Netflix and Chill and The Boyfriend Zone

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

I didn’t know what I was doing and now I’m this girl’s boyfriend without having had sex with her. To me that doesn’t even count as a boyfriend but she’s says I’m her boyfriend and she’s crazy about me. She really loves me and gets emotional about me at times. I’m just sitting here confused as fuck. On our 3rd date she asked me to ask her to be my girlfriend in front of her friends at college with a sign, flowers, and chocolates, and I did it a couple days later. I think that’s why she’s in love with me. We’ve been on 4 dates and I’ve very physical with her, we’re practically all over each other whenever we meet. The farthest I’ve gone is fingering her. She’s coming over to my place today and we’re gonna watch a movie, probably in my bed. I think the obvious conclusion is sex but what if she doesn’t want to go that far? How should I react if she refuses sex? I’m thinking I could respond to her texts less frequently after the date and maybe that will put on the pressure on her end? I know it may be pessimistic preparing for if she refuses sex but I want to be prepared for all outcomes.

 

[Zoro]

You're learning a valuable lesson here brother. The importance of frame and leading. She's in control and you're just watching it all happen.

It's hard to understand the nuances of it until you experience it, so don't feel bad about being in this situation. I think most men go through this experience. I know I have.

The good news is that if you learn about female psychology and good game from a place like this site, you're well equipped to actually learn the lesson and do much better in the future.

I would say the elements that are needed to avoid this type of situation, is knowing what you want very clearly, knowing how to have boundaires and hold your frame, and knowing how to lead women in a masculine role.

I would use the search tool on the main site and look for articles related to your situation. The relationship advice from GC is the best on the internet IMO

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

You're learning a valuable lesson here brother. The important of frame and leading. She's in control and you're just watching it all happen.

It's hard to understand the nuances of it until you experience it, so don't feel bad about being in this situation. I think most men go through this experience. I know I have.

The good news is that if you learn about female psychology and good game from a place like this site, you're well equipped to actually learn the lesson and do much better in the future.

I would say the elements that are needed to avoid this type of situation, is knowing what you want very clearly, knowing how to have boundaires and hold your frame, and knowing how to lead women in a masculine role.

I would use the search tool on the main site and look for articles related to your situation. The relationship advice from GC is the best on the internet IMO

I agree, this is a lesson. I should have agreed to do the girlfriend proposal after we have had sex. because I did otherwise, she now holds all the cards

 

[Conquistador]

I agree, this is a lesson. I should have agreed to do the girlfriend proposal after we have had sex.

Did you finger her before or after she became your girlfriend?
I hope you at least did something physical first.

because I did otherwise, she now holds all the cards

Not necessarily. Don't think like that.

The most important thing is to take control of your feelings, thoughts, and actions. If she's leading you neither of you will be happy. And if she won't submit to your frames you should probably pull out of this as gently as possible, even if it hurts both of you in the short term.

 

[Conquistador]

she’s says I’m her boyfriend

What do you say?

she’s crazy about me.

Can you elaborate on that, maybe give some examples of behaviors that demonstrate that?

She really loves me

Do you love her? Will you love her more over time?

and gets emotional about me at times.

I've seen a similar reaction before actually from a girl in language class (see my journal).

If you don't do something with her initial feelings, they'll probably fade in a few months. Build a relationship. Grow together and have experiences together.

I’m just sitting here confused as fuck.

Priority #1 needs to be getting your hands on the wheel. Figure out where you want to go with this. You are the man here.
My father is hardly an apostle or exemplar of strong masculinity but he always said that no relationship lasts unless the man has a clear idea of what he's doing.

On our 3rd date she asked me to ask her to be my girlfriend in front of her friends at college with a sign, flowers, and chocolates, and I did it a couple days later.

You should have held off a little but don't sweat it. She was essentially giving you a chase frame, so you should have implicitly accepted it (without being gamey).

I think the obvious conclusion is sex but what if she doesn’t want to go that far? How should I react if she refuses sex?

If she has little or no experience don't push her. She'll open up when she's ready.

Otherwise, if that's what you think, you need to honestly and firmly make it clear that you aren't interested in having a girlfriend without sex.

I’m thinking I could respond to her texts less frequently after the date and maybe that will put on the pressure on her end?

DO NOT PLAY GAMES. This will not help, nor will it come across as strong or dominant. You are the man, be direct about it. Gentle but firm. Mailed fist in a velvet glove.
She will lose respect over time if you aren't honest and confident.
Equally however, don't be in a hurry to reply. If that's what you think then you should act like it.

