PEOPLE
Me: 30 y/o Asian, dressed in some shabby gym attire, but the sleeveless shirt shows off some nice shoulder/tricep muscles
Her: 21 y/o Asian, from Thailand, student, wearing decent face makeup, really pretty face, average athleisureware
VENUES
Meet: a rock climbing gym I frequent
2nd Meet: at the same gym
Date: a restaurant near the gym
BACKGROUND
I've hit some good momentum with Cold Approach recently.
When I started doing it seriously in January 2022, my stretch goal was to acquire 1 new number per week. And going out to Cold Approach was a **big deal**. I had to prepare an entire weekend day for it, spend hours thinking about it beforehand, spend hours walking around, and spend hours decompressing.
This past week, I managed to get at least 1 number per day for the entire week, with a that-evening date, and another next-day date, and a same-day date, and with one day where I got 3 numbers in a single day out of 9 approaches. So although there were no lays that previous week, the funnel was the widest it's ever been, and my confidence and smoothness during Cold Approach are definitely at their apex.
THE MEET
I met this girl on a Sunday evening of that week, where I decided to take a social rest, and do some rock climbing rather than hitting the streets for more night-time day-game.
While climbing, I naturally scouted the gym to see if there's anyone I'd like to meet. I spotted one cute Asian girl at the other end of the gym. One thing I noticed immediately was that her proportions were interesting. Most girls in gyms wear low-cut tops with pushup bras that let you see exactly their breast size. This girl wore a pretty not-revealing top, but her breast area was really large and bulging. So it at first almost looks like she's a little chubby, but on second look, you realize her stomach is flat, so rather, she's extremely well-endowed (natural pornstar E cups, vanishingly rare on an Asian), and trying to hide it.
This was a pretty crowded Sunday night, and there were a lot of people. I ambled around the gym for a bit, keeping her in the corner of my eye, looking for the right opening/angle to talk to her. Annoyingly, 2-3 other unattractive asian guys were "taking their chances" with her, and I had to wait 20+ minutes before she freed up from their conversations (destined for friendzone).
Finally, when she was free, I beelined to her, then smoothly approached her from a diagonal and complimented her on her tattoo. I love when girls have a tattoo, it makes for such an easy and natural way to open them. She explained what the tattoo meant, and I cold read she was from Thailand based on her look and her accent, and we chit-chatted a bit more about the tattoo that I want. Unfortunately, the conversation stalled for just a bit, and she bailed out, saying she was leaving now. I just said okay.
THE CLOSE
Luckily, as she was leaving, she forgot her shoes, and walked back in my direction. I smoothly re-introed "oh, you forgot something". She said yes. I then just hail-mary'd this, and said "hey, want to exchange numbers?" She said sure, and I typed my number into her phone (since my phone was in the locker). This would be the first of many passed-by-the-skin-of-my-teeth interactions with her.
After this number close, I actually decided to order some more expensive lululemon style shorts/sleeveless tops, to improve my gym appearance for future climbing pickups.
FOLLOWUP
Unfortunately, typing your number into a girl's phone is sub-optimal, because you're at her mercy for her to actually text you back (and girls don't like to feel like they're the ones making the effort). On the other hand, if she does actually text you, you have some solid initial investment from her.
She did text me back that night "hey it's ____
".
I waited til the next morning, and asked if she wants to meet for a coffee or bite sometime. She deflected this "attempted escalation" towards a 1:1 setting, and countered "sure, we can get a bite after climbing next time". So I figured this lead was going cold, since she wanted me as a "gym friend". I politely asked her when she's climbing next, not thinking much about it. She gave me some times, I replied, but she went cold on me.
Fast forward to next week, I decide to go climbing again just before gym closing, to get my head off of work. I had basically forgotten her up to this point, but I ran into her just as she was getting dressed to leave. I chatted with her and another mutual acquaintance for a bit, then went on my way to climbing.
