My trick to be less apologetic, more assertive

[TwoNameGame]

We've all felt the need to apologize to be polite, but that isn't conducive to game because it lowers the energy and makes you seem submissive. At the same time, not recognizing your impact on others indicates a lack of emotional intelligence.

So, my trick to be more assertive and get the ball rolling is to flip the script. Instead of apologizing for minor stuff, I recognize others' character.

For example, I don't say, "Sorry to bother you, miss, but I wanted to say hi." I say, "It's nice to find someone social" Then, I transition to, "You ever notice how little people actually get to know each other when they're actually surrounded by others sharing the same experience?"

I don't say, "I'm sorry for annoying you with my troubles (disqualifying myself)" Or "Thanks for listening (needy)". I tell the listener, "You're sweet" or "You're a good friend." These reframe situations positively and make the person feel better if timed right. Best of all, people try to live up to your compliments.

If something is small and not my fault, I don't apologize. So when I mess up because of my flaws, I apologize and they know it's real.

I've never had anyone call me too grateful or observant.

 

[TwoNameGame]

If you're new, remember that there is nothing wrong with game. There is no need to apologize for talking to someone.

However, it's easier said than done if your whole life you heard otherwise, so I hope this helps reframe things rather than just get you to ignore that nagging voice in the back of your head.

 

[ulrich]

I don't say, "I'm sorry for annoying you with my troubles (disqualifying myself)" Or "Thanks for listening (needy)". I tell the listener, "You're sweet" or "You're a good friend." These reframe situations positively and make the person feel better if timed right. Best of all, people try to live up to your compliments.

That’s a neat trick!

 

[TwoNameGame]

That’s a neat trick!

Has this helped you at any point?