New Mission Debriefings

[Railer]

Mission: Establish regular availability of sex with top-quality girls

Rule: Username upgrade after successfully closing two cold approaches where girl considered "WOW" beforehand and maximum half operator's age.

Restrictions: Solo-orgasm permitted only after every 10 cold approaches.

Reward: Allowed to watch one episode of favorite TV series only after every one new cold approach.

    Operator profile: 100+ closes, of which <10 via day game
    Status:           last closed cold approach >2 years ago.

 

[Railer]

Sortie one

Objectives: say at least "hi, how are you?"

Plan of action: Get warmed up by shopping, then proceeds for girls at mall.

Results:

Girl 1 returns smile. Turn around to catch up and ask how she was. Briefly answered and bails as if uneasy.

Place myself next to girl 2 on automatic stairs. Say the words. Responds kindly, My mind goes blank. Resort to asking her name. Interaction uncomfortable. As she bailed, I asked her if in a hurry. Objects she’s only . I’m startled. Things go south. Bail.

Takeaways: Pre-open and give her time. Focus on fundamentals and have something to continue the chat with. If age-issue raised, playfully let her know that this is not going to work then, then change topic and try to continue the conversation regardless. For good measure, slightly shorten beard.

Score: 2

 

[Railer]

Sortie two

Objective: cross town on foot. (keeping penalties and restrictions of challenge in mind)

Plan of action: think of fun things in order to work positively and with a smile.

Results:

Notice two girls walking right behind me, chatting. Let them reach my height. Open, relating to something they said. Focus on fundamentals and being deliberate. Offer to be in touch when they finish dinner. She hands me her phone to type in number. Aware she will not get in touch unless I get her number too, but I am not that interested.

Later, driving out I notice them on the sidewalk. Say something. They respond badly. A minute later I receive message excusing her for not recognizing me right away. We immediately arrange another meat. I bail after short interaction, because my criteria is not being met.

Takeaways: Fundamentals already much better then on last sortie.

Score: 1

 

[Railer]

Sortie three

Objectives: find and open girl who just posted on Instagram

Plan of action: Roam town close to where she last posted.

Results:

use opportunity to chat with a friend in order to warm up. Unable to find the girl in question. No other WOW girls seem to be around. Shortly before giving up, I notice two girls that do meet the criteria. They return my smile. They are part of a mixed set. As I catch up, I open situationally. But then miss my cue to continue conversation, feel uncomfortable and bail.

Returning to car I smile at yet another girl, but realize too late how cute she is and pass her only to find myself later fantasizing about her.

Takeaways: remember "how do you all know each other" for mixed sets. Stay alert, even on way out.

Score: 0

 

[Railer]

Sortie four

Objectives: not clearly defined (barely motivated to even get out)

Plan of action: get into town and see what comes up

Results:

Notice family with a perfectly endowed blonde model-type girl. Open almost automatically who appears father, actually thinking he might be a celebrity I met once before. While we try to resolve who I mistook him for, rest of family advances into restaurant. We finish chat and depart. Keep wondering if the other guy, her age, was boyfriend or even just brother.
Generally feel very uncomfortable today. Cannot clearly see, but two girls sitting there seem to look at me. Appear to be the bored part of wedding entourage. Too afraid to even get close, I take off.
Super-hot girl texts me. Find she just broke up after five years. Is as interested in me as I’m in her, but too far away. Now I’m even hornier and have to adhere to the rules …

Takeaways: Unsure why so uneasy today. Maybe b/c same town three days in a row. Maybe sitting with friends after that first approach brought down energy. In hindsight girl from sortie two doesn’t seem that bad, but had assumed her being vaxxed when she had reacted extremely emotional when I pointed out not wanting to join them to venue X, because that one had taken the certificate checks too serious over these years. In future: Don’t assume. Escalate till verified.

Score: 0

 

[Railer]

Sortie five

Objectives: do two cold approaches on quality girls, focus on pre-open and slowness and deep voice

Plan of action: park at mall, do one approach there, grant a pause by buying one item at a store outside, do another approach while exploring less frequented streets

Exfil: visit park for cool down


Results:

No Joy. The idea of opening another girl in the mall makes me very nervous. Also, find myself discarding girls as not attractive enough.

