Should I use callback humour, open ended questions , or what to further the convo that leads to a date
Your trying too hard. There’s no witty remark you can make over text that will get you the date, it doesn’t work like in person, it’s harder to use techniques over a screen. I know from personal experience but there’s also an article Ricardus put out that talks about it
This is what I do. Just a blue print on my process of getting the date
“Hey, it’s biggus
”
“Hey biggus, it was nice meeting you!”
(now you have options)
1. How’s your day been going
2. How are you
3. What are you up to
4. Comment about something interesting you both know about; probably from your convo
from this point:
1. if you ask her how’s her day been going she will almost ALWAYS ask you about yours (and if she doesn’t, gonna be tricky getting her out)
Because she asked about your day, you have so much to work with from your own life (job, school, hobbies, social life)
2. How are you isn’t very good because it only give her feelings and most of the time she will just deflect by saying is “doing well”. But like 1, she will ask about you and this also gives you many options
3. What are you up to: she talks about whatever she’s doing at the moment. Just expand the convo threads on this, get her talking about something that matters to her
4. Commenting can be like a cheat code into getting into something important, your going straight into a specific thing that interests both of you. I should use it more often, just 1 2 3 all take less thought and therefore are easier.
You just keep cutting off old and expanding new threads until her convo fundamentals (emojis, punctuation, paragraph length, response time) show that she’s ready to be asked out
about half the time, the person’s fundamentals won’t change throughout the convo so if thats the case, probably ask her out on the 6th exchange of texts
Example:
1 your greeting
1 her greeting
2 your convo starter
2 her response to your conversation started
3 your response to her
3 her response to you
4 your response
4 her response
5 your response
5 her response
6 ask out text usually with a tie in to what your talking about to keep it relevant
6 she accepts/declines/maybe
Anything shorter than this and usually they don’t trust you
Anything longer than this and it’s not efficient, your giving her attention but getting nothing in return, is a waste of your time
if she says yes then it’s pretty self explanatory, select one of the days she’s free and pick the time and place
if she says no, just give up you won’t get anything with her
with maybe, you just say “ok, we’ll keep in touch” and in a few days just start a new convo, wait for it to end and then once it’s wrapped up, ask her out again
rinse and repeat
a few times I’ve had to do this stagger method where I had to ask her out 2-4 times before she said yes, would only advise being persistent if you really like her, otherwise just get on with your life.
But yeah, last bit of advice is really don’t try to flirt over text. Save that for the date where you can actually calibrate things.
And last last bit of advice, don’t sweat it. She’s just a girl in your phone, who has not done anything for you yet, literally no value. Just like how she is judging you testing your frame, you need to be skeptical about her.
aloof/not impressed goes a long way, it communicates your value