Very surprisingly, she and that other guy stuck around and watched me climb/chatted with me for the next 20 minutes. Her attitude towards me was totally different this time: She was cheering me on as I did a hard problem, and giving me compliments about how strong I was, and giving me lots of smiles. I have two theories as to why the this second interaction was better:
1. She noticed my fingers are very long and slender, and I casually explained that I'm a musician. Which she thought was really cool. She asked if that's my profession, and I explained I needed to make money so I work at some fancy finance job. I think she admired that I was a mix of alternative (musician), but also have my shit together (finance).
2. Maybe the new fancy athleisure ware shorts just looked really good? haha
I casually asked her about the mutual acquaintance, and found out he's younger, and she only sees him as a friend, and she's not dating anyone right now.
At the end, we all 3 walked out together, and she asked me if I could maybe be "her spectator" this coming Friday when there's a climbing competition at this gym, and you can bring one guest. I said I'd look into it, and I said goodbye to the 2 of them, they were taking a train in the opposite direction, so I couldn't smoothly tag along without seeming creepy/try-hard.
I felt pretty good about her afterwards, and played a game of text-chicken with her. I knew that if I texted her, I'd be double texting her, since she went cold after my last message. So I resisted texting her afterwards, and just a few hours later after midnight, she texted me with a smile giving me event info for Friday.
I had plans that Friday, so I deflected (also good to show that I'm not too available), and asked if she could meet after work for a coffee/bite sometime later this week instead. She responded positively. I made the mistake of suggesting we meet the next day after work (I totally forgot that she texted me previously that she was planning to climb on this day). She started steering the date again in the direction of climbing together-then getting food afterwards, and I fell into the trap (I knew climbing together wouldn't be the best odds, especially since there will be a ton of other simp guys there she knows that will be interrupting our time). It was kind of too late to say I can't make it tomorrow anymore, so I decided to just go on the climbing date... (at least this time with the agreement that we'd get drinks/snacks afterwards).
FIRST DATE
So I pushed the climbing date as early as possible after work, so we'd have more time for "after climbing". We met up, and I tried to be really casual. Not trying to show-off my climbing at all, not clinging to her, just kind of keeping company nearish to her the entire time, while letting her go off and do her own problems, and talk to other people, and me doing the same. This was my first climbing date, and I think the way I went about it was correct.
As expected, 3+ other dudes intervened in our climbing date...
- a white dude she knows from some other social club, fairly attractive, way better climber than me, hung around us several times, and he even asked her "how long you planning on staying?" towards the end, which was an indication he wanted to hang with her afterwards. Luckily she turned him down (or perhaps he gave up), because I saw him leave the gym alone soon after that. My read of this situation is that he's a fairly attractive guy, but he slow-rolled the interaction, and as we know, attraction has an expiration date, and he had slowly friend-zoned himself over time.
- another tall asian guy hung around us for a bit, but he's skinny, unattractive, and awkward, so he was no threat. It was sorta funny to watch him. I was planted solidly and sitting down, and he was standing up when talking to me, awkwardly rocking back-and-forth. I could literally smell his feeling of social awkwardness.
- another Taiwanese dude from the military talked to her occasionally when she wasn't physically near me. His face wasn't particularly attractive, but he was solidly built. Again, I think he was trying the "talk to her every time he sees her at the gym, hoping for something in the future" strategy, which inevitably resulted in friendzone.
It was so interesting watching these other suitors, knowing what I know now of social/sexual dynamics, and seeing my past self in them. And the funniest thing is that I didn't even have to tool them, or even say anything to them, they were tooling themselves perfectly by just being a "nice guy".
Now, as to my interaction with her, it was okay at first. A little stilted as we couldn't really get into any deep topics. There was one thing I did that "saved me". I probed into what other sports she's into. She said she used to do BJJ, and I said I tried MMA, but didn't like grappling with sweaty guys, and said I'd much prefer if I could grapple with cute girls instead *smirks*. This was an attempt to sexualize our boring conversation, introduce a bit of flirtation/playfulness, etc. She said "me too!". And immediately, I asked "Are you bisexual?". This turned out to be true, and she was very surprised at my cold read, and our conversation became more interesting after this point. I later asked her more about being bisexual, lesbian sex, etc. which furthered her intrigue in me.
