Need some guidance desperately

[Raiden@]

Hey lads how are you doing , I actually need you guys to help me solve a problem , I am pretty sure you guys would help me out and I am gonna need as many opinions as possible .



So I haven’t approached any girl ever in my life , the only thing that are progressing is my fundies,fashion ,voice,etc .



Now here is the main problem ,I have been reading GC religiously for almost a year and a half , there is of course improvement on my part where I am understanding women in a better way ( or maybe not ) .



Now at this I am getting overwhelmed with the number of articles posted on the site ( I have no problems with GC writers, infact I have immense respect for them ) . There is this intense need to read every article on GC and make notes.Whenver I see an article I look at it and say “yeah, I am gonna need this later “. And I start reading them or make notes or sometimes maybe I just transcript it and use a text to audio converter .



The psychological reason that I see is that maybe I am afraid to fail and which is why I am taking every other article and making notes ,studying it religiously.This is only destroying my focus and keeping me away from my other stuff .FOMO of knowledge ,what if I miss on that , will I be stupid to ignore the article



The second problem I have noticed is that I am a perfectionist/procrastinator . I believe that my first approach should be perfect .And I keep on taking more than I could handle .Let me tell you how my mind works



Say I am reading articles by Alek on gambits ,but then my mind drifts off to conversation ,where my mind say hey I lack social skills so I need these material to know what to do and then I go and read them with the intention that I will READ all of them ,because guess what “I may need that later “. And then maybe I will somehow find myself reading articles by Varoon , thinking yeah his perspective is really deep , if only I get this perspective beforehand it will make my life easy .Or maybe I just follow the links and that links lead to me some other articles and then to other articles and so on..



PLEASE ! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ! someone help me out , what are the stuff I should focus on ,how do I escape the FOMO of knowledge and How do I escape the guilt of not reading any articles again. What's wrong with me ? how do I stop overthinking . I would genuinely appreciate some guidance , I am desperate for it



P.S.-Another thing that just struck me was I always wanted to be ladies man before discovering GC , and maybe that is why I am not ready to let go of it , help me let of it , this has been taking a lot of my mental space and affecting my other daily tasks

 

[Zoro]

I understand how you're feeling. The paralysis is from too much reading and no action. The material is meant to be used WITH action. You really don't need most of the stuff you read right now.

I would set aside everything you read, and empty your cup. Meditate.

Then you need some action.

You need to get the very basics down first. And that is approaching.

You need to walk up to a girl and say hi. If you start ruminating on how you read you should say XYZ or ABC or whatever, then pick something, but don't spend more than 5 mins right now deciding. Do 5-10 approaches, and THEN think about what happened.

Then when you reflect on what happened you find specific articles to help out with that specific thing. That is one way to not get overloaded.

The second problem I have noticed is that I am a perfectionist/procrastinator . I believe that my first approach should be perfect .And I keep on taking more than I could handle .Let me tell you how my mind works

Read this book, How to be an Imperfectionist by Stephen Guise. Here's a link.

 

[Just a Man]

My suggestion would be to accept that you can't master everything theoretically before ever attempting anything in practice. You're likely to need to merge learning theory with getting practice in an overlapping process. In my case, I found that I wanted to get better at the earliest stages first (e.g. opening) and accept that some subsequent stuff (e.g. turning a date into a lay) would take longer. Failure is a great teacher if you can analyse what happened and learn from it.

 

[Wolfie]

I understand how you're feeling. The paralysis is from too much reading and no action. The material is meant to be used WITH action. You really don't need most of the stuff you read right now.

I would set aside everything you read, and empty your cup. Meditate.

Then you need some action.

You need to get the very basics down first. And that is approaching.

You need to walk up to a girl and say hi. If you start ruminating on how you read you should say XYZ or ABC or whatever, then pick something, but don't spend more than 5 mins right now deciding. Do 5-10 approaches, and THEN think about what happened.

Then when you reflect on what happened you find specific articles to help out with that specific thing. That is one way to not get overloaded.



Read this book, How to be an Imperfectionist by Stephen Guise. Here's a link.

Thanks man really appreciate it

 

[ElderPrice]

Lol did you read the articles that discuss “mental masturbation”?

Suggestions:

1. There’s way more knowledge in the field than in articles. That’s where your FOMO should be directed.

2. Stop reading articles and start meeting women in real life immediately.

3. Abide by I think it’s the 80-20 rule. If you can’t resist the urge to read articles, then you have to at least commit to for every 2 hours you spend reading articles, you must spend 8 hours in the field.

4. You probably have avoided approaching due to crippling anxiety. Find the “Newbie Assignment” on these boards and get started.

 

[POB]

2. Stop reading articles and start meeting women in real life immediately.

THIS ^^^^

Find the “Newbie Assignment” on these boards and get started.

and THIS ^^^^

 

[Starboy]

I can relate to you I had spent a lot of time reading articles too instead of taking action and getting bogged down on what's the perfect technique/opener/what to say etc.

You don't need to read all of these articles all you need are some basics. Some authors aren't going to be helpful to read from right now. You won't understand their gambits or specific techniques. They're gonna write about stuff that's just gonna put you in your head and make you worry about dumb shit like FeMAle StATe CoNTrol or SoCIal FrAMe.

In a article called the Patchwork Seducer Chase wrote about taking methods from different teachers and trying to stick them all together and that's what fucks you up. Just pick one author/writer ideally one whose concepts are simple to grasp for beginners and implement his process/teachings. It can be Chase/Hector/Varoon/Tony etc. Pick one person to learn from,stop reading more articles,and just learn from your own experience.

Don't worry about trying to be great or do it correctly your focus should be on trying.
You're gonna fuck up/look weird in front of girls you approach nearby bystanders and make mistakes and that's totally fine. Your priority should just be on learning to make approaches.

 

[Wolfie]

I can relate to you I had spent a lot of time reading articles too instead of taking action and getting bogged down on what's the perfect technique/opener/what to say etc.

You don't need to read all of these articles all you need are some basics. Some authors aren't going to be helpful to read from right now. You won't understand their gambits or specific techniques. They're gonna write about stuff that's just gonna put you in your head and make you worry about dumb shit like FeMAle StATe CoNTrol or SoCIal FrAMe.

In a article called the Patchwork Seducer Chase wrote about taking methods from different teachers and trying to stick them all together and that's what fucks you up. Just pick one author/writer ideally one whose concepts are simple to grasp for beginners and implement his process/teachings. It can be Chase/Hector/Varoon/Tony etc. Pick one person to learn from,stop reading more articles,and just learn from your own experience.

Don't worry about trying to be great or do it correctly your focus should be on trying.
You're gonna fuck up/look weird in front of girls you approach nearby bystanders and make mistakes and that's totally fine. Your priority should just be on learning to make approaches.

Thank you so much for your time and knowledge, appreciate it.

 

[fog]

They're gonna write about stuff that's just gonna put you in your head and make you worry about dumb shit like FeMAle StATe CoNTrol or SoCIal FrAMe.

> says social frame is dumb
> never studied it
> his major sticking points stem from poor social frame

 

[Starboy]

> says social frame is dumb
> never studied it
> his major sticking points stem from poor social frame

It's mental masturbation. Would rather prioritize my time developing that's actually more important and neccesary like fundamentals and vibe.

 

[fog]

Would rather prioritize my time developing that's actually more important and neccesary like fundamentals and vibe.

thats a part of social frame.