My struggles with approach anxiety. In London.

[razir110]

Uff so much to write here so I will just keep it very short.

Honestly overcoming approach anxiety to me feels like quitting smoking. I approach and I DO GET RESULTS, I get dates, I get laids. And then.. I just f freeze again! The bloody anxiety doesn't go away, I just stop approaching and lose momentum and then have to start all over again. It's like you didn't smoke for 2 weeks and then reward yourself with a ciggy and go back to smoking, does this makes sense? Like these past 2 days I didn't approach ones. Chickened out every single time and now feel like shit about it. I just can't pick up the momentum!

Damn in London I feel so f* awkward to approach.. This city is so cold, everyone has such a don't-approach-me dickface on them.. Also I feel like there is a feminazi vibe in the air and it's almost wrong to approach a girl..

Also, I am in my mid 30's so on one hand approaching should be easier since I have confidence in myself, money, status, etc. On the other hand it's the feminazism in London maybe?.. It just makes me feel so strange to approach!.. Especially younger girls in their mid 20's or so... Grrrrrr

Wtf I don't know lads, do you relate to any of this? Anyone from LDN? Do you have these relapses of non-approaching???

Opinions please!

Best!

 

[topcat]

I live in LDN. The feminazism is in your head, i understand your fear of it but it’s a negligible concern.

Just approach as you would any stranger and not like you intend to fuck a chick (ie. laid back and curious, as opposed to thirsty or performative) then worry about covert influence afterwords. You shouldn’t have any issues.

Question: are you able approach regular strangers without anxiety?

 

[razir110]

Well that's good to read the feminazism is in my head bc it feels pretty real! For example I spent a few weeks in Brasil and approaching there felt the most natural thing in the world and women would just.. ..felt approachable, but in LDN, ESPECIALLY the Brits, have such a massive grumpy face.. And it seems to spread to everyone around seriously..

What do you define by regular strangers, like ask for directions to someone or to chat to the Uber driver? No, no issues what so ever. With women, I open pretty direct, with a personal complement and take it from there. But as I said, I just have been having these freezeouts that are so frustrating.

Btw where do you approach in London? I usually go around Kings Cross, Moorgate (the classy banker girls), Oxford Circus, Mayfair etc for tourists. Do you have any other suggestions? Maybe a bit outside of the city center?

 

[topcat]

Well that's good to read the feminazism is in my head bc it feels pretty real! For example I spent a few weeks in Brasil and approaching there felt the most natural thing in the world and women would just.. ..felt approachable, but in LDN, ESPECIALLY the Brits, have such a massive grumpy face.. And it seems to spread to everyone around seriously..

People don’t look approachable as they usually have somewhere to go or be over here, they’re not usually on the street for leisure especially the spots you’ve suggested.

What do you define by regular strangers, like ask for directions to someone or to chat to the Uber driver? No, no issues what so ever. With women, I open pretty direct, with a personal complement and take it from there. But as I said, I just have been having these freezeouts that are so frustrating.

Yeah i mean could you give a regular person a compliment without anxiety? say a guy wearing a cool hat?

What i’m getting at is you should tackle approaching girls in the same way (even if contrived). Focus on finding out if she’s interesting or how her days going rather than how to get her number or whatever. That takes the pressure and the anxiety off your back.

Btw where do you approach in London? I usually go around Kings Cross, Moorgate (the classy banker girls), Oxford Circus, Mayfair etc for tourists. Do you have any other suggestions? Maybe a bit outside of the city center?

Well what i will say is the spots you’ve picked have VERY heavy traffic, especially Oxford Circus. This is good for volume but a lot of chicks have their guards up in those spots and are on a mission to get somewhere. Your best bet are parks, quieter streets near busy areas, cool food markets and areas around galleries/museums. Or on your daily errands around the city. Oxford Circus/piccadilly etc. are terrible.

I’ve approached with success in the area behind Kings Cross though. More people sitting and chilling around there..

 

[DarkKnight]

Wtf I don't know lads, do you relate to any of this? Anyone from LDN

Best way to get out ofnyour heads is by taking action. You are worrying too much about irrelevant stuff like your age and feminazis. I understand what you mean and why you worry, but when you engage people (in a calibrated way) you notice it doesnt matter as much as you thought. Nonsense limiting beliefs.

Also I too am not a big fan of very crowded places..

 

[Rakehell]

Damn in London I feel so f* awkward to approach.. This city is so cold, everyone has such a don't-approach-me dickface on them.. Also I feel like there is a feminazi vibe in the air and it's almost wrong to approach a girl..

Gonna add in and say it helps to turn the empathy down.