I am being social with many people in general, but I'm not learning much there. A couple of encounters to process:

One very young has a sexy smirk as if she just did something nasty. Let her pass without following.

One blonde catches my attention. Keep walking. Loose her while wondering if she's in company of that older lady.

After walking every level twice, feel uneasy thinking how staff notices "this guy just walking around all the time". Skip mall.

A block down, notice group of girls potentially cute. A couple of yards off from their position, there's a girl sitting. As I start walking, that girl gets up and takes a crosswalk to get over to my side. Already past to crosswalk myself, stop, decide to not keep following the others, turnaround and see the girl leaning on streetlamp facing me, eating snack. Again discarding as not super hot, smile and say "enjoy!". She smiles back with mouth full slightly nodding as if to say "thank you".

Close to bus stop, notice possibly cute girl in peripheral vision. Without looking, give her time to pass and see me. Turn and catch her looking, head turned towards me, gleaming smile, brushing hand through hair. She's beeeautiful. Seems to get on another bus. Thoughts race in my head and I fail to say or do anything.

Another girl standing around seemingly a bit lost. Again, I discard her, for not being super hot. I want the one I just saw :/

In bottle blonde, fashionable loose black clothes gets of bicycle and starts walking close behind on the sidewalk. Step aside to let her pass. She thanks me in an overly kind manner. I remark something and walk on.

As I get off automatic stairs, a woman shouts "Hot Bastard!". Don't dare to look until further away when I cannot make out any details. Socially awkward, but kind of respectable.


Takeaways:

Hard to digest not having acted on that one beauty, but guess I'm a looker. Will ask the forums if anyone can relate to the most interesting opportunities being so seemingly fleeting and for tips on making them less surprising and overwhelming. Also, I wonder if it's really just looks and a good walk that gets me those interactions?

Instead of discarding, if girl is roughly the type I want, will remind myself that I'll just try to become friends or to have options or simply to give her a chance to show what she's got going for her.

For my "paranoia", I'll add browsing through some stores at the mall.

Besides that woman blurting out her attraction, there was that guy that tries to chat up random passerby and one guy screaming at his girl angrily ... and here I am worrying that walking around looking for girls is weird ...

Some lines derived from today:

[For heavily pierced girl] "Cool style!" Thanks "How did you develop it?"
[For smoker in deserted park] "Is that of the good stuff?" blah "I guess you work around here?"
[For bicycle girl] Thank you! "So what's on _your_ schedule today?"
[For foodie] [Smile] "Did you cross the street to be closer to me? "
[For beauty] "Wait! Don't get on that bus!" Huh? "It can't get faster than 50 or ..." (well probably no girl knows that movie any more)

For you who read up to here: Feel like letting you down on, again, not opening those "WOW" girls.

 

[phuasjn2]

For you who read up to here: Feel like letting you down on, again, not opening those "WOW" girls.

Yup you know it. Good luck on the next outing. Just open every girl for practice

 

[Railer]

Sortie six

Objectives: cold approach girl "good enough" for one-time sex (if possible, pre-open & use deep voice)

Plan of action: park upside of town and take tour

Exfil: bath at nearby lake for cool down

Approaches: 2 (=> 5 overall)

Result: Success

Sit on the bench. Give smile as blond talking on phone gets closer. Locks on and both our smiles get broader and broader. Say "hi!". Playfully responds "Hello!" Seems receptive, but I’m overwhelmed and hesitate too long to say anything else.

Two other girls sit down nearby. Wonder if seeking my attention, but on none of my checks I find them looking.

Slim tall girl walks by at steady pace. Hesitate, but decide to catch up. Ensure to conspicuously look at her face, so she can notice me before I say anything. Then smile and open. Seems unresponsive. Many awkward pauses. Force myself not to bail. Kindly offer her to continue her walk alone, but she says it’s okay. Loosen up as now it’s her responsibility to bail if she wants.

Seems it’s really just her not being much of a talker. Seems inexperienced, self cautious, especially about her braces. Cute. To keep her comfortable I keep my DHV’s at minimum, but need to bring up some of my experience to get topics started. Banter to playfully communicate everything is cool. Focus on getting her used to my touch. Focus on my voice and incorporate two-steps-forward-one-step-back: First ask for contact to go swimming together. Doesn’t want to give it. "Guess we won’t be riding off into the sunset together then", I remark. Bit later, tell her again to exchange contacts so we may at least consider doing something. We walk a total of ~40 min.

