Need help in handling social status

[Souvik99]

Hey GC
One thing I've noticed about myself is when I try to be social and interactive I end up being too nice to people and being too much of a jester/ funny guy and people don't respect me and keep tooling me and it kills all sex appeal,however when I try to be more serious / take no shit from people , I tend to isolate myself and people see me as rude , and socially awkward. How do I go about finding a balance where people see me as a cool ,fun guy they like to talk to but also respect and take seriously.

 

[sneaky_charm]

I have some of these issues myself. Balance your seriousness with your fun persona. Also, do not be present all the time. If you hang out with one group one day, hang out with another the next day. Be unpredictable. Do not have just one setting. Also, do not spend too long with a person. I find that connections are built when you're talking one on one. During group settings just beat the shit. Now, this area is Hector's, so read his articles on building social status and everything.

Also, read "48 Laws of Power" by Robert Greene. You don't have to get too cynical, but applying the techniques sparingly should work.

 

[Fuck This]

Hey GC
One thing I've noticed about myself is when I try to be social and interactive I end up being too nice to people and being too much of a jester/ funny guy and people don't respect me and keep tooling me and it kills all sex appeal,however when I try to be more serious / take no shit from people , I tend to isolate myself and people see me as rude , and socially awkward. How do I go about finding a balance where people see me as a cool ,fun guy they like to talk to but also respect and take seriously.

1) how do you connect with people? You need to have a connection where people see you as sincere. Generally this is through showing interest in that person's activities and values. They reciprocate and they get to see the REAL you. Then when you do make jokes, they can discern you are being funny, and not serious...

2) what are you an expert in, what do you take charge in? These times, and activities are where you are serious and direct in your words and mannerisms. Your actions and accomplishments will get you the respect you want when you demonstrate that by example. Might take a few events to be in charge of before people look to you for leadership. sometimes there is a Leadership Vacuum you can step into in a social group and make something happen. Usually that involves getting other people to take on small accomplishable tasks. Like planning a party with some acquaintances. After talking to them, you should know who is good at what. Tackle the biggest obstacle (usually a place) "Hey guys, I got an apartment with a pool for Saturday night. Jim, You still got that folding table? Betty, you still got those pool toys? I have a Grill. Jill call your Sorority sisters."

 

[Souvik99]

So should I refrain from making jokes ?

 

[Fuck This]

I think occasionally playing off of an amusing comment, or making a self deprecating remark is ok . but if you think you are TRYING to be funny too much it is likely you are. Instead try being warmer. Smile, make eye contact, greet people by name. As a rule, say hello to people when you come in a room, and say goodbye when you leave. It makes people feel valued, and helps your social momentum, as well as making other people feel good. People gravitate to people who make them feel good about themselves.

 

[Fuck This]

I was reading some articles and came across this one on developing Charisma.

I think that improving my charisma was what has given me the biggest boost in meeting people. It is important to see the role that Power plays with Warmth and Presence..