Instead of trying to get in their head and figure out whether they’re receptive.

Working sales I realized that most people aren’t immediately receptive (especially visually) to being talked to. Disregard that and put your charm on anyway.

Goal should be to pull them out of whatever they have going on and put them on your program so that you have some reference points to work with.

 

[Chase]

@razir110,

When you make assumptions about a place and its people based on superficial appearances and NOT from enough sincere approaches, you will with 100% consistency get it wrong.

I’ve been in over 30 countries, and probably 100+ different cities, and have approached women in many of them. I’ve also had some stretches (especially when I was beginner/intermediate) where I’d arrive at a new place, not do any approaching at first, get in my head, and start thinking everyone there was closed off and I made a bad choice going there.

A few trips I did not start approaching till the LAST day there… then decided, “Well, I’d better give it a shot so I’m not leaving with a completely fucked opinion of the place,” then on that last day had multiple great approaches, girls who wanted to see me again, or SDL’ed / SNL’ed a girl. You walk away from it going, “Geez, what was I THINKING the earlier part of the trip! I had no IDEA how good this place was! I’m an idiot!”

There are places like that where I was sour on the first week or so there, finally approached on the last day or two, had great experiences, then had to come back to a second time (or more) because I discovered that actually, I really like meeting women here.

Some of my favorite cities are cities it took me a little while to get going in (then once I did became bonanzas).

In 2009 or 2010 I gave myself the rule of “You are not allowed to form ANY kind of impression about the approachability or receptivity of the women in a given city or country until you have sincerely and seriously approached at least 20 women there.”

All kinds of preconceptions get blown apart when you start approaching seriously.

You can think all kinds of things from how people LOOK from a distance before you approach… it’s always just total in-your-head bullshit.

Honestly, the only places still in my head as “This place actually sucks; I don’t like this place” are places I went to earlier on and did not approach much or at all in. Anywhere in the world I have put the approaches in, I have met desirable women who were happy to meet me, came out on dates, and came in my bed.

At this point, I’m not really convinced there are “bad spots”… just spots where you didn’t put the approaches in… I guess there are places that are super small and don’t have young, single women in any kind of abundance… maybe those would be “bad spots”.

Everywhere else, if you do the approaches, you will find women you hit it off with.

Find women you hit it off with, and suddenly you will find you like a given locale a whole lot better.

As for the feminazi stuff… well, do your 20 approaches. If every woman runs you off yelling about misogyny, then you can come back on here and say, “See guys? I knew these chicks were feminazis! And now I have proof!” If on the other hand you get some cheerful, warm receptions, and hopefully some dates, and perhaps a lay or two, you can come on here and share a different kind of success

Chase

 

[razir110]

@Chase Fine, then I publicly commit to approaching 20 girls and to present my findings here

@topcat Btw just went to meet friends at Battersea Park, perfect location, people there a chilled and relaxed. Loads of cure girls! Will explore that tomorrow.

 

[Chad Tyrone]

Uff so much to write here so I will just keep it very short.

Honestly overcoming approach anxiety to me feels like quitting smoking. I approach and I DO GET RESULTS, I get dates, I get laids. And then.. I just f freeze again! The bloody anxiety doesn't go away, I just stop approaching and lose momentum and then have to start all over again. It's like you didn't smoke for 2 weeks and then reward yourself with a ciggy and go back to smoking, does this makes sense? Like these past 2 days I didn't approach ones. Chickened out every single time and now feel like shit about it. I just can't pick up the momentum!

Damn in London I feel so f* awkward to approach.. This city is so cold, everyone has such a don't-approach-me dickface on them.. Also I feel like there is a feminazi vibe in the air and it's almost wrong to approach a girl..

Also, I am in my mid 30's so on one hand approaching should be easier since I have confidence in myself, money, status, etc. On the other hand it's the feminazism in London maybe?.. It just makes me feel so strange to approach!.. Especially younger girls in their mid 20's or so... Grrrrrr

Wtf I don't know lads, do you relate to any of this? Anyone from LDN? Do you have these relapses of non-approaching???

Opinions please!

Best!

Shoot first,ask questions later.Approach first,worry about feminazism later lol.U feel me

 

[MarkA]

I'm another Londoner and been here over ten years.

I get where you are coming from but I can't agree. Some girls are difficult and some are easy wherever you go.

London has tons of foreign girls who are receptive. As Topcat suggests find places where it is more chilled and go there.

Also Tevster suggests a thing he calls a flyby approach (look it up). Basically just do a quick approach and note her reaction. If good spend more time with her and if not then move on.

One last thing - most people have a blank mask face esp. on the Underground. It has no connection as to how receptive they will be.