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My first date

SunnyVibes

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 17, 2023
Messages
63
Meeting:
Writer’s meetup group.
I used “come hither” eye contact sequence. I looked up and caught her eye again, she smiled, I looked away quickly to the right.

At session end, I opened following a linger walk.
Light conversation.

She suggested we meet for coffee instead of instant walk I proposed.

I used Chase’s texting article to set up the date.

I chose a date location with 5 Cs.

09/15/2023
Date:

A) Greeting: I did not like.
B) Small talk: I made some.
C) Deep Conversation+ Relating:
Progression:
Sitting: I told her I’m nervous.
Personal talk: She was business like and challenging-1st attempt to touch, pulled hand away.
Psychology: Personalizing psychology led to intellectual vibe. I touched thigh.
D)Sex topics: She’s a virgin. We discussed Consent in Good Faith and I explained using fun scenarios of having sex. Less/no touch. Humor and vibe.
She talked of wanting relationship-she likes doing things sexually , but she knows herself, etc.
Thread cutting repetitively: Building scenarios of us together in creative situations, trying to move off topic.
Eye contact.

Progression gets fuzzy here-I will not list what happened here.
I reached step E.

E) Decrease in meaningful conversation and increase in touch:
Side body touching-shoulder to hip.
She enthusiastically spoke of meaningless things.
Tried for the kiss. 2 attempts.
2nd attempt I said something that changed mood 180 degrees. She started backward rationalization- I stopped it.
She came back.
She was warm-I decided not to kiss.
We parted ways when I told her to go soon after.

Date duration : 2 hours-2 hours 15 min.

My game:
Deep dive: Yes(start of deep dive:No)
Situational humor: Mostly question form.
Creating stories: Yes
Turning words around: Yes
Touch: Lightly
Cold reads: A couple
NLP: A bit.

My personal learnings I’ve write in a book.

I attempted to set up a date the next day.
Received the following message:

“hey, thanks for taking the time to meet up. I really value honesty, so I wanted to let you know that while I enjoyed our conversation, I didn’t feel a romantic connection. I hope we can both appreciate the clarity, best of luck in everything!”

I’m happy. I went on the first complete date of my life that happened because of me.

I welcome all comments.

SunnyVibes🔆
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

SunnyVibes

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 17, 2023
Messages
63
My attempt for a 2nd date:
Whoa, hold your horses! That’s my bad. I was going through something-I wasn’t as present as I might be. So sorry if you felt like I wasn’t into it. Let’s do one more meet-we’ll make it super fun and I’ll be focused this time. I guarantee it.

Her response
hey, no it absolutely was not you. I’m just not in the space for a relationship and I want to respect both of our time. Thanks!

My response
No worries-I wish you the best!

End.
Thoughts: I had fun😊
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
6,170
Nice job going on your first date, man.

It's okay to be nervous. I wouldn't recommend telling girls you are, but there's no rule that says you have to not tell them. You can always just tell them that until you feel comfortable enough on dates that you're not actually getting nervous anymore -- maybe it'll help you mark your progress.

I'm not sure if I'd be trying sex talk as a complete beginner (and... virgin? If it's your first date ever, I'm guessing yes?). But who knows, if you really want to experiment with it, interesting things may happen!

Overall sounds like it went fine for a first date, with some awkwardness, some mistakes, and the girl ended things. Not abnormal when you're starting late -- it'll take some time to learn to create that spark.

I can't offer much in the way of suggestions, since this is mostly just a list of techniques you used plus your feeling on how they went. It looks like a good technique list -- but of course a list + reactions doesn't tell a complete story.

Next time, try writing up a proper report in the Field Reports Board -- you'll likely get some better feedback:


Cheers,
Chase
 

SunnyVibes

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 17, 2023
Messages
63
Nice job going on your first date, man.

It's okay to be nervous. I wouldn't recommend telling girls you are, but there's no rule that says you have to not tell them. You can always just tell them that until you feel comfortable enough on dates that you're not actually getting nervous anymore -- maybe it'll help you mark your progress.

I'm not sure if I'd be trying sex talk as a complete beginner (and... virgin? If it's your first date ever, I'm guessing yes?). But who knows, if you really want to experiment with it, interesting things may happen!

Overall sounds like it went fine for a first date, with some awkwardness, some mistakes, and the girl ended things. Not abnormal when you're starting late -- it'll take some time to learn to create that spark.

I can't offer much in the way of suggestions, since this is mostly just a list of techniques you used plus your feeling on how they went. It looks like a good technique list -- but of course a list + reactions doesn't tell a complete story.

Next time, try writing up a proper report in the Field Reports Board -- you'll likely get some better feedback:


Cheers,
Chase
Hey Chase, it’s nice to hear from you.

I’m practicing vulnerability- Mark Manson’s concept. I will one day not feel as nervous as I did and I will not say it thereafter. So as a byproduct it’ll work to mark my progress for sure. Also, I like that while you may not recommend telling girls I’m nervous, that you’re open minded about it.

About my sexual experiences, I prefer not to discuss them. To answer the intent behind your question, I feel like a virgin, and am excited to explore this world! Actually my discussion of sexual topics is as a fun discussion not a technique; I’d rather prefer to learn how to flirt with a woman and be direct with my sexual intentions right now- so maybe I’m already incorporating your advice?

Thanks for the kindness regarding the date and what happened on it!

About the field report, I will start posting details of conversation once my physical foundations are handled and I can put into action the good and perhaps advanced advice I would get.

I am grateful for the community here. I got great advice from a member on this particular date.

Thank you for your advice.

Warmly,
SunnyVibes🔆
 

SunnyVibes

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 17, 2023
Messages
63
What is this? This seems interesting.

Overall, this seems like a pleasant interaction. Nice. If it was really as you described, I think you should be proud.

Keep making things nice 👌
Hey Hoof Hearted,
Thanks for the cool message!
It felt pleasant near the ending yes.
Consent in Good Faith is consent with the expectation that sexual boundaries might be broken during passionate sex. A main principle is of faith in one’s partners intentions if boundaries are broken.
If you’re interested, you may find more information in BDSM sources.
 
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