Need Motivation to approach in Zurich

[Yaxir]

Boys, i have made it to a very nice country called Switzerland ( of-course, you might have your own opinion and i respect that but i really love this place ! )

I am currently working in Zurich

and holy shit, i recognized that i was the problem the entire time

I had my excuses in Pakistan ( muslim and conservative culture ) and Turkey ( muslim culture, language barrier ) but Switzerland is a multi-cultural, international country with MANY different people from different parts of the world

but i have terrible self-esteem when it comes to putting myself out there, ultra-stupid racial inferiority complex ( i think being brown is a bad thing to approach white girls - omg, just typing that felt stupid but i had to state it here so you guys kick my ass and show me the way ) and body insecurities ( 5.6' height, protruding belly on a skinny fat skeletal frame )

and so , i once again feel terrible, soul-crushing anxiety while approaching - i didn't really approach anyone here , i feel its way too shameful

the reason for this post is .. i just want to acknowledge that i now realize i am the problem myself - its my inner talk which keeps me from approaching

so what if a girl rejects me for my height / race / looks - i should just approach the next one ! but no, i feel so scared !

I am grateful that Chase and this community is awesome in spreading positivity and forward thinking about seduction, in an otherwise crazy world !

of course, your comments and advice are greatly welcome but i really wanted to finally let this out

thanks and much love to this community !

P.S : really struggling with openers, anything safe i can use to practise on girls i see for the first time ?

 

[Lover]

Kudos to you for moving so far and improving yourself. Last year I was in Geneve for a work-related trip. Beautiful city and great chocolate. How is Zurich?

I read in some of your past posts that you talked to guys and approached girls but the environment was working against you. Now you are in an enviornment that is not as conservative as Turkey or Pakistan, and yet the struggle is ongoing. Must be tough.

but i have terrible self-esteem when it comes to putting myself out there, ultra-stupid racial inferiority complex ( i think being brown is a bad thing to approach white girls - omg, just typing that felt stupid but i had to state it here so you guys kick my ass and show me the way ) and body insecurities ( 5.6' height, protruding belly on a skinny fat skeletal frame )

I hope others will chime in and answer how to work on the inferiority complex. All I can say is that you have a huge mental obstacle to overcome because of your upbringing. Right now, girls probably seem out of reach because you don't feel allowed to talk them. Is this correct?

Let's talk about your physical insecurities. I noticed you mentioned them before in the last two years. Are you doing any kind of workout? Like going to the gym, cardio or martial arts?

and so , i once again feel terrible, soul-crushing anxiety while approaching - i didn't really approach anyone here , i feel its way too shameful

Are you trying to approach during the day? The night? Which environments?

I struggled a lot with day game and night game myself, to the extent that I never really made any significant progress. Social circle and online always felt more right to me initially. I did approach dircetly and indirectly, but couldn't get pass small conversations. Always excuses. Too much tension. I dialed down and did something less risky like attending salsa classes and gym classes. Salsa and dancing classes in general are good to get used to talk to and touch girls without any pressure. And gym classes are good to get accustomed to being around girls with tight-fitting gym clothes.

When approaching feels shameful, I will advice you to develop your overall social skills first. Talk to girls without any expectations. Because right now, you probably feel shameful to just talk to girls about anything. Your goal should be "talk to girls about anything". Maybe even the weather for a start

 

[Spyce D]

Boys, i have made it to a very nice country called Switzerland ( of-course, you might have your own opinion and i respect that but i really love this place ! )

I am currently working in Zurich

and holy shit, i recognized that i was the problem the entire time

I had my excuses in Pakistan ( muslim and conservative culture ) and Turkey ( muslim culture, language barrier ) but Switzerland is a multi-cultural, international country with MANY different people from different parts of the world

but i have terrible self-esteem when it comes to putting myself out there, ultra-stupid racial inferiority complex ( i think being brown is a bad thing to approach white girls - omg, just typing that felt stupid but i had to state it here so you guys kick my ass and show me the way ) and body insecurities ( 5.6' height, protruding belly on a skinny fat skeletal frame )

and so , i once again feel terrible, soul-crushing anxiety while approaching - i didn't really approach anyone here , i feel its way too shameful

the reason for this post is .. i just want to acknowledge that i now realize i am the problem myself - its my inner talk which keeps me from approaching

so what if a girl rejects me for my height / race / looks - i should just approach the next one ! but no, i feel so scared !

I am grateful that Chase and this community is awesome in spreading positivity and forward thinking about seduction, in an otherwise crazy world !

of course, your comments and advice are greatly welcome but i really wanted to finally let this out

thanks and much love to this community !

P.S : really struggling with openers, anything safe i can use to practise on girls i see for the first time ?

If I was in a western country .....I would have been 10x more bold than now lol.

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

Honestly it depends a lot on what kind of South Asian look you have...

• if your fitness, fashion and accent are dialed in, you can be a very sexy stereotype and have an easier time picking up than local men.
• if you come across like you just left a call center in Delhi, weird ungroomed beard, khakis and a thick accent, it might be an uphill battle.