I know it may be pessimistic preparing for if she refuses sex but I want to be prepared for all outcomes.

Not at all. Real men are prepared.

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

What do you say?

Can you elaborate on that, maybe give some examples of behaviors that demonstrate that?

Do you love her? Will you love her more over time?

I've seen a similar reaction before actually from a girl in language class (see my journal).

If you don't do something with her initial feelings, they'll probably fade in a few months. Build a relationship. Grow together and have experiences together.

Priority #1 needs to be getting your hands on the wheel. Figure out where you want to go with this. You are the man here.
My father is hardly an apostle or exemplar of strong masculinity but he always said that no relationship lasts unless the man has a clear idea of what he's doing.

You should have held off a little but don't sweat it. She was essentially giving you a chase frame, so you should have implicitly accepted it (without being gamey).

If she has little or no experience don't push her. She'll open up when she's ready.

Otherwise, if that's what you think, you need to honestly and firmly make it clear that you aren't interested in having a girlfriend without sex.

DO NOT PLAY GAMES. This will not help, nor will it come across as strong or dominant. You are the man, be direct about it. Gentle but firm. Mailed fist in a velvet glove.
She will lose respect over time if you aren't honest and confident.
Equally however, don't be in a hurry to reply. If that's what you think then you should act like it.

Not at all. Real men are prepared.

So like ten minutes into the movie we fucked for two hours. I don’t know I was gonna last that long but it was fun. At first she was hesitant to do it but I made her comfortable. She said she was inexperienced so I think that’s why she was nervous. I didn’t finish so do I have ED? What’s going on there?

 

[Skills]

Yeah is on you, as wick says frame and leadership lacking... if she reduse sex say... "you know the difference between a friendship and a relationship? " wait for her answer... she wont be able to answer correctly... then you say. "Intimacy"

 

[Zoro]

I didn’t finish so do I have ED? What’s going on there?

I highly recommend every single man read the book called Multi-Orgasmic Man. Also @StrayDog wrote up a great post about the same topic. I'll link it.

How to Draw Orgasms up Your Spine

Draw Orgasms Up Your Spine For Self Mastery, Well Being, And Pleasure I have been receiving a number of questions regarding the cultivation and circulation of sexual energy in the body, so I have decided to make this post in hopes that it can serve as a practical primer on the subject, and...

www.skilledseducer.com

Knowing this stuff will help with ED, and you will learn some knowledge that can change your life.

So like ten minutes into the movie we fucked for two hours. I don’t know I was gonna last that long but it was fun. At first she was hesitant to do it but I made her comfortable. She said she was inexperienced so I think that’s why she was nervous.

That's good that you guys are a real couple now lol

Let us know how the rest of the relationship goes. Is this your first relationship?

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

I highly recommend every single man read the book called Multi-Orgasmic Man. Also @StrayDog wrote up a great post about the same topic. I'll link it.

How to Draw Orgasms up Your Spine

Draw Orgasms Up Your Spine For Self Mastery, Well Being, And Pleasure I have been receiving a number of questions regarding the cultivation and circulation of sexual energy in the body, so I have decided to make this post in hopes that it can serve as a practical primer on the subject, and...

www.skilledseducer.com

Knowing this stuff will help with ED, and you will learn some knowledge that can change your life.


That's good that you guys are a real couple now lol

Let us know how the rest of the relationship goes. Is this your first relationship?

This is my first real relationship yeah, past girls didn’t count.

Do you think porn could be causing not being able to finish? I’ll check out that post you sent.

And yeah I’ll keep the forum updated on this, I mean I’m assuming there’s gonna be conflicts within the relationship as there are with every relationship. Girls chase doesn’t end when you get a girl friend, then you gotta focus on maintaining the relationship.

 

[Zoro]

Do you think porn could be causing not being able to finish? I’ll check out that post you sent.

Yes definitely. Happened to me. Blessing in disguise though, taught me how to have an orgasm without ejaculation. And that is a bigger deal than it seems, it's the key to a whole energy transmutation practice. You know how people talk about not having sex before the big game or fight? It's the ejaculation NOT the sex or orgasm that is the problem. You actually could benefit from sex and orgasm before a big performance.

And yeah I’ll keep the forum updated on this, I mean I’m assuming there’s gonna be conflicts within the relationship as there are with every relationship. Girls chase doesn’t end when you get a girl friend, then you gotta focus on maintaining the relationship.

Look into GC's archive. There are TONS of great relationship articles.