Need advice on how to proceed with new girl

[Mr.Montague]

So Ive been seeing a girl on and off for about two months, which isnt long but lately we've been seeing more and more of each other. So recently she went out of town, so in my head I was thinking Ill let her do her thing and not reach out to her.

With that being said... Before she left, and well about 10 days before she left she had mentioned that she wanted me to come down to Miami with her. Now I am usually all for this, and would totally go for the experiecne. But I am freelancer, so my work comes up quick. Now its been a cpl of days with no communicating and she starts to text me, and I can tell that she has been drinking but that doesn't matter.

Her: (a picture of a guy, that looks like an older/tough version of me) 8:10P
Her: go get weird 8:11p
her: Ha okay dont get weird... Not sure why I thought of you when I saw this but I did. Hope youre weeks gone well 8:32p
Me: Haha Noelle. Miss me
Her: Dont Emoji me! Can't wait to see you upon my return... Miami Maybe 9:38P
Her: Maybe not wish thinking 9:38p
Me: Welcome to Miami! 10:32A

No I responded the next day because I had to work really early, and passed out. So I want to know, how do I proceed to let her know, that I am coming to Miami to meet her. Since, I already sent that text to her, I dont want to come across as needy....

 

[Garrett]

Mr. Montague,

I don't suggest you go to Miami with her man. Why? It's because, you're going on her terms... kiss of death.

In general, it's not good to do something especially if it interferes with your work, social life or whatever life you have. She needs to fit herself into your schedule on your terms.

I don't know where you are situated but if you are planning on travelling all the way to Miami with a girl, then it would seem as if you don't have much option with girls. A guy who is highly desired would laugh if a girl asked him to meet in another town, let alone State! I'm not trying to put you down but if you want this girl, you have to understand that you can't follow her lead, and expend all that time/energy/money on a girl you aren't even in a relationship in with.

If I were you, I'd kindly decline her offer and invite her over to your place to cook some dinner, then escalate shortly after. She may even be testing you to see how far you'd go for her, and doing something like that would slot you into boyfriend territory and her attraction for you may take a nose dive.

I could be wrong and I don't know all the details of your situation. Sometimes responses on here aren't accurate unless all details are laid out on the table. If I am wrong about anything, anyone reading this feel free to correct me, but based on a logical interpretation of your situation Mr Montague, I feel as though I have a fairly comprehensive understanding of your situation.

Best of luck my friend,
Garrett

 

[Mr.Montague]

Garrett,

I was thinking the same thing. I do want to go for the experience, but if I want to see more of this girl, I should probably slow it down a little more. I've had some options but I actually sent them on their way because they didnt meet up to my standards. Now this girl does, she has cooked me dinner and literally just likes hanging around me.... Im always the one who is pushing the relationship to where it is going, and she brought up Miami. She has a room at The Standard for the week, so I would only be paying for the plane ticket essentially, and I wont be missing any work...

How do you suggest I move forward?

 

[Garrett]

I know you want to go on this trip and you're hoping I'm going to tell you a way to justify going. The truth is man, those who are patient get what they want. I used to be so impatient with everything until I started training myself to wait for things. Ever hear of the saying, "Good things come to those who wait"? It's so true, except by waiting, that doesn't mean sitting in your apartment and hoping to meet a girl. You need to get out there and do it!

Okay here's the deal man. You said slow things down... what for? Just let the girl go on her trip, and get outside and go talk to a girl. It's really not that hard man, do it for you! If she says no, you be like hell yeah, I just did something that all other guys don't have the balls to do! Then you'll feel amazing then you'll go to the next girl, and the next one, until you finally start getting awesome results!

Don't worry about this girl man, if you feel the need to check her facebook or something go do it. Just try to get out there and meet more girls for your own good!

What you should do in your situation is meet other girls, and once she comes back you invite her over then take her as your sweet lover. Don't wait and take things slowly... that never works! Well, it works sometimes but you'll have to do a whole song and dance to get what you really want, to have her sprawled out naked on your bed . Forget waiting, you don't have time for that! You get her over and you manhandle that kiss then you let her wet the bed. Give her something that no other guy was able to give to her.

Okay, I'm ranting, but here's what I would do in your situation. I'd hit up some other girls, or meet new ones (preferably) then escalate with them to get warmed up. Don't hurt these girls though, Chase has you covered on this. Next, what you have to do is get her over to your place. Once again, Chase has you covered on texting girls to get dates, check out Girls Chase for more info. Then within 10 minutes, you land one on her and give it to her real good. Then, assuming you did all of that correctly and took care of her emotions, she's all yours .

Garrett

 

[Mr.Montague]

Haha Yeah man I get all that....

But I've already has this girl sprawled out on my bed screaming my name. I've done things to this girl that Im sure not a lot of guys do. Now little background about me, yes you are right, I do need more girls in my life but my deal is that I dont have a problem meeting girls never had, never will... I''m a natural only in face to face game..

Im here posting on this website, and reading the material to see where I stack up with what Ive been doing. I dont want to be a PUA, Im more into the thrill of life and taking it as it comes.