Towards the end of climbing, I sorta awkwardly re-proposed we go to the restaurant we were planning to go to. I wasn't sure if that was still the plan since we hadn't mentioned it, and the date was only going lukewarm at this point. She said sure though, and so we went to the restaurant, ordered drinks/snacks, and continued the conversation. This 1:1 interaction was much better, more intimate. Ultimately the conversation topic revolved around what we were talking about before, sex, bisexuality, threesomes, dating, etc. I sat orthogonal to her, touched her thigh at high points, and our faces got quite close at times while we looked into each other's eyes with piercing eye contact.
BOUNCE
At the end of the date, I suggested we get the check. She walked with me with her credit card. When girls do this, I often let them split. But this time I thought the higher probability move was to pay, because we had already established that I'm way older than her, way more established in my career, and I explicitly chose a job for money (finance), while she explicitly turned down money (software job) for a dream job (university). So I joked "nah, I got this, I can't let you pay, you're a starving student", which I think was an okay way to pay for the date, and not be a "provider".
PULL
As we were leaving, we were talking about transit options back to our places. I figured this was a really really low probability chance of continuing the interaction, since it was so late (10:30PM) on a cold weekday, far away from my place (most of my pulls are within a 10 minute walk of my place). But I hail-mary'd again, and asked "Hey, so before you go, want to have a drink at my place? I can make you a cocktail or some whiskey, and I can walk you to the train station afterwards.". To my surprise, she just said sure. This was surprising to me because the amount of "plausible deniability" was basically zero, we just had a drink, why get another drink at my place (far away), and this was very logistically non-ideal, since she was going out of her way, away from the train station to go to my place, and would need to do a long walk back in the cold to get to the train station even later tonight.
So I casually called a Lyft, and tried to act as "unsurprised" as possible, and change the subject and chat about other stuff.
ESCALATION
Back at my place, I showed her around my place, she was impressed by my house-plant game, since she's into that too. I made her a cocktail, which she really liked. Then I kissed her, which she really hungrily accepted. From there, it was a bit of foreplay on the couch (a slight bit of LMR where she adjusted her pants back on more after they had rided down), then I lifted her up and brought her to the bed. Then as I undressed her pants, she herself pulled her pants off along with her panties (the second time this has happened to me), which is the clearest green light ever that she's ready. I put it in her unprotected at first, then got out and put a condom on.
SEX
Sex was really quite good. For a young girl, she's really in tune with her sexuality, which sorta makes sense because she's bisexual. I stayed in her for over an hour, and we chatted A LOT in between points of action. I really enjoyed the banter we had during sex, and the way she looked at me, and her sexual energy.
There were a few running jokes throughout the sex session:
- She said that I disproved the notion that asian guys all have small dicks and don't last long
- I joked that the reason I'm not finishing is because I'm actually homosexual, and she doesn't have a dick, so I can't finish.
- She called me a fuckboy multiple times, and I sarcastically refuted her. Telling her that I'm actually a virgin (while I'm literally inside her).
- She loved my muscles, said I was very bitable (and she did a lot of biting/scratching). Funny to reflect on the years of weight-lifting/dieting that I've worked on, all to pay off in moments like this.
AFTER SEX
After finishing, we cuddled for awhile, and by the time we got up from that, it was past 3AM, and I offered her to spend the night, she said "Sure, I'd probably get mugged if I tried to go home now". And I joked crassly "Oh, you'd definitely get raped if you tried to go home now".
I gave her an extra toothbrush, and she was surprised I also had makeup remover, and contact lens cases, and contact lens solution (none of which I use, all of which are clearly for girls who stay over).
The next morning we had sex again before she left. Was also good.
I told her about my annoying new neighbor, who blasts loud music even after I complained to her multiple times. The first thing she asked me was "is she cute?". I said "eh she's okay. Ehh she's kinda cute". She smiled and said "you should fuck her". And I laughed, and came up with a scheme where the two of us can seduce her into a threesome, and while this girl distracts my neighbor, I will steal her keys out of her purse, go over to her apartment, and sabotage her subwoofer. I loved this little joke because it indicated how masculine and sexual she viewed me. She thought I'm "so fucking hot", that my solution to any problem involving a female should be to just fuck her and get what I want that way.
