A
Anonymous
Guest
doesn't want long term relationship/marriage/etc with me.
I have been with this beautiful woman for 5 years, I was 19 and she was 20. We've broken up a few times through the years but wasn't very long, maybe a month or so. Last year, I proposed to her and she said yes, it had been the best year of our lives after every thing we've been though before that. Since the engagement, things kind of got a little bumpy here and there, part of it was her family not really happy about the engagement even though I asked her parents, and of course we both made mistakes since then to where we fussed and fought quite often. We moved in together for the first time in December, broke up in March (but didn't get her stuff out of the apartment) and then in June and she hasn't been back with me since. I begged for about a week or so to come back home to me, and it wasn't working. I asked if she wanted to have sex the next day, at first she wasn't sure but the whole next day (which was the day before our 5th year anniversary of being together), she was acting like my girlfriend again and we had sex that night. Afterwards, I asked if she want to come back tomorrow since it would be a special day for us and her attitude completely changed and she left. I stopped texting her and quit bothering her cold turkey. That next weekend, she got her stuff out of the apt and left.
I didn't bother her for the next 3 weeks. One night I texted her asking how she was doing to see if she's doing alright and then didn't bother her for another week or 2, texting her saying I'm sorry I didn't respect and appreciate her like I should and she said thank you, wish you well. Nothing again til the next week, she texted me saying she signed herself off of the lease and I needed to go sign it to ok it to be official.
Then the next week, she texted me saying she would like to get the concert tickets (concert in 2 weeks) that I had bought back in April, and she would pay me back for it. I kept the ticket when we broke up since I paid for it. She is going to the concert with my cousin, who is still close to my ex. So anyways, I met her at her work after it was closed so it was just us, it was awkward at first but we started talking, catching up with each other's life for about 20-30 minutes. She noticed right off the bat at how much I've lost weight from working out and she seemed impressed. She asked if I had been with anyone since the break up, and I said no and she said she hasn't either. I said really? It's been awhile, almost 2 months (longest I've ever been without sex post-virgin life and same for her, we are each other's first), I said kinda jokingly that we could go do it but it would make things complicated. She took it and so we both drove to the apt and had sex. Afterwards, she said her only intention is just to have sex. She has no desire of wanting maybe get back together with me someday. She stressed to me that we probably shouldn't do this anymore because it might give me false hopes (this isn't the first time we've done this previous break ups). She said she felt like she's using me for sex.
She went home and she texted me later that night, asking if I would like to meet again tomorrow night and I said sure. We flirted a little, saying she miss my c**k and all that. Then said goodnight, pray about our situation and she said you too, pray that we could be friends someday. Really? WTF? So next day (yesterday), we texted a little back and forth about what time to meet but nothing really more than that. So last night, we f**ked and we laid there afterwards on the bed talking, she emphasize how much she doesn't want to be with me, blah blah blah, how she wish there was someone before her to learn from so I could treat her better, etc. She said she loves me but in a different way now. Obviously, she still finds me somewhat attractive to want to have sex with me but she's moved on?
I'm confused. I really regret not doing the right things before and I really truly feel I've changed, I know I've said that to her in prior break ups but I've read some books from Gary Chapman and definitely made me think and want to change it. I told her about that and she didn't seem to be interested in hearing about it. We had a lot in common but also lot of differences and that hurt us some, I'm willing to stuck it up and deal with it. I told her I had such an ego while we were together. I told her straight up to clear the confusion, that I do not want to get back together now but I'm open to possibly getting back with you someday (I was thinking in a month or so) and take it slow and she said she can't do that.
Any advice on what I should do? Or shouldn't do? I really want her back in my life, I still think she still is the love of my life. One point during the no contact period, I was fine without her and now I'm having mixed feelings because we've been down that road before and it worked but this time, she said the feeling is different this time around. Sex is awesome of course but I want more than that and she doesn't. She admit that she doesn't want to go elsewhere to have sex, she's comfortable with me because we have a history. Should I keep tapping it hoping that she'll eventually 'fall back in love" with me or what? HELP! I'd appreciate it.
