- Joined
- Jun 16, 2013
- Messages
- 1,897
Whats up forum peeps! Feels like its been forever since I've wrote a FR, due to work, school, meeting women 
, etc. shit you probably don't care about, though it feels good to post again. I've been learning a lot with women lately and feel like I jumped to a new level in progress by having a much improved vibe and comfort zone (though not skyrocketing from where I was it could be considered vastly improved from where I was 6 months ago). Stoked nonetheless. Today I'm reporting a pickup and a separate date (although both happened on the same day) with this girl. This report is the actual pick up and I will report the date later. My goals when going out were to do one scary approach (girl with parents, friends, socially pressured location), try and touch every girl I meet (not including pre open), and stay as present and in the moment as possible.
I was leaving an urban retail store in the mall, one that caters to the black urban population, after looking for a belt and while walking out this super cute black girl (definitely from the hood but classy) in a sundress comes walking in and we lock eyes and beam sexy smiles at each other. Similar to this but not as sexy or promiscuous fundamentally (for obvious reasons).
My fundamentals are getting tighter so I feel this had a lot to do with the initial preopen. She goes up to the counter and I pretend to check out some jeans very non-chalant. She gets done talking to the guy and when she gets close to me I very naturally look up, smile, and start walking beside her while I open, "you know, you can't look at me like that without at least saying hi." She gets very exuberant in her vibe and we exchange small talk with a very good, I want to say decently sexual energy. Very soon into the interaction she asks me my age and tells me that I'm hot. I tell her semi sarcastically that she just made my day and then ask her what she doing. She replies she just finished applying for jobs (my guess was she was finished as soon as she met me, so good sign of investment?) and I tell her to come walk around the mall with me.
At this point were walking directionless through the mall enjoying each others energy. It was kind of cool, as we were walking it felt like we were almost magnetically being pulled together so we were walking really close with my hand brushing against hers at times while looking at each others eyes. Thinking back maybe I should have created a high point and started holding her hand as a "joke" (a sexy joke not a comic joke) to test her comfort levels/investment. During this walk I told her I have never been with a black girl but it has always been a fantasy of mine and not to judge me for it. She immediately told me she had never been with a "white boy" but had it as a fantasy too. We get close to an exit and she says her car is there and should probably get going to pick up her kid
(she's 20, I swear if your a black girl from the hood your guaranteed to have a kid by age 25, like how hard is it to put a fucking condom on guys? [I don't have a problem with having kids but all the inner city urban "accidents" that come about, grow up in households that the, usually single, mom can't support herself in. She doesn't believe in herself and then the kids don't believe in themselves and then think their destiny is doomed to being a hoodrat gangster/drug dealer, thus not bettering the world. It's soo aggravating/sad seeing lives being manifested into victim mentalities] Sorry for the protracted rant).
I convince her to sit down on the couch by the exit with me which she happily/easily complies. I lead her to the couch by the small of her back and we sit down comfortably close to one another.
I proceed to deep dive, banter, and really just vibe with her. I could have been a better conversationalist at some parts but I realize this will develop over time. After some deep diving I get to know what inspires her, why she has ambition, and what she feels her purpose in life is and it all revolved around her kid. I could tell that she was being genuine and not just saying it to impress me (although she did it for that reason too). The reason I bring this up is because I noticed she's not like the average or stereotypical baby momma that I was ranting about so this inspired some attraction on my level.
A note, while conversing sitting down I noticed that she had her arms crossed the majority of the time and this bothered me. It may have been because it was the most comfortable place to put her arms since we were so close together or maybe she didn't feel comfortable idk. Is this a bad sign? or was it not a big deal nonverbally? Either way I tried to get her to uncross her arms by changing subjects and vibe. It eventually worked.
We talked on the couch for about 15 minutes before I got her number and agreed to meet up later that night to grab dinner. This is what I have questions about on handling appropriately. Pre number grab she was very excited about grabbing dinner in beautiful downtown rather than going to the mcdonalds drive thru for a date like most black guys do. This worried me because I thought she might be putting me in the boyfriend zone and I decided to actively and bluntly disqualify myself for that position.
Me: "look I need to tell you something that I don't want you to take the wrong way."
Her: "sure what?"
Me: "Before you think Im taking you out to some 3 course steak dinner and get your expectations up, were not"
Her: " haha I wasn't expecting that!"
Me: "Im not saying this to be rude Neka, but I'm really not looking for a relationship right now. If I meet a girl and we hit it off and it turns into a relationship that a different story but I'm not pushing for anything."
Her: "Right I understand you just aint looking for nothing to serious yet I see you" *black girl talk lol
Me: "Honestly I see us more as lovers if anything and by that I mean equals, so were going to split the bill for dinner tonight."
Her: "Right no that's cool. I was expecting that anyway." *she relates this somehow blah blah blah.
It was more socially adroit then that but I don't know if it would have been better to address this when I did or when the actual bill for the meal came hours later.