KEYS TO THE LAY
- taking hail-mary opportunities:
- getting her number after the initial approach fizzled out and I had a second chance
- chatting her up on the second random encounter even though she had gone cold on me over text
- agreeing to go on the climbing date even though it would be non-ideal
- asking her if she wants to take an Uber to the other side of town late at night to my place...
- sexualizing the conversation, not being boring. She's bisexual, and has had a lot of experience for an early 20s girl, and is down to hookup, so she wants something interesting
- leading, being a dominant older male
- not being weird when we discovered our age differences
- at some point while drinking at the bar, we found out our age differences, she's 9 years younger than me. This was a bit surprising to me, as I had thought she was mid 20s, and I'd never been with a girl 9 years younger than me. It made me a bit more excited since it was something different. I think she was a bit self-conscious actually, thinking I'd think she was too immature. I reassured her that she seems very mature for her age.
- leaning into personas that benefit me:
- it's really good to act homoerotic, especially when it's countered with clear masculine energy and desire to fuck her. It indicates I have high social calibration, strong sexual energy, and I don't care what society or others think of me
- before hooking up, I gave small hints that I'm a fuckboy. And afterwards she totally loved that persona on me.
LESSONS/STICKING POINTS
- I think I handled this interaction fairly well. It was a combination of luck, and her natural chemistry for me that sealed the deal. If I were to point out one main mistake, it would be forgetting that she was planning to climb the next day, and getting boxed into a "climbing date". But then again, maybe if we had met directly at a bar, the conversation wouldn't have had enough time to germinate. Who knows.
It's kind of amazing to reflect on how far I've come on this journey. I vividly remember the early 20s me, who could never be with the hot girls my age, watching hopelessly as they got swept up by older men. Now I'm one of those older men looking with pity on these younger guys. Such is life.
Me: 30 y/o Asian, dressed in some shabby gym attire, but the sleeveless shirt shows off some nice shoulder/tricep muscles
Her: 21 y/o Asian, from Thailand, student, wearing decent face makeup, really pretty face, average athleisureware
VENUES
Meet: a rock climbing gym I frequent
2nd Meet: at the same gym
Date: a restaurant near the gym
BACKGROUND
I've hit some good momentum with Cold Approach recently.
When I started doing it seriously in January 2022, my stretch goal was to acquire 1 new number per week. And going out to Cold Approach was a **big deal**. I had to prepare an entire weekend day for it, spend hours thinking about it beforehand, spend hours walking around, and spend hours decompressing.
This past week, I managed to get at least 1 number per day for the entire week, with a that-evening date, and another next-day date, and a same-day date, and with one day where I got 3 numbers in a single day out of 9 approaches. So although there were no lays that previous week, the funnel was the widest it's ever been, and my confidence and smoothness during Cold Approach are definitely at their apex.
THE MEET
I met this girl on a Sunday evening of that week, where I decided to take a social rest, and do some rock climbing rather than hitting the streets for more night-time day-game.
While climbing, I naturally scouted the gym to see if there's anyone I'd like to meet. I spotted one cute Asian girl at the other end of the gym. One thing I noticed immediately was that her proportions were interesting. Most girls in gyms wear low-cut tops with pushup bras that let you see exactly their breast size. This girl wore a pretty not-revealing top, but her breast area was really large and bulging. So it at first almost looks like she's a little chubby, but on second look, you realize her stomach is flat, so rather, she's extremely well-endowed (natural pornstar E cups, vanishingly rare on an Asian), and trying to hide it.
This was a pretty crowded Sunday night, and there were a lot of people. I ambled around the gym for a bit, keeping her in the corner of my eye, looking for the right opening/angle to talk to her. Annoyingly, 2-3 other unattractive asian guys were "taking their chances" with her, and I had to wait 20+ minutes before she freed up from their conversations (destined for friendzone).
