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Need advice on recovery if possible...Please help!

Dropdagloves20

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Hey everyone, I am new to the boards, and I apologize if not in the right place, but I need insight and advice on recovering, or getting a girl re invested that just ended it... I tried using the search, however there was nothing with this situation... I'll try to be as brief as possible. I know I made a lot of mistakes towards the end here, so recovery may not be possible, but I'd really like to reel this one back in... Let me preface this with I don't want to marry this girl or anything, but I just want to get her back in my bed, and see where it leads. Sorry for the novel, just trying to give all details.

I'm in my mid 30's, and somewhat recently just got out of a long term relationship, hence being rusty at playing the game when it comes to texting women, dating, etc... Anyway, I work at an event venue where there are several different companies intertwined, and multiple operations going on. Once a week, when recieving deliveries, there is a female security guard in charge of the shipments that I see and associate with. She's extremely good looking, in her late 20's, and we've flirted every Friday that I've seen her since she started. Finally, after one Friday morning we spent flirting, I get a mysterious text from an unknown number and it turns out to be her... She had looked me up on whitepages.com and gotten my number, which was a little weird, but none the less, she told me she really liked me from the start and we started talking.

I started out really good at holding my cards to my chest, didn't let her know how much I liked her back, and we kept talking. I found out she is a mom, and that her kid comes first, so she warned me ahead of time, that there would be times where things come up and she might have to cancel dates, etc for her kid. She also randomly lives in the same neighborhood as mine. Anyway, about 2 days of minor talking, I asked her when I could see her, so we set a date for that night. Well long story short, she went MIA, text me at 5am the next day that her phone was lost and she found it in her driveway the next morning after looking for it all night. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and she said she would make it up to me and come over after work and hang out. She showed up, we talked for a little bit but she said she had a major headache. She said she didn't want to leave, we ended up making out for about half an hour, and then she said her headache was to much and had to go home. She then said she'd make it up the next day and come over and spend most of the night with me. Next day comes, we are texting and everythings normal. She's telling me how much she likes me and really happy she text me, etc., and counting down the hours till she gets to come see me. Long story short, right as she is supposed to come over she cancels because her sons dad got called into work and she had to go get him and no one else was available to babysit. I was cool with it, and woke up to a naked picture the next morning in what she says was an attempt to make up for not being able to hang out. I took that as my in to start talking sexual and got her to the point where she was telling me she wanted to have sex and give me head right after her shift. She came over and gave me head, but wouldn't let me do anything or have sex because she said she didn't anticipate it happening and didn't shave/clean up, but promised it would happen the next night.

The next day came and everything was great. We were sexting, and she was telling me how much she was all about me, and how she wanted to spend all her free time with me and wanted to come have sex and see me when she got off work.... Well anyway, time for her came to get off work and come see me, when she tells me her works making her stay late for a training, but it won't take long, so she was gonna hurry and then come over. 3 hours go by of her saying it's taking forever, etc. and finally I get impatient and tell her I'm probably just going to go get some stuff done I needed to. She said to go ahead and go and not to wait for her. Well, as I said earlier, we live in the same neighborhood, so I had to drive by, what I didn't know was her house at the time, until I saw her car sitting in the driveway. At this point I tried calling her to ask why if she was at work, her truck was in the driveway of her house. She didn't answer, so I text her and asked her if she drove her truck to work... she said yes, so I sent her a pic and asked her, well isn't this your truck in your driveway? She lost her shit and just replied with WTF, we are done! Then just continued with texts saying that she just got home, but wanted to surprise me so she ran home to change real quick and was going to come over and spend the night, but it doesn't matter because we are done and I have not trust, etc. I just said, "I don't like being lied to, and it sucks because I really liked you".

Anyway, the next day came and I had to see her at deliveries. I didn't know how to act, so I just didn't go near her or pay attention to her, however knowing we had to see eachother at work and not wanting it to be awkward, I text her if we could chat to clear the air when she gets off. She called me, and she explained that she really was just trying to surprise me, and I asked her what she wanted to do, and she said she wasn't ready to let me go, and I messed up and basically told her how much I like her). After that point, we texted, but it was obvious that it was different. The next day, she wouldn't respond for a couple hours, and then finally just responded with "I don't think I want to do this, as I think you are looking for something more serious than I am". I responded with "I wasn't looking for anything in particular, but just wanted honesty and communication in whatever we were. Now I know. See you around, no worries."