Anyway we parted I half hugged and kissed her on the cheek good bye.
, etc. shit you probably don't care about, though it feels good to post again. I've been learning a lot with women lately and feel like I jumped to a new level in progress by having a much improved vibe and comfort zone (though not skyrocketing from where I was it could be considered vastly improved from where I was 6 months ago). Stoked nonetheless. Today I'm reporting a pickup and a separate date (although both happened on the same day) with this girl. This report is the actual pick up and I will report the date later. My goals when going out were to do one scary approach (girl with parents, friends, socially pressured location), try and touch every girl I meet (not including pre open), and stay as present and in the moment as possible.I was leaving an urban retail store in the mall, one that caters to the black urban population, after looking for a belt and while walking out this super cute black girl (definitely from the hood but classy) in a sundress comes walking in and we lock eyes and beam sexy smiles at each other. Similar to this but not as sexy or promiscuous fundamentally (for obvious reasons).
My fundamentals are getting tighter so I feel this had a lot to do with the initial preopen. She goes up to the counter and I pretend to check out some jeans very non-chalant. She gets done talking to the guy and when she gets close to me I very naturally look up, smile, and start walking beside her while I open, "you know, you can't look at me like that without at least saying hi." She gets very exuberant in her vibe and we exchange small talk with a very good, I want to say decently sexual energy. Very soon into the interaction she asks me my age and tells me that I'm hot
. I tell her semi sarcastically that she just made my day and then ask her what she doing. She replies she just finished applying for jobs (my guess was she was finished as soon as she met me, so good sign of investment?) and I tell her to come walk around the mall with me. At this point were walking directionless through the mall enjoying each others energy. It was kind of cool, as we were walking it felt like we were almost magnetically being pulled together so we were walking really close with my hand brushing against hers at times while looking at each others eyes. Thinking back maybe I should have created a high point and started holding her hand as a "joke" (a sexy joke not a comic joke) to test her comfort levels/investment. During this walk I told her I have never been with a black girl but it has always been a fantasy of mine and not to judge me for it. She immediately told me she had never been with a "white boy" but had it as a fantasy too. We get close to an exit and she says her car is there and should probably get going to pick up her kid
(she's 20, I swear if your a black girl from the hood your guaranteed to have a kid by age 25, like how hard is it to put a fucking condom on guys? [I don't have a problem with having kids but all the inner city urban "accidents" that come about, grow up in households that the, usually single, mom can't support herself in. She doesn't believe in herself and then the kids don't believe in themselves and then think their destiny is doomed to being a hoodrat gangster/drug dealer, thus not bettering the world. It's soo aggravating/sad seeing lives being manifested into victim mentalities] Sorry for the protracted rant).
I convince her to sit down on the couch by the exit with me which she happily/easily complies. I lead her to the couch by the small of her back and we sit down comfortably close to one another.
I proceed to deep dive, banter, and really just vibe with her. I could have been a better conversationalist at some parts but I realize this will develop over time. After some deep diving I get to know what inspires her, why she has ambition, and what she feels her purpose in life is and it all revolved around her kid. I could tell that she was being genuine and not just saying it to impress me (although she did it for that reason too). The reason I bring this up is because I noticed she's not like the average or stereotypical baby momma that I was ranting about so this inspired some attraction on my level.
A note, while conversing sitting down I noticed that she had her arms crossed the majority of the time and this bothered me. It may have been because it was the most comfortable place to put her arms since we were so close together or maybe she didn't feel comfortable idk. Is this a bad sign? or was it not a big deal nonverbally? Either way I tried to get her to uncross her arms by changing subjects and vibe. It eventually worked.
We talked on the couch for about 15 minutes before I got her number and agreed to meet up later that night to grab dinner. This is what I have questions about on handling appropriately. Pre number grab she was very excited about grabbing dinner in beautiful downtown rather than going to the mcdonalds drive thru for a date like most black guys do. This worried me because I thought she might be putting me in the boyfriend zone and I decided to actively and bluntly disqualify myself for that position.
Me: "look I need to tell you something that I don't want you to take the wrong way."
Her: "sure what?"
Me: "Before you think Im taking you out to some 3 course steak dinner and get your expectations up, were not"
Her: " haha I wasn't expecting that!"
Me: "Im not saying this to be rude Neka, but I'm really not looking for a relationship right now. If I meet a girl and we hit it off and it turns into a relationship that a different story but I'm not pushing for anything."
Her: "Right I understand you just aint looking for nothing to serious yet I see you" *black girl talk lol
Me: "Honestly I see us more as lovers if anything and by that I mean equals, so were going to split the bill for dinner tonight."
Her: "Right no that's cool. I was expecting that anyway." *she relates this somehow blah blah blah.
It was more socially adroit then that but I don't know if it would have been better to address this when I did or when the actual bill for the meal came hours later.
Anyway we parted I half hugged and kissed her on the cheek good bye.