Finally, when she was free, I beelined to her, then smoothly approached her from a diagonal and complimented her on her tattoo. I love when girls have a tattoo, it makes for such an easy and natural way to open them. She explained what the tattoo meant, and I cold read she was from Thailand based on her look and her accent, and we chit-chatted a bit more about the tattoo that I want. Unfortunately, the conversation stalled for just a bit, and she bailed out, saying she was leaving now. I just said okay.
THE CLOSE
Luckily, as she was leaving, she forgot her shoes, and walked back in my direction. I smoothly re-introed "oh, you forgot something". She said yes. I then just hail-mary'd this, and said "hey, want to exchange numbers?" She said sure, and I typed my number into her phone (since my phone was in the locker). This would be the first of many passed-by-the-skin-of-my-teeth interactions with her.
After this number close, I actually decided to order some more expensive lululemon style shorts/sleeveless tops, to improve my gym appearance for future climbing pickups.
FOLLOWUP
Unfortunately, typing your number into a girl's phone is sub-optimal, because you're at her mercy for her to actually text you back (and girls don't like to feel like they're the ones making the effort). On the other hand, if she does actually text you, you have some solid initial investment from her.
She did text me back that night "hey it's ____
".I waited til the next morning, and asked if she wants to meet for a coffee or bite sometime. She deflected this "attempted escalation" towards a 1:1 setting, and countered "sure, we can get a bite after climbing next time". So I figured this lead was going cold, since she wanted me as a "gym friend". I politely asked her when she's climbing next, not thinking much about it. She gave me some times, I replied, but she went cold on me.
Fast forward to next week, I decide to go climbing again just before gym closing, to get my head off of work. I had basically forgotten her up to this point, but I ran into her just as she was getting dressed to leave. I chatted with her and another mutual acquaintance for a bit, then went on my way to climbing.
Very surprisingly, she and that other guy stuck around and watched me climb/chatted with me for the next 20 minutes. Her attitude towards me was totally different this time: She was cheering me on as I did a hard problem, and giving me compliments about how strong I was, and giving me lots of smiles. I have two theories as to why the this second interaction was better:
1. She noticed my fingers are very long and slender, and I casually explained that I'm a musician. Which she thought was really cool. She asked if that's my profession, and I explained I needed to make money so I work at some fancy finance job. I think she admired that I was a mix of alternative (musician), but also have my shit together (finance).
2. Maybe the new fancy athleisure ware shorts just looked really good? haha
I casually asked her about the mutual acquaintance, and found out he's younger, and she only sees him as a friend, and she's not dating anyone right now.
At the end, we all 3 walked out together, and she asked me if I could maybe be "her spectator" this coming Friday when there's a climbing competition at this gym, and you can bring one guest. I said I'd look into it, and I said goodbye to the 2 of them, they were taking a train in the opposite direction, so I couldn't smoothly tag along without seeming creepy/try-hard.
I felt pretty good about her afterwards, and played a game of text-chicken with her. I knew that if I texted her, I'd be double texting her, since she went cold after my last message. So I resisted texting her afterwards, and just a few hours later after midnight, she texted me with a smile giving me event info for Friday.
I had plans that Friday, so I deflected (also good to show that I'm not too available), and asked if she could meet after work for a coffee/bite sometime later this week instead. She responded positively. I made the mistake of suggesting we meet the next day after work (I totally forgot that she texted me previously that she was planning to climb on this day). She started steering the date again in the direction of climbing together-then getting food afterwards, and I fell into the trap (I knew climbing together wouldn't be the best odds, especially since there will be a ton of other simp guys there she knows that will be interrupting our time). It was kind of too late to say I can't make it tomorrow anymore, so I decided to just go on the climbing date... (at least this time with the agreement that we'd get drinks/snacks afterwards).
FIRST DATE
So I pushed the climbing date as early as possible after work, so we'd have more time for "after climbing". We met up, and I tried to be really casual. Not trying to show-off my climbing at all, not clinging to her, just kind of keeping company nearish to her the entire time, while letting her go off and do her own problems, and talk to other people, and me doing the same. This was my first climbing date, and I think the way I went about it was correct.
