Friday 13 okt 2017
So I attended 3 parties that night. Not something I would do that often. But it was fun, met new people and l learned alot from this experience. I wil try to summarize the important things.
Salsa night
Every Friday night there is a salsa party at my dance school from 22:00 till 2:00h. Free entrance but after 22:30h you have to pay a fee of €5.50,- I frequently go there and I usually meet up with my social circle there. Before I went to the salsa night, I had drinks with a buddy of mine. Lets call him L he also dance salsa. so we soon headed there together.
Me usually being social there, talk to people I know and danced with the regular girls. Sometime later l was talking with L, we both noticed that lately a lot more guys, especially the beginners, are hitting on the girls here. Which to me is not a problem, but I have to be more subtle and I don't want to do the same as the guys here. It's custom here for guys to ask a girl to dance first, but yeah the beginners are actively trying to flirt with girls. On my left eye corner I see girl E, she brought a friend l haven't seen before. 2 guys are trying to engage E and her friend. I said to L:
come lets go to E and her friend and cockblock the guys for the lulz
He was like yeah sure, And so we did. I ask E's friend to dance with me, she was down. we both go to the dancefloor. and the guys who were talking with them before, were following us awkwardly to the dancefloor. Let's call E's friend Nini. She has never danced salsa before so l had to teach the basic step to her. After our dance was over, I left her because I wanted to socialize with people and dance with other girls. I saw Nini later again and this time I engaged her again:
Me: So have you started to get better now?
She: Yeah Blabla ( don't remember her exact words)
we started to get to know eachother. I try to deepdive and focus the talk on her.
Somewhere during the conversation I told her I workout regularly. She proceeds to touch my abs. I take this as a IOI and suggest to talk outside to get some fresh air. She refused, and l didn't persist here so I went alone outside. My mistake here. Should have been more persistent in a savvy way. kinda had a blackout.
Its 1:00am by now I saw Nini again, talked with her and ask if she was single, she said Yes. I proceed to ask her out, she kinda hesitate but still agrees. We exchange numbers.
I haven't texted her till this day. I feel it's not a solid number, made some mistake towards end of the interaction. I left the dance school and head towards a birthday party of a girl who used to be my housemate.
Birthday party
This birthday party started at 21:00h, so by the time I got there it was already 01:30h. Most people already left.
The party was held in the basement of a pub, not far walking from the dance school. l went inside and it looks nice. There were like maybe 30 people there, of which I know the birthday girl and my other housemates were there as well. I greeted the birthday girl and my housemates. I saw a girl was by herself. I have seen her before. She was at my houseparty I threw in may 2017. But l forgot her name and pretended we never met. I started talking to her:
Me: Hey there, so how do you know the birthday girl?
She: Oh, we used to be in the same class and we play hockey together blabla
Dont remember the details, but we were talkin and getting to know each other. I noticed we had really strong eye contact. We talked for like 5 minutes. I started to run out of things to say, and I said to her that I will be right back cuz l wanted to get a new beer. I never had the chance to talk to her again, cuz she went back to her friends.
When l run out things to say, l feel kinda awkward and want to get out of the situation. Maybe l put to much pressure to myself. Ah well, I need more reference and keep practice more so I dont get a black out.
I don't really like this party. everyone was engaging in there own social circle, there were not many girls. I left this party after 45min and went to the international party.
International Party
I got invited by a british girl that studies here European Law ( Which I find ironic because, remember that England left the EU) Lets call her Ly. I approached her during the day a week ago. long story short. She was not interested to date ( dont know why) but she invited me to her international party. I was like sure why not. She live really close to my apartment, so l had good logistic to pull, when the opportunity arise.
When l got there inside, one of the housemate of Ly recognize me from a salsa party. She was like I know you, you can dance really well blablabla!! So I had instant social proof there. It was 3am, most people already left and the booze was almost empty. I talked with the few people here remaining to get into the social mood. People starting to slowly leave. I haven't seen Lucy yet, I asked the roommate, the one that recognize me from salsa, where Ly is. the roommate proceed to head to Ly's room and knock on the door. Ly opened the door she was on the phone. We said hi, but didn't further engage me. Ly dragged the the housemate inside her room. Now l was all alone here hehe. I was like meh, lets go talk to other people.
I see a Spanish lookin girl dancing with her friend. I approached the Spanish girl and open with a coldread "You're from Spain right?" She was like yes. Wuahah my coldread is on point. Anyway we talked, wanted to dance salsa with her. she refused, said the music wasnt appropriate for that. started to get to know eachother. Later the conversation I ask if she remembers my name. She totally forgot. I said to her let's go somewhere quiet where I will tell you my name. She follows me to the hallway. few moments later I got cockblocked by her friends. The Spanish girl attention went to her friends. I felt awkward there and left the Spanish girl without saying anything to her. Later I Ly came to the living room and started talking to me. telling me that she was on the phone and offered Wodka to make it up. I accept her offer, she told me that will be back to grab Wodka from her room. SO l waited a few minutes in the living room. She never came back. Looking around everyone was engaged. I starting to feel like a social burden cuz l didn't know anyone here. So I decided to go home :'/
Looking back I should not have break circle with the Spanish girl, but be somewhat aloof and wait until she engage me again. And also I need to learn to deal with the social tension. So I will read articles about tension on GC. Starting with this one:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/awesome-power-tension