I have been with this beautiful woman for 5 years, I was 19 and she was 20. We've broken up a few times through the years but wasn't very long, maybe a month or so. Last year, I proposed to her and she said yes, it had been the best year of our lives after every thing we've been though before that. Since the engagement, things kind of got a little bumpy here and there, part of it was her family not really happy about the engagement even though I asked her parents, and of course we both made mistakes since then to where we fussed and fought quite often. We moved in together for the first time in December, broke up in March (but didn't get her stuff out of the apartment) and then in June and she hasn't been back with me since. I begged for about a week or so to come back home to me, and it wasn't working. I asked if she wanted to have sex the next day, at first she wasn't sure but the whole next day (which was the day before our 5th year anniversary of being together), she was acting like my girlfriend again and we had sex that night. Afterwards, I asked if she want to come back tomorrow since it would be a special day for us and her attitude completely changed and she left. I stopped texting her and quit bothering her cold turkey. That next weekend, she got her stuff out of the apt and left.
I didn't bother her for the next 3 weeks. One night I texted her asking how she was doing to see if she's doing alright and then didn't bother her for another week or 2, texting her saying I'm sorry I didn't respect and appreciate her like I should and she said thank you, wish you well. Nothing again til the next week, she texted me saying she signed herself off of the lease and I needed to go sign it to ok it to be official.
Then the next week, she texted me saying she would like to get the concert tickets (concert in 2 weeks) that I had bought back in April, and she would pay me back for it. I kept the ticket when we broke up since I paid for it. She is going to the concert with my cousin, who is still close to my ex. So anyways, I met her at her work after it was closed so it was just us, it was awkward at first but we started talking, catching up with each other's life for about 20-30 minutes. She noticed right off the bat at how much I've lost weight from working out and she seemed impressed. She asked if I had been with anyone since the break up, and I said no and she said she hasn't either. I said really? It's been awhile, almost 2 months (longest I've ever been without sex post-virgin life and same for her, we are each other's first), I said kinda jokingly that we could go do it but it would make things complicated. She took it and so we both drove to the apt and had sex. Afterwards, she said her only intention is just to have sex. She has no desire of wanting maybe get back together with me someday. She stressed to me that we probably shouldn't do this anymore because it might give me false hopes (this isn't the first time we've done this previous break ups). She said she felt like she's using me for sex.
She went home and she texted me later that night, asking if I would like to meet again tomorrow night and I said sure. We flirted a little, saying she miss my c**k and all that. Then said goodnight, pray about our situation and she said you too, pray that we could be friends someday. Really? WTF? So next day (yesterday), we texted a little back and forth about what time to meet but nothing really more than that. So last night, we f**ked and we laid there afterwards on the bed talking, she emphasize how much she doesn't want to be with me, blah blah blah, how she wish there was someone before her to learn from so I could treat her better, etc. She said she loves me but in a different way now. Obviously, she still finds me somewhat attractive to want to have sex with me but she's moved on?
I'm confused. I really regret not doing the right things before and I really truly feel I've changed, I know I've said that to her in prior break ups but I've read some books from Gary Chapman and definitely made me think and want to change it. I told her about that and she didn't seem to be interested in hearing about it. We had a lot in common but also lot of differences and that hurt us some, I'm willing to stuck it up and deal with it. I told her I had such an ego while we were together. I told her straight up to clear the confusion, that I do not want to get back together now but I'm open to possibly getting back with you someday (I was thinking in a month or so) and take it slow and she said she can't do that.
Any advice on what I should do? Or shouldn't do? I really want her back in my life, I still think she still is the love of my life. One point during the no contact period, I was fine without her and now I'm having mixed feelings because we've been down that road before and it worked but this time, she said the feeling is different this time around. Sex is awesome of course but I want more than that and she doesn't. She admit that she doesn't want to go elsewhere to have sex, she's comfortable with me because we have a history. Should I keep tapping it hoping that she'll eventually 'fall back in love" with me or what? HELP! I'd appreciate it.