This is where I am at... It's just weird because prior to the night I caught her car in her driveway, she was the only one talking about how much she liked me, and wanted to see where it goes etc. I do like her, and I did make the mistake of telling her that, however I am mainly just wanting to get her back to have fun with... i.e. sex, fooling around, etc. This is the direction we were headed until I apparently caught her in a lie, or as she puts it, as surprise. Anyway I can get this girl in my bed still only seeing her once a week and using text? Or am I sunk? Literally, just want to get her back to the point where all she talked about was sex and liking me. Literally went to I wanna bang your brains out all the time, to I don't want to do this because I think you want something more serious than I do in one week... I know the turning point was me catching her car in the driveway, but anyway to resolve? Thanks all!
 
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BigPapa

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Mate , honest opinion , take into consideration that she might have other dudes in her life that she is sleeping with . Maybe the child father , or a mysterious sexy guy that uses her for sex and mainly all she wants from you is attention and validation :)

if I were you , I would just act normal , not looking butt hurt and let her do all the work and for sure not sexting with her .

what is sure that she is not relationship material so the best you can get out of her is a Friends with benefits relationship , but you should be careful as it looks like she is more experienced than you and maybe a little bit crazy :)
 

Dropdagloves20

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Mate , honest opinion , take into consideration that she might have other dudes in her life that she is sleeping with . Maybe the child father , or a mysterious sexy guy that uses her for sex and mainly all she wants from you is attention and validation :)

if I were you , I would just act normal , not looking butt hurt and let her do all the work and for sure not sexting with her .

what is sure that she is not relationship material so the best you can get out of her is a Friends with benefits relationship , but you should be careful as it looks like she is more experienced than you and maybe a little bit crazy :)

BP,
Thanks for the reply! I honestly took into account that she was probably talking to other guys, even though she swore she wasn't, just because of how flirty she is with everyone. Hence why I never asked for her number, as I thought she was just flirtatious, so when she went through all the trouble to get mind online, that's when I gave her a shot...

Also, I agree with you on the non relationship thing, and all I'm looking for right now is to try and make her reinterested and get her in bed... She's already blown me, but just by the way she was sexting, she seems like a good lay, so honestly that's all I want out of her...

My problem is that maybe I see her only once a week, and there's usually a ton of people around. Yesterday as I said in the previous message is when she said she didn't think she wanted to do this, and I said no problem, so I think texting is out... How can I get her to regain interest to the point of at least reaching out again... I already know to act like nothing happened and treat her like nothing ever happened minus the flirting, but how do I get her to chase and "do the work" if I'm not in contact with her and only see her once a week? If it's a lost cause it's a lost cause, just would love to get this girl back in bed if I can! Any help is appreciated!
 

BigPapa

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Well for sure You do not need to initiate anything and just let her initiate first .

when you see her once a week , be social , be warm , touch her , smile but do not flirt with her and let her make steps towards you . This is super important :)

when she will start teasing you do not start going into texting like before , just be straight to the point and tell her that you are busy and she can pass by your place to continue the discussion and leave it like that :) . Give her attention and be warm towards her only after she does good things for you , like great sex , great bj , etc .

What is important though now , as she might start chasing you or not , is to start talking with other girls , not necessarily to date them but more to have things happening .
 

Dropdagloves20

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Appreciate the advice... I really hope she bites...I'm really relying on that one day a week and that's what sucks... plus we only have a week of talking/seeing eachother, so not a whole lot of emotions to play on...
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

BigPapa

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Look mate I want to be honest , which you might not really appreciate :)

considering her behavior , it is a major red flag on the mental problems side . Normal girls just do not do anything from what you mentioned in your posts , at least not at the beginning like in your case

you can read more about this here :


Based on this , if you really want to put yourself in the line of fire and accept that things might go ugly , I am sure that if you play your hand like I mentioned will make her curious and start going crazy again for you :)

Just do not fall into thinking that she will ever change with or without your help .
 

Dropdagloves20

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BP,
Lol, you're awesome, and I agree with you. I'm not looking to change her or full on date her, she's just extremely attractive to me, and I'd really like to just have some fun with her. Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance besides a quick BJ and making out, and I'm just looking for the ability to get her there again if possible.

Plus it would be nice after all her bull shit to get her chasing me again, and learning from the past, and end it on my terms instead of hers. I'm aware she's nuts, and there's something weird there, I just mainly want to see if I can make this happen. A sort of conquest if you will... Not looking to hurt her, but just looking to play the game if you will, get her in my bed for a couple of weeks and then move on... Also help me strengthen my reattraction game if you will...