If you're the latter, transform yourself into the former. Take Matador for example, he had the stereotype of the "sexy South Asian man" on point.

James Matador (Stan Tayi)

James Matador Stan Tayi biography/ wiki with personal data, trademark advice, quotes, photos, proof of expertise and list of authored books and coaching.

www.datingskillsreview.com

 

[James D]

hey @Yaxir ,

Zurich's great!

I was there for one day only to see my aunt but I did approach girls for fun and had some excellent responses.

One of them is coming to my city in September.

We've been texting and who knows, it might turn into something if we get to meet up.

I'm telling you that because I'm brown too

And had no problems approaching girls in Zurich.

i think being brown is a bad thing to approach white girls - omg, just typing that felt stupid but i had to state it here so you guys kick my ass and show me the way

Your invitation for ass kicking shows that you will move on from this erroneous mindset of viewing your brown skin as an obstacle.

So kuddos to that

Now, as for approaching...

It's no easy feat. It's scary and intimidating.

First, make a commitment to improve your fundamentals.

Check out the Fantastic Fundamentals series on GC TV.

Seriously commit to improving them. Make that an on going priority.

Especially your fashion, which is maybe the easiest fix of all fundamentals. You literally just have to walk in a clothing store and come out of it with new clothes.

A killer, high status outfit can dramatically boos the reception you get when opening.

So I'd focus on that.

Put together a killer outfit and go out.

Now, as for approaching girls, focus on one thing only: showing up.

Measure your success by how often you showed up.

Walked up to a girl, mumbled an opener while shaking convulsively inside and she dismisses you?

Fuck yeah, at least you showed up

Congratulate yourself for that.

At least you're pushing, one step at a time, towards the life you want.

Hell, I wonder if approach anxiety ever completely goes away... I still feel it, sometimes intensely.

I do it anyway.

And one day, and that day might not be too far, you'll grab your balls and approach a beautiful girl while fighting through the usual heart attack, expecting it to end in disaster.

But to your great surprise, she looks back at you with a huge grin on her face and responds enthusiastically.

Taken aback that she didn't blow you off in the most inhumane way, you piece up a conversation.

Your lips might even be trembling but she doesn't seem to notice. She seems a little nervous herself but really glad that you came up.

You propose to meet up for coffee and she heartily agrees.

You get her number, send her a text on WhatsApp.

She responds.

You take a look at her profile picture. She's fucking gorgeous. You wonder to yourself : "Did I just approach THIS girl and she responded positively and now we're setting up a FREAKING date?"

Hell yeah.

Your life won't ever be the same again.

 

[Mattia]

Boys, i have made it to a very nice country called Switzerland ( of-course, you might have your own opinion and i respect that but i really love this place ! )

I am currently working in Zurich

and holy shit, i recognized that i was the problem the entire time

I had my excuses in Pakistan ( muslim and conservative culture ) and Turkey ( muslim culture, language barrier ) but Switzerland is a multi-cultural, international country with MANY different people from different parts of the world

but i have terrible self-esteem when it comes to putting myself out there, ultra-stupid racial inferiority complex ( i think being brown is a bad thing to approach white girls - omg, just typing that felt stupid but i had to state it here so you guys kick my ass and show me the way ) and body insecurities ( 5.6' height, protruding belly on a skinny fat skeletal frame )

and so , i once again feel terrible, soul-crushing anxiety while approaching - i didn't really approach anyone here , i feel its way too shameful

the reason for this post is .. i just want to acknowledge that i now realize i am the problem myself - its my inner talk which keeps me from approaching

so what if a girl rejects me for my height / race / looks - i should just approach the next one ! but no, i feel so scared !

I am grateful that Chase and this community is awesome in spreading positivity and forward thinking about seduction, in an otherwise crazy world !

of course, your comments and advice are greatly welcome but i really wanted to finally let this out

thanks and much love to this community !

P.S : really struggling with openers, anything safe i can use to practise on girls i see for the first time ?

Hi Yaxir, I'm also in Zurich. Are you still approaching girls in the city?

I would be down to do cold approach sessions together

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

I think your beliefs system is your biggest obstacle

You have limiting beliefs that aren’t true

And there are two ways I know you can get through the inferiority complex

1. You can work with a clinician who knows how to break down self defeating beliefs

2. Or you can just go out and approach and the beliefs will naturally fade away once you start getting dates

#1 requires money to pay a clinician but you don’t have to get your hands dirty

#2 is free but requires hard work dedication and perseverance even more so than regular approaching because the self defeating beliefs will make it harder for you to get dates, you may give up 30 approaches in because the experience is unpleasant. the negative thoughts make it more unpleasant than it needs to be

When I first started appproaching, I had to work through my own limiting beliefs, I didn’t know if I could get a date, so I’ve done option 2. It works but most people aren’t willing to go through that much pain

currently working on #1 because I’ve got some final thoughts I need to clean up that can’t be fixed by approaching

I suggest you take a look at chase’s newbie assignment; it’s in the beginners forum. It’s a way to gradually exposure yourself to your fear so the steps are manageable

good luck, maybe you’ll find a pawg

Biggus