As expected, 3+ other dudes intervened in our climbing date...
- a white dude she knows from some other social club, fairly attractive, way better climber than me, hung around us several times, and he even asked her "how long you planning on staying?" towards the end, which was an indication he wanted to hang with her afterwards. Luckily she turned him down (or perhaps he gave up), because I saw him leave the gym alone soon after that. My read of this situation is that he's a fairly attractive guy, but he slow-rolled the interaction, and as we know, attraction has an expiration date, and he had slowly friend-zoned himself over time.
- another tall asian guy hung around us for a bit, but he's skinny, unattractive, and awkward, so he was no threat. It was sorta funny to watch him. I was planted solidly and sitting down, and he was standing up when talking to me, awkwardly rocking back-and-forth. I could literally smell his feeling of social awkwardness.
- another Taiwanese dude from the military talked to her occasionally when she wasn't physically near me. His face wasn't particularly attractive, but he was solidly built. Again, I think he was trying the "talk to her every time he sees her at the gym, hoping for something in the future" strategy, which inevitably resulted in friendzone.
It was so interesting watching these other suitors, knowing what I know now of social/sexual dynamics, and seeing my past self in them. And the funniest thing is that I didn't even have to tool them, or even say anything to them, they were tooling themselves perfectly by just being a "nice guy".
Now, as to my interaction with her, it was okay at first. A little stilted as we couldn't really get into any deep topics. There was one thing I did that "saved me". I probed into what other sports she's into. She said she used to do BJJ, and I said I tried MMA, but didn't like grappling with sweaty guys, and said I'd much prefer if I could grapple with cute girls instead *smirks*. This was an attempt to sexualize our boring conversation, introduce a bit of flirtation/playfulness, etc. She said "me too!". And immediately, I asked "Are you bisexual?". This turned out to be true, and she was very surprised at my cold read, and our conversation became more interesting after this point. I later asked her more about being bisexual, lesbian sex, etc. which furthered her intrigue in me.
Towards the end of climbing, I sorta awkwardly re-proposed we go to the restaurant we were planning to go to. I wasn't sure if that was still the plan since we hadn't mentioned it, and the date was only going lukewarm at this point. She said sure though, and so we went to the restaurant, ordered drinks/snacks, and continued the conversation. This 1:1 interaction was much better, more intimate. Ultimately the conversation topic revolved around what we were talking about before, sex, bisexuality, threesomes, dating, etc. I sat orthogonal to her, touched her thigh at high points, and our faces got quite close at times while we looked into each other's eyes with piercing eye contact.
BOUNCE
At the end of the date, I suggested we get the check. She walked with me with her credit card. When girls do this, I often let them split. But this time I thought the higher probability move was to pay, because we had already established that I'm way older than her, way more established in my career, and I explicitly chose a job for money (finance), while she explicitly turned down money (software job) for a dream job (university). So I joked "nah, I got this, I can't let you pay, you're a starving student", which I think was an okay way to pay for the date, and not be a "provider".
PULL
As we were leaving, we were talking about transit options back to our places. I figured this was a really really low probability chance of continuing the interaction, since it was so late (10:30PM) on a cold weekday, far away from my place (most of my pulls are within a 10 minute walk of my place). But I hail-mary'd again, and asked "Hey, so before you go, want to have a drink at my place? I can make you a cocktail or some whiskey, and I can walk you to the train station afterwards.". To my surprise, she just said sure. This was surprising to me because the amount of "plausible deniability" was basically zero, we just had a drink, why get another drink at my place (far away), and this was very logistically non-ideal, since she was going out of her way, away from the train station to go to my place, and would need to do a long walk back in the cold to get to the train station even later tonight.
So I casually called a Lyft, and tried to act as "unsurprised" as possible, and change the subject and chat about other stuff.
