it and it ends up looking like I refused to buy her friend a drink because she's not the one I like. (She suggested I buy shots since she had a drink, I'm don't want to be drinking that much, or spending that much and looking like I'm chasing, so I didn't get the shots). My girl feels bad for her friend and says she will share her drink with her. Girl seems to be still cool with me.
I move them to sit down, the friend sits between me and the girl and starts asking me the very boring interview questions. I get visibly bored and a slightly short in my answers, the girl is getting bored too as she is not in the conversation. The friend excuses herself for the bathroom and doesn't come back, she goes and finds their other friends in the club somewhere.
Chat with the girl for a while, asks why I broke up with my ex, tell her because of religion, I ask if she is religious, she says no, I say 'thank god'. I think I showed I am (too) interested by saying that.
She asks me how old I am, I am 29, she is 20. We talk about age differences and agree that a guy should be at least 5 years older than the girl, she also says she her friends are older than her and usually hangs out with people older than herself. I also get her number.
All seems to be going well. Then she says she is going to the dance floor, to find her friends. I simply say 'ok'. Then she says 'You want to dance?', I say 'sure'.
So now I'm in the position where I am following her to the dance floor. She can't find her friends, so we end up walking around the edges of the dance floor. So here I can either just tell her I'm leaving or continue to help her look for her friends, while following her around. I figure one might look like chasing, and one will look like I'm rejecting her, so I decide to stick around and see what happens.
We find her friends, she immediately moves to the other side of her group of friends and sort of leaves me on the outside. Not sure what that means so I dance in the area, after a short time I maneuver around to her and introduces me to her friends. I don't know what I'm meant to be doing, so I dance with her and her friends. She mostly ignores me and leans over onto the stage facing the band. I get emotionally charged and feel like controlling her. I ask her to come with me to get a drink, she says she wants to stay with her friends. I say I'm going to get a drink, she says 'Ok have fun!'.
I run into her at the end of the night, I say we should get a coffee, she tells me she has a boyfriend and shows me a pic of her with a guy on the background of her phone.
Questions:
Apart from the fact that I was too emotionally invested, I'm not really sure where I lost it with this girl. Weather at the dance-floor or if I had already missed an escalation window or something. Any thoughts?