Any other advice would be greatly appreciated if you think of it. I see the fact that she ended it the way it ended being the biggest issue as that's where I made my biggest mistake, just hope it wasn't fatal...
 

BigPapa

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Don”t worry mate , crazy people do not function like Normal people do :) . Play your hand smart and she will come to you by her own choice .

if this would have happened with a normal girl , the chances of recovering would have been really slim .

The most important thing that you can learn from this is that you should never ask people to be true with you and just focus on your goal , in this case getting pussy :) . Not all girls are relationship material where honesty is important .

You should never care if a girl is lying or not , except if you are in a relationship with her . Focus on youR goal to get pussy and confronting people when they lie is not really getting you closer to the holy grail of pussy :)
 

BigPapa

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and try to meet other girls to keep your mind occupied , make eye contact with people when you walk on the street and you would be amazed of what might happen :)
 

Sub-Zero

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If you just wanted sex and nothing more, why are you taking pics of her car, sending it to her, to try to catch her in a lie? If she’s lying why do you care? You don’t want a relationship right?

She isn’t your girl or wife and I don’t blame her for getting angry you were trying to catch her in a lie by taking a pic and sending it to her.

That’s a no no.

The key is to not give a fuck about what women do and to know they won’t tell you the truth, especially if you’re not someone significant in her life.

Also, if you have to ask for strategies on how to get a girl back, she’s pretty much gone.

It’s better to ask what you could have done wrong so you don’t do it with the next girl, but it’s not good to worry about one specific girl because it messes up your game a lot.

You should have slept with her when you had the chance, she claims she didn’t shave, but you should have said you didn’t mind.

After you don’t lay a girl if you had the chance, you pretty much lose her.

Don’t be aggressive either, just say you don’t mind and show it.

My advice is to forget about her and meet other women, always be meeting other women even if you like a girl a lot.
 

Dropdagloves20

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If you just wanted sex and nothing more, why are you taking pics of her car, sending it to her, to try to catch her in a lie? If she’s lying why do you care? You don’t want a relationship right?

She isn’t your girl or wife and I don’t blame her for getting angry you were trying to catch her in a lie by taking a pic and sending it to her.

That’s a no no.

The key is to not give a fuck about what women do and to know they won’t tell you the truth, especially if you’re not someone significant in her life.

Also, if you have to ask for strategies on how to get a girl back, she’s pretty much gone.

It’s better to ask what you could have done wrong so you don’t do it with the next girl, but it’s not good to worry about one specific girl because it messes up your game a lot.

You should have slept with her when you had the chance, she claims she didn’t shave, but you should have said you didn’t mind.

After you don’t lay a girl if you had the chance, you pretty much lose her.

Don’t be aggressive either, just say you don’t mind and show it.

My advice is to forget about her and meet other women, always be meeting other women even if you like a girl a lot.

Sub-Zero, thanks for the post, as you are absolutely right. I didn't directly try to catch her in a lie. We live right down the street from eachother(which I didn't know at the time), so I drove by and saw her car parked in a driveway after she just told me she was at work. I fully admit I should have sucked it up and said nothing, however the heat of the moment and calling someone out on their bullshit was more important than pussy, and it shouldn't have been and I understand that now... I understand also how I sounded needy and weak after the fact trying to get back on track, and I learned from that as well. And trust me, I did every bit of trying to convince her I didn't care about shaving as possible, however she wouldn't let me into her pants and just blew me instead... trust me, I tried without getting to aggressive...

I was mainly just reaching out to see if there was a way to reattract, or a better way to go about it. I haven't had to do any of this stuff in years, as I was in a pretty long term relationship a relatively short time ago, so I'm a little rusty at playing the game. I will reach out to other girls, and do all that you guys have recommended, but I want to try and work on getting this one back chasing if possible, and was just asking for some advice on best way to go about it and if it's doable. Especially with my limited resources to her. I appreciate it for sure!
 