All Im asking and looking for is another perspective, and how I would open things up and see how other people handle other situations in a texting situation. I will say that my text game is terrible, I dont escalate and usually just use it for setting up phone calls. When girls text me, Im not really interested in responding because texting is annoying. With that being said, this girl has done all the chasing, she cooks me dinner and I bang the shit out her. I set up the dates, I say the times, and I say the places. I tell her when to meet and where to meet, now she has been trying to get me on this trip for quite some time, and keeps bringing it up.

She texts me when she is drunk, and getting hit on by other dudes... but she is thinking of me. But I am into this girl, but I am very give at being aloof, too good sometimes.

 

[Mr.Montague]

the only thing I meant by slowing it down is pursuing the relationship and letting it grow.... This girl already knows about other females in my life, but Im looking for woman that add value to my lief and pursuing relationships in that manner, Im not out there banging chicks left and right.

 

[Chase]

Montague-

The trip to Miami is one of those things you could do, if you did it exactly right. You'd want her chasing you and putting in a great deal of effort to get you to go... ideally, buying you a ticket.

Going late could be problematic, relationship-wise. If it wasn't part of your original plan... and especially after she's sent you texts while out drinking / of other guys... she'll be under a strong suspicion that you're chasing her down, and it's because you're afraid that leaving her alone will mean she ends up with other men. That means, she's Priority #1 to you, enough so that she's displaced your freelancing, prior plans, etc... no matter what you tell her to the contrary about these.

However, if you're not dead-set on keeping this girl around, and you want the experience, it may well be worth just doing it. The relationship will take a hit, but you'll get to chill in Miami, you'll be with a girl you dig, and it'll be good. The problems this creates relationship-wise won't start showing up much until later, so you can always go, enjoy the Miami sun and fun, enjoy your girl, and if/when things fall off a little later, it was a great experience, and you can move on knowing you did what you wanted to do.

Chase

 

[Mr.Montague]

Thanks for the info guys... Here's an update

Went to Miami, had a great time! I paid for my ticket she paid for everything else on the trip. Meals, hotel rooms etc.. With that being said...

This is response to the VDay article, I made and to hang with this girl on Friday. Now she is leaving town today for business, should I send her a text?et her know I'm thinking of her or just wait it out til Friday?

I do want to spend more time with her but don't wan to get to serious to fast. I know this girls likes me, but I'm on the fence of a new relationship and not wanting to move to fast in the Serious relationship category but enjoy building it up over time. Do you feel that not spending time with her on V day will cause her to withdraw? But I am seeing her in Friday.... In a weird spot, let me know

 

[Garrett]

Thanks for the info guys... Here's an update

Went to Miami, had a great time! I paid for my ticket she paid for everything else on the trip. Meals, hotel rooms etc.. With that being said...

This is response to the VDay article, I made and to hang with this girl on Friday. Now she is leaving town today for business, should I send her a text?et her know I'm thinking of her or just wait it out til Friday?

I do want to spend more time with her but don't wan to get to serious to fast. I know this girls likes me, but I'm on the fence of a new relationship and not wanting to move to fast in the Serious relationship category but enjoy building it up over time. Do you feel that not spending time with her on V day will cause her to withdraw? But I am seeing her in Friday.... In a weird spot, let me know

Mr. Montague,

Glad that worked out for you mate!

If I were you, I would wait till she gets back from her trip. Be patient. If you read Chase's article about V-tines Day, it says to not schedule anything until at least 2 days after the event. Apparently you have planned something shortly after the day; however, this isn't your best bet. You don't want her to associate anything V-tines with you, especially because you're trying to get into a more casual relationship, and build yourself up to a committed one, which is fine. V-tines day = commitment, and you're asking for it if you text her, send her gifts or anything along those lines.

We do need to clarify a few things though. Firstly, did you sleep with her? If not, you better do it soon or you really risk losing her! Also, don't text her to say you are missing her, only text her to get her out at this point, do that when you're committed to her. In casual relationships, you don't ever want to do that. It seems like you want to get committed to this girl, but your logical mind is saying "slow down there!" and your emotional brain is saying, "what are you waiting for!? Go get her!" Try not to be like all the other guys/people out there who just chase emotions; have a plan, stick to it, and gradually let yourself become more emotionally vulnerable in your relationship, and don't reveal all your cards .

Goodluck,
Garrett

 

[Mr.Montague]

All that sounds good. Yeah man, I've been sleeping with this girl for about 2 months now. All is good there, my main thing is that it seems that she puts a lot of effort into the relationship and Im only giving her half of what she is putting into it. Ya know? So I don't want her to think I'm unattainable.

 

[Garrett]

You want to aim to mirror what she's doing, but a little less and aim to come off natural (this takes practice). If she's texting you paragraphs and you're sending thought-less one liners, she'll feel 'buyers remorse' as she'll be over investing and you won't be taking care of her emotions. If you want commitment, then you could see her Friday. If you don't then avoid V-tines Day like the plague!

Garrett