ESCALATION
Back at my place, I showed her around my place, she was impressed by my house-plant game, since she's into that too. I made her a cocktail, which she really liked. Then I kissed her, which she really hungrily accepted. From there, it was a bit of foreplay on the couch (a slight bit of LMR where she adjusted her pants back on more after they had rided down), then I lifted her up and brought her to the bed. Then as I undressed her pants, she herself pulled her pants off along with her panties (the second time this has happened to me), which is the clearest green light ever that she's ready. I put it in her unprotected at first, then got out and put a condom on.
SEX
Sex was really quite good. For a young girl, she's really in tune with her sexuality, which sorta makes sense because she's bisexual. I stayed in her for over an hour, and we chatted A LOT in between points of action. I really enjoyed the banter we had during sex, and the way she looked at me, and her sexual energy.
There were a few running jokes throughout the sex session:
- She said that I disproved the notion that asian guys all have small dicks and don't last long
- I joked that the reason I'm not finishing is because I'm actually homosexual, and she doesn't have a dick, so I can't finish.
- She called me a fuckboy multiple times, and I sarcastically refuted her. Telling her that I'm actually a virgin (while I'm literally inside her).
- She loved my muscles, said I was very bitable (and she did a lot of biting/scratching). Funny to reflect on the years of weight-lifting/dieting that I've worked on, all to pay off in moments like this.
AFTER SEX
After finishing, we cuddled for awhile, and by the time we got up from that, it was past 3AM, and I offered her to spend the night, she said "Sure, I'd probably get mugged if I tried to go home now". And I joked crassly "Oh, you'd definitely get raped if you tried to go home now".
I gave her an extra toothbrush, and she was surprised I also had makeup remover, and contact lens cases, and contact lens solution (none of which I use, all of which are clearly for girls who stay over).
The next morning we had sex again before she left. Was also good.
I told her about my annoying new neighbor, who blasts loud music even after I complained to her multiple times. The first thing she asked me was "is she cute?". I said "eh she's okay. Ehh she's kinda cute". She smiled and said "you should fuck her". And I laughed, and came up with a scheme where the two of us can seduce her into a threesome, and while this girl distracts my neighbor, I will steal her keys out of her purse, go over to her apartment, and sabotage her subwoofer. I loved this little joke because it indicated how masculine and sexual she viewed me. She thought I'm "so fucking hot", that my solution to any problem involving a female should be to just fuck her and get what I want that way.
KEYS TO THE LAY
- taking hail-mary opportunities:
- getting her number after the initial approach fizzled out and I had a second chance
- chatting her up on the second random encounter even though she had gone cold on me over text
- agreeing to go on the climbing date even though it would be non-ideal
- asking her if she wants to take an Uber to the other side of town late at night to my place...
- sexualizing the conversation, not being boring. She's bisexual, and has had a lot of experience for an early 20s girl, and is down to hookup, so she wants something interesting
- leading, being a dominant older male
- not being weird when we discovered our age differences
- at some point while drinking at the bar, we found out our age differences, she's 9 years younger than me. This was a bit surprising to me, as I had thought she was mid 20s, and I'd never been with a girl 9 years younger than me. It made me a bit more excited since it was something different. I think she was a bit self-conscious actually, thinking I'd think she was too immature. I reassured her that she seems very mature for her age.
- leaning into personas that benefit me:
- it's really good to act homoerotic, especially when it's countered with clear masculine energy and desire to fuck her. It indicates I have high social calibration, strong sexual energy, and I don't care what society or others think of me
- before hooking up, I gave small hints that I'm a fuckboy. And afterwards she totally loved that persona on me.
LESSONS/STICKING POINTS
- I think I handled this interaction fairly well. It was a combination of luck, and her natural chemistry for me that sealed the deal. If I were to point out one main mistake, it would be forgetting that she was planning to climb the next day, and getting boxed into a "climbing date". But then again, maybe if we had met directly at a bar, the conversation wouldn't have had enough time to germinate. Who knows.
It's kind of amazing to reflect on how far I've come on this journey. I vividly remember the early 20s me, who could never be with the hot girls my age, watching hopelessly as they got swept up by older men. Now I'm one of those older men looking with pity on these younger guys. Such is life.
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