Trying to open 2-set that had not had opportunity to check me out first, I notice the "I am not going to look at him, just in case he’s not attractive"-flight response as I say hi.

Taught by this, open next set, sideways, first allowing them a second to look at my face: "Night’s over already?" Reaction very positive. Short chat, but as we arrive at their car, they excuse themselves.

Takeaways

• On bench, was really just trying to become acclimatized to being out. Not prepared for blonde. Adding reminder to notes to expect such unexpected positivity. Potential line: "Wait! You've lost something!" What? "The opportunity for us to get to know each other. Almost. My name's X."
• In future situ #2 will move faster (hand-holding, kissing, …) to find actual resistance point.
• For way to car, I’ll at least try something direct like: "We just met - would be a pity if we lost each other right away - exchange details just in case?"
• Start getting used to idea of opening girls accompanied by family. Stunning opportunities lost there.

 

[Railer]

Sortie seven

Objectives: cold approach girl "good enough" for one-time sex

Plan of action: sit and pay attention to interesting girls passing

Exfil: lake for cool down

Approaches: 1 (=> 6 overall)

Result: Success

Blonde returns smile. "Where are you going?". Keeps walking. Feel embarrassed. Stupid line. Then focus on fact that I at least said something, unlike the other day (sortie six).

Later, cross same girl elsewhere. Initially, interaction feels weird, but things loosen up quickly. Get along great. Get myself turned on by checking her body for places I’d like to explore. Tells me, she’s free next day and would like to do something together. On way to lake, feel pumped. Think "why not push for close today?" Send her message. Blocks me. Feel crushed. Confused. Encounter friends. Feel better after telling them what had happened.

At home, notice her message. Had actually responded within ten minutes. Her profile picture disappearing didn’t mean she’d blocked me.

Takeaways

• Benefit of doubt over trust in messaging apps

 

[Railer]

Sortie eight

Objectives: direct-open good girl (aiming for sex _today_, not "some day, maybe")

Plan of action: cross town, mentally prepared for positivity and approach invitations

Exfil: watch episode for cool down

Approaches: 3

Overall ADC: 9-4-0 (approach-details-close)

Result: Success

Town seems packed with beauty. Cross the girl I think had blocked me (sortie seven). Give her very warm "I know you want me"-smile and an extended "Hellooo", which she returns with a smirk, seemingly intrigued.

Now with friend.

Open 2-set. Girl really makes effort to communicate that she is "minor" and "only 17". "Guess we won’t be riding off into the sunset together then", I tease indifferently. Take the other girl’s hand. Smile. "I will ride off with X then." Raise her hand, pass her over first girl’s head, positioning myself next to her. Both refer to boyfriends. First proposes to leave. Feel like beauty at my side finds me charming. Hesitates, but we let them off the hook.

Strolling, my gaze meets that of exceptional beauty. We both seem to be thinking "WOW". Mixed set, two boys, three girls. "Hi", we greet each other. They already walking in front of us, ask: "Did we just greet each other, because we know each other, or …?" Responds something. Throw my guess of their nationality, they giggle among themselves as they continue. We fall a bit behind, maintaining matching bearing. Friend gets crazy about how "that girl is too young" (legally she isn’t too young). Tell him, ultimately it’s her decision, and that I am not letting anybody dictate who I may talk to or not. Notice girls stopped. Position next to her, say "hi" almost to myself, and then, as if I just noticed in that moment: "Wow … [checking her out from toe to face] you’re so pretty! … and that combination you’re wearing …" I mean it. Seems truly flattered. Love her gleaming smile. Chit-chat. Suggest to stay in touch. Refers to boyfriend. Get her to tell me her Instagram. Go for one-armed hug for exit.