Michal

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I would say it's good that truck pic situation happened. As Sub-zero said, a lot of girls do not care that much unless it's someone special in their life. Flirty girls flirt more and therefore the ragne of guys is higher. For a normal, regular girl, you having ssx with her 1st time puts you up there. For a club queen, you need to bring the best sex because she probably had sex with 10+ guys before she was even 20.
Anyways, take a lesson from this. I understand you do not want anyone making fool of you (I'd say noone really does), and that actions speak louder than words. But with women you will almost never know their true motivations which are sometimes important to paint the context. Maybe she was saying she likes you and does not want to lose you because she enjoys the attention. Or because she wanted the sex. In the end, it does not matter. What matters is what you want. So, I am not sure if this would work, you definitely need to be non reactive and act as nothing happened like you said.. but if you see a window, I would just tell her to come over. You know, maybe at work she will be very warm and a bit flirty and she just casually mentions her son is with her grandmother. Or that she gets off work early and can have the evening for herself to relax after busy week at work. Anything that on subtext that says "I am available for couple of hours". It is not natural for me to be direct but I thanks to guys here it made me realize (and made it work couple times) that when you do that, women will test your resolve. But if they are open to the idea, they will go with it.
 

Sub-Zero

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Sub-Zero, thanks for the post, as you are absolutely right. I didn't directly try to catch her in a lie. We live right down the street from eachother(which I didn't know at the time), so I drove by and saw her car parked in a driveway after she just told me she was at work. I fully admit I should have sucked it up and said nothing, however the heat of the moment and calling someone out on their bullshit was more important than pussy, and it shouldn't have been and I understand that now... I understand also how I sounded needy and weak after the fact trying to get back on track, and I learned from that as well. And trust me, I did every bit of trying to convince her I didn't care about shaving as possible, however she wouldn't let me into her pants and just blew me instead... trust me, I tried without getting to aggressive...

I was mainly just reaching out to see if there was a way to reattract, or a better way to go about it. I haven't had to do any of this stuff in years, as I was in a pretty long term relationship a relatively short time ago, so I'm a little rusty at playing the game. I will reach out to other girls, and do all that you guys have recommended, but I want to try and work on getting this one back chasing if possible, and was just asking for some advice on best way to go about it and if it's doable. Especially with my limited resources to her. I appreciate it for sure!
Chances are low, Chase actually has a few articles on here about this and he himself said he has only done a turn around a few times.

Look up the articles on, the turn around and can’t stop thinking about her.

You would have to do preselection or get her alone with you someway somehow.

I know you feel you can do it and that you got it in the bag, but bro that’s why these articles are made, everyone has that inching feeling that they can do it. It’s a very low success rate and not worth it.

Besides texting her every week to go out, I can only think of preselection, which you still have to get her out with you to see you get other girls, not worth it imo.

You’re gonna keep wracking your head about this girl because you feel so close.

It’s an addicting feeling, but that’s the only options I know about. I still would just forget her.
 

Dropdagloves20

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Hey gents, sorry to revive, but just wanted to thank all of you that gave me advice on this.... and the impossible just happened. Fucked her on my kitchen counter not even 30 mins ago after I text her over to talk... mission complete, and you guys helped a ton...appreciate it!
 

Michal

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Hey gents, sorry to revive, but just wanted to thank all of you that gave me advice on this.... and the impossible just happened. Fucked her on my kitchen counter not even 30 mins ago after I text her over to talk... mission complete, and you guys helped a ton...appreciate it!
Good job, man!
No reason to apologize. Adding resolution to the thread is always helpful.
So in that regard, could you describe in few sentences how you pulled that off?

Also, now that you managed to get the arm in the sleeve, remember the precedent you set. Remember what she's looking for. If you want this to continue (you two being in the bed), be who you were when you pulled it of. No dinner dates etc.
 

BigPapa

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Glad we could be of help and congrats !

write here What you did step by step as i believe it would be a good story for other guys to read , as this is quite a popular topic :)
 

Dropdagloves20

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Welllll, I got really really lucky. I got called to take a delivery at work, not knowing that she was going to be there. I got there and she was looking really shitty at me, with hate you eyes, etc... and I just took all of your advice and played up that I didn't care and didn't notice. Once everyone left, her hate you face turned to tears, and I asked her what the issue was. She just said I'm really sorry for the way we ended, and it's hard for me to see you. I told her now wasn't the time or place, but if she wants to talk, she can meet me at my house on my break to discuss. She agreed, as soon as we walked in, I just started making out with her, and next thing I knew clothes were off and mission accomplished... She started talking about dating again, and I told her I had to go back to work, hahaha.... Revenge felt pretty awesome, not gonna lie.
 

BigPapa

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Just stick to the friends with benefits relationship , basically meeting at your place for sex and stuff like that . Nothing more than sex and maybe a little bit of cuddle after it if the sex was really good :)
 

HumanWhoLearns

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lol nice job. Although this sounds like it's going to end poorly, so I would've stayed far away.
 
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