Friend sees another 2-set. Wants to be the one to open this time. Enter a few steps after. Talk to blonde, but fascinated by brunette. Conversation flows naturally. Get numbers "in case we loose each other", taking brunette’s first, sub-communicating my interest, then blonde’s. Think of two steps forward, one step back. Propose high investment things: Doing a night swim in the lake. Then fall back to "just drinks at home-bar". More minutes in, propose we walk a bit. End up stopping a few blocks down as they light cigarettes. Suggest we continue so they can finish their smoke stress-free. Picking up again, switch focus to brunette. Happy. Friend now talking to blonde. Reach some benches. Lean against one. Tell brunette to give me her hand. Surprised look, but complies as I seat her next to me myself. Others take the next bench. Like how she complains that she’s "now 18" and her parents are "still so overprotective". Touch her back. Leave hand there. Continues talking. Brush my hand through her hair. No resistance. "Want to sit closer?", as I slightly nudge outer side of her hip towards me. Refuses kindly but clearly: "No, I rather not." Wants to add some reasoning, but notices I’m already cool. Give her space. Rest my hand where it at least contacts her leg. Talks, but doesn’t lock looks with me. Try to withdraw a bit of attention myself, but struggle - too captivating to look away from. Conversation not super-deep-dive, but does pretty much all the talking and still find out a lot about her.

Friend has to leave. Accompany him. Is happy having ended up talking to blonde. Fancied her more.

Intel

• Didn’t actually think I would pull off the direct-opener in this sortie, but truly felt it. Was easy. (Thanks @Zucchini for inspiring this through your reports.)
• That girl would qualify as "WOW"-girl as per initial mission rule.
• Trying to pull her closer can be done more smoothly, commanding, or by escalating in smaller steps.
• Next opportunity will try to hold hands with a girl seated next to me.
• Proposing things I might point out some angle like "we likely never get this opportunity again to make this night exciting". I am positive they ended up with a rather boring night after we left.
• Will continue to propose things, even if "they already declined that one, 30 minutes ago". Maybe things changed in the meantime.
• Deep-dive for more wants, dreams, hopes, passions, not facts.
• Definitely start to give some chunks of information about myself that she can get excited about and wonder what else there might be to find.

 

[Railer]

Sortie nine

Objectives: open at lake

Plan of action: take reading material to spot with good probability of encounter

Exfil: back to base for food

Approaches: 1

Overall ADC: 10-5-0 (approach-details-close)

Result: Success

Space is restricted. Set up blanket next to 2-set. Throw some comment over to tanned, trained girl. Seems incapable of responding. Overhearing their chats. Obvious they’re younger than they look. Tanned has that teenage-arrogance where they still think they could get anyone. Makes her appear dumb. Later she’s asking the other for advice regarding a guy. Other proposes some witty ideas, of which tanned rejects all. Can’t help but laugh: "You guys really got some crazy topics!" [Playful response] "But you give great advice." "Who?" "You [witty], to her." Tanned looks as if to say "What? My friend gets the attention?" Short banter. Focus back on my phone. "Do [formal-]you come here regularly?" Look back up. Witty looking at tanned, but commander tanned isn’t responding. Finished packing up, they leave. Did I just get a SOI from a cute witty teen, addressing me formally? That’s hot.

"I only said that he has great physique! .. Can one not even make a simple statement anymore?" I overhear this fun girl defending herself against her peers, a little after I pushed myself up from the water. Group of two guys and two girls. This appears to be about me. Later, returning from changing room, they all sit in silence trying not to look too obviously. "Oh! Uncomfortable silence as the guy returns!" Burst of laughter. "You have really beautiful eyes", other girl compliments me as things calm down. "Thank you, you too, I’m not too sure if I like the formal part though." Seems uneasy about my complaint. Boy wants my age. Stating it, the girl seems a bit disappointed: "Too old." Interpret it as her thinking she cannot get a guy like me. "But you already selected another guy anyway?", I smile. "Me? I’m seventeen", seems happy I reengaged. I repeat what I had actually said, descreetly pointing to a third guy they just met and she seemed interested in. Girls burst out in extended laughter. "No, he is into boys!" "Well, then you already got one thing in common." Laughter.

Convo dies. Consider leaving, but remind myself how I will regret it - especially after her compliment. Stall to make sure I end up leaving at same moment as the group. Doesn’t feel all too natural anymore, but we get along. I like these guys. All of them. Tell them, that I am frequently in their town, and that we could arrange to hang out there someday. Give the girl my business card, prompting her to be in touch. Thanks me politely.

Intel

• If I run into first set again, will say something like "Oh, you again. How’s it going?" Not sure how to handle the commander, but hope the witty girl is mature enough to make her own decision.
• Instead of complaining about girl adressing me formally, will turn it back on her and play with it: "Thank you, [formal-]you too! [smile]"
• Next time, will slide closer after receiving compliment, becoming part of the group early and thereby rewarding her.
• Will consider friendship-route in similar situation, because I’d actually be interested in that with them. Feel like going all to open on her specifically stiffened things up.
• 10 approaches total reached!

 

[Railer]

Sortie ten

Objectives: open girl showing my excitement

Plan of action: stroll city

Exfil: join friends

Approaches: 2

Overall ADC: 12-6-0 (approach-details-close)

Result: ~

"Are you speaking Russian?", the two girls who turn out to be Ukrainian giggle as I ask. After some chitchat, suggest I join them for a couple of steps. Interaction very friendly. Suggest her to take my details on two occasions. Opens contact list at one point, but gets distracted again. Upon splitting up, leave the girl my card.

Bigger set of girls walks behind me. Let them catch up. Get lost in looking at the gorgeous blonde among them. Dream girl. Her friend asks her something, but she seems focussed on looking good while at my attention. Ask myself if I’m wishful thinking. Cannot find anything to say. Turning around a little later, hoping for another opportunity, find them to be gone without a trace. Probably entered one of the restaurants.

At mall, follow a stunning body in grey dress. Enters store. From outside confirm she’s beautiful. Though nobody is nearby, I’m uncomfortable with the idea of talking to a girl inside a store. Position myself close, facing the same merchandise: "Hi!" "Hi", she responds. "I just noticed you from outside and thought it would really be a loss if I didn’t talk to you before I left. My name is X." Reaching out for a hand clasp, she already turns with a dumbfounded look, taking a step away. "Okay. Enjoy the rest of your shopping then."

At night I notice a beautiful 2-set as I drive by. Cannot find them again on foot. Given my lack of spirit, other options don’t motivate me to approach.

Intel

• The Ukrainians were easy-going. Could have easily sprinkled some provocative sexual vibe. Next time.
• I’m actually a bit surprised that she was not eager to take my number. She was barely the league of girls I’m looking for and if our places were swapped, I’d jump at the opportunity.
• When I saw the blonde, I thought something like: "Nothing I tried so far worked. Why would it this time?" Guess I just have to keep on trying anyway. If I can get excited, maybe I can say something like: "Wait, wait, wait … [intrigued] who are you?"
• As for the grey dress, will focus on being more confident, not lowering my voice. Wishing her well felt totally off. Will laugh & leave instead.

 

[Railer]

Sortie eleven

Objectives: open girl showing my excitement

Plan of action: stroll town

Exfil: back to base for r&r

Approaches: 1

Overall ADC: 13-7-0 (approach-details-close)

Result:  Success

Maybe just my mood, but I felt less IOI’s in the city in sortie 10 wearing looser-fitting, washed look with T-shirt than in sortie 5 sporting bright-colored trousers and a shirt. Testing today for differences using a shirt girls previously complimented on.

So many people. Do not feel like approaching today. Sit down to get acclimatized. Only older people and families passing. After 1/2 hour, 20 paces out, notice two girls taking literally forever to take pictures of each other. Feel nervous. Barely dare to look. Remind myself how natural it was for me the last time at this spot to look at people and that being nervous is a good sign - better than not being curious about anyone at all. Don’t know how to approach, but feel this is the moment I have to trust my instinct. Follow the urge to get up and start walking their direction, even without an opener in mind. Stop right before crossing their line of sight, forming an isosceles "photographer" to my right, "model" to my left, equal distances. "Oh no!" photographer exclaims embarrassedly, as if thinking I am waiting there for her to finish the picture. "Don’t they turn out as desired?" I offer them to take one of both together. Minor banter as they get into position. They like the result. Leave as smoothly as I entered, wishing them a great night out. I would like to sleep with any of the two and photographer seems joyful. I am not excited enough though - not convinced of the possibility of it happening.

Stop at a corner. Tiny, curvy, sexy Asian shows up, arranging her colorful dress. Stands five steps from me. "Evening has not even yet started and he’s already got you waiting?" "[smiles] I’m sorry I don’t understand >language<." "He’s not coming?" "Oh! He’s coming …" Repeat what I initially said. She still reacts kindly, but I cannot get myself to continue the conversation and walk off after a short pause, wondering what I could do to get excited about girls again. Think it might be the attainability-thing where I don’t feel it because closing isn’t in my reality.

Stop a girl I went on a date with two months ago, but didn’t follow up with. I feel some connection or familiarity. Her friend seems to like me too. Don’t seem to be in a hurry, but I don’t know how to continue: "Well, I’m not going to hold you back any longer …" Will follow up. Maybe the friend will reinforce the idea of me being a good match in the meantime.

Dark eyes look up at me from a bench I pass. She’s struggling to keep her boobs within the skimpy black dress. Stunner. Stop a bit further down to monitor this 3-set of stylish girls. I’m nervous, thinking I have to go back, but then realize there’s really no reason to make this approach awkward. After some minutes, they get up, giving the impression of being about to take the path leading towards me. I start walking as slowly as possible, using other pedestrians as excuse to stall. At a fork, I listen. Hearing them at my 5, I decide to go right. Bingo. They end up walking besides me. High energy. Playing to identify words with their friend who’s from a different state. "May I play along?" I ask playfully. Some banter. Immediately focus on dark eyed girl, even when verbally addressing the group. The other two quickly end up walking in front of us speaking among each other. "What’s your name anyway?" "I’m M." "I’m X. [handclasp]" Brief chat. Notice my excitement about to die. "Well M, I’ll be departing, but I’d like to stay in touch on another occasion. Just in case [smile]. Shall we?" "Just in case [laughs]. Yes, sure!" "What’s the best way to reach you?" "Ehm …" "WhatsApp, maybe?" "Yes, that works." Take number. Her friends had kept walking. "Girls! Slow down one pace!" I command, startling some passersby. As I focus back on my phone to repeat the number, I hear a submissive "Thank you!" from my girl. Turns me on, huge.

Cross a set of a chubby short and a tall girl for the second time. They seem low energy, not out for party. Nonchalantly I state: "So how’s your night going so far?" As the chubby girl responds she’s drawn off by the tall girl, mumbling: "Guess I’d rather go up that way." "Guess she pulled you away", I state calmly. It’s been 3 hours. Time to exfil.

Intel

• Not counting pings or approaches I didn’t try to go through with;
• Felt comfortable in my outfit.
• For photo-girls: "I’m not in a very active mood today, but you two seem cool. Maybe we should exchange details - just in case. What do you think?"
• Complimenting on the colorful dress and finding out who "he" is would’ve been super simple - way to go next time.
• Motivation wasn’t an issue with hot dark-eyes. Notice that it’s not "me not thinking an FC possible", but rather "me not thinking an FC possible within the amount of effort I’m willing to extend". Tapped into the necessary energy/excitement with her.
• Maybe her friends leaving dark-eyes behind with me potentially means they already knew she was interested. Maybe she had said something about me after our gaze met.
• Last approach is a perfect counter-example of not being fully into it and too low energy.

 

[Higher]

Hey 1 (don't wanna write your full nickname as you don't seem to be an idiot),

Great job with Dark Eyes! She sounds pretty hot and quite into you, and you took your shot and got a number.

I am not excited enough though - not convinced of the possibility of it happening.

Man, I know that feeling all too well.

Not sure if you ever tried it, but visualization helped a lot in my case, and by that I mean fully enacting the best scenario in my mind - imagining the full scene, people around, sounds, temperature, wind, scents, gravity. Imagining myself approaching, the girl's looks, what I say, what they say, their smiles, a couple new numbers in my phone. Imagining the good feelings.

And then writing it all down to further cement those feelings. Sounds delusional, but that's the same brain circuitry that top athletes use to dramatically increase their chances of success, especially when done before sleeping.

Plenty of articles/guides online.

-En

 

[Railer]

Hey 1

Visualization I employ sometimes, maybe not to that extent of detail, but with focus on summoning the emotion of a successful outcome.
Sometimes, especially when I repeatedly screwed up an interaction the same way, I'd actually act it out at home a couple of reps with an imaginary girl, with the intention of overwriting the original pattern.

The name I hope to ditch soon, though the requirement I set myself is pretty steep (see OP).

Thanks for your kind overall comment!

 

[Railer]

Sortie twelve

Objectives: say hi to teen

Plan of action: (unexpected)

Exfil: -

Approaches: 1

Overall ADC: 14-8-0 (approach-details-close)

Result: Success

Friend wants to meet me at my exfil site at lake. It is my exfil, because there are never any beautiful girls. Never, except today, close to sunset I notice two girls set up their spot 10 paces from ours. Feet towards lake, parallel to us. One WOW-girl - blonde, slim, sporty butt - my perfect type. Heart rate accelerates. Contemplate possible approaches. Figure I can at least step into water where they will see me, show off my body, then get out where they sit, maybe greet them. Think "That will be soo obvious … but if I cannot come up with anything better …". WOW-girl avoids eye contact. Lock gaze with other: "[smirk] Hi!" "Hi." Continue to my spot. Stand there to avoid triggering some inactivity-anchor. Girl I just greeted now slightly turned away, with WOW-girl partially hidden behind her. No good sign.

Thoughts race as minutes pass. Standing starts feeling unnatural. Sit down for a change. Decide to walk to relax, have a look at another girl, reengage upon return. Girls sit close to water. Crossing in front of them feels weird. Lots of clumsy lines race in my head as I seek for an opener. I finally find something sufficiently playful: "You guys also suffering this terrible life we lead here at the lake? [smile]" She responds something as I keep on walking. I’m four paces away as I respond, taking some more steps away. Surprised she responds again. Gets difficult to hear her. Take some steps back towards her. Interaction continues. Finally decide to go over, sitting down an arms length away from her. I’m surprised at myself. So many girls in my life and yet it feels as if I had never gotten this close before. Quickly run out of things to say. Before pause gets too awkward, excuse myself to check on my friend.

Later, join my friend as he goes towards water. I wet my feet. He asks if I’d go swim again. "Only if they go!", I smile at the girls who aren’t even undressed. There isn’t much reaction. Back to our spot, decide to present myself differently by putting my clothes on. Find the girls are now undressing: "Seriously?!", I smile as I call them out. Waited to get in without me being there? Probably another bad sign. The one I talked to seem very self-cautious. Takes off shirt only at last instant before entering the water, even though she has a great body.

Notice how I’m trying to talk myself into giving up right there: "They’re not interested! Leave it at that! Didn’t you notice they’re just being nice? Maybe even uneasy about you talking to them. And then there’s this older guy over there who might at some point feel entitled to play protector." "Yes, but if I don’t go through, it doesn’t count as an approach. And I want to tell the story. As for the guy: I can handle him. My happiness over an entitlement he might not even actually feel." Friend already wants to leave. Let him know that I simply have to talk to them again. Understands.

After half an hour of stalling, we have all our things packed up, ready to go. Girls just got back into their dry clothes. Take heart. Have to get it over with. Walk up to them: "We’re leaving! [pause] What are your names anyway?" Hand clasps. Beautiful names. WOW-girl displays the brightest smile. Can the two of us just melt together right now and implode the entire universe? Back to reality with the girl I was interacting all along: "Are you guys around often?" "Yeah, sometimes." "Shall we arrange to meet here again some other day?" [Agrees] "Let me just grab your details. What’s a good way to get in touch with you?" [Hesitates] "Anything … WhatsApp maybe?" I shake as I punch her number in my phone.

For half an hour I ride a wave of calm excitement: Not expecting this to go much anywhere, while at the same time feeling that some day, with some girl of this quality, it might happen. The universe might actually implode.

Intel

• Had formulated this mission objective a few days ago, when I ended up running into friends and spending the evening with them instead. Funny how it returned by itself - at a spot where it is least expected. Since I consistently work this dream, it feels as if my intent seems to overwhelm my fears. Syncronicity?
• To avoid running out of things to say, will craft a rough conversation template to lead up to deep diving. Maybe sprinkle some cues about myself to get her curious.
• Sending my icebreaker within a couple of hours - instead of the next day - might feel more natural, even if that ends up being late at night.
• Had a bit of a winner-effect going - closed a valuable deal this week and also felt good sporting a new outfit.
• I’m proud of not having let this one slip.

 

[Railer]

Sortie thirteen

Objectives: be open to possibilities

Plan of action: sit at lake

Exfil: home for r&r

Approaches: 2

Overall ADC: 16-9-0 (approach-details-close)

Result: Success

Decide against approaching cute 2-set, dressed very elegantly, but appearing very young. Notice them again later as they sit down at one of the more comfortable benches at my 10, 40 paces out. After some minutes I switch to a bench closer to theirs, still 20 paces away, at their 8. Seem to be turning to look in my direction every once in a while. Giggling. Even take a selfie, maybe to get me on background and check me out on screen. As bench next to theirs becomes available, move there. Speaking foreign language. Still giggling a lot. Blonde beauty looks directly at me. Give her broad smile. Think we both say hi. Given age gap, decide to leave any re-opening up to them. Instead they get up after a minute, saying good bye to me. As they already walk: "What language is this?" They halt and turn. Notice blonde speaks my language as well. Suggest them to stay for a bit. "No, we’re going to have drinks somewhere." First, intend to leave it at that, but then I catch up with them: "What is your Instagram?" She doesn’t respond well. Notice they’re uneasy. Bail: "Okay. I’ll rather I leave you alone."

Open another 2-set for the hot blonde. Chat goes well with the dark-haired one. Turns out to be aunt. Niece does not speak any language I know. After walking with them for two minutes, tell them that I do not want to be bothering any longer. "Oh, you’re not bothering us." aunt says. Say goodbye anyway. On way out, think sexually about the blonde and want to go through with the approach. Return to town 40 minutes later. Find them sitting at a bar outside. Re-open. Learn that niece has boyfriend. As I want to leave, aunt asks me to have a drink. Say I’ll be returning shortly. Stroll and return. Have a great conversation with aunt. When possible try to include niece. Check out her body and think of her sexually. At one point we have strong eye contact. Her expression seems submissive. Ask if they have Instagram. Niece shows me hers. Later, I get the aunts number. At home send icebreaker to her and hit "follow" for niece.

Intel

• Happy I did the approaches. At this point don’t see any points for improvement. Do you?

 

[Railer]

Sortie fourteen

Objectives: get out

Plan of action: mini-hike to spot with view, then lake

Exfil: home

Approaches: 0

Overall ADC: 16-9-0 (approach-details-close)

Result: ~

Right when I had some healthy routines, some poisoning left me sick for days and days. A white ceiling and millions of thoughts threw me back into deep depression. All momentum gone. Angry at everybody and everything. Nothing worth living for. Wish I never were. Terrified by the idea of not even being half-way through this life yet. The same amount of years still to go? And most of them as an old guy? What am I supposed to do all that time? Disgusting.

Go to that spot. Sit there, shirt-off, just looking out. Help hikers take a picture. Comment on my upper body. Yeah if only it would make a difference about anything. Down at lake loads of people. Just wanna be alone. Lie down, take a swim, let time pass. Single blonde with good body sets up spot next to mine to the right. Avoid anything she might interpret as me being approachable. As she gets out of water, looks at sunny side left of mine, mumbles "oh gonna get some sun" and moves her blanket.

Seriously? The day I just want to be alone with my grudge, and I know 100% I will not talk to any girl, life rubs this in my face? Not that I’d even have considered her a week ago - too old - but given my general lack of success and the brain-dead texts blue-dress shits from her head, maybe it’s time to lower my standards age-wise. I could do that blonde in the changing room. Yeah, but I won’t. I pack my stuff and leave, facing a boring evening and wondering how I’ll return to view people positively again.

Intel

• Treating my body like a temple every day and then ten days - that is like 30% of peak season - just gone like that. For nothing but bad luck with some food or water?
• I just write this because the journal was part of my routine before, because I don’t know what else to do with the rest of this day and because I feel the world deserves my complaining.
• God, you made a shitty world where people with brains are forced to suffer the delusional stupidity of those who base their entire existence on ridiculous beliefs. I wonder if you even asked if I wanted this or it’s just some twisted punishment.

 

[Railer]

Sortie fifteen

Objectives: allow things to happen

Plan of action: meet friend

Exfil: home

Approaches: 1

Overall ADC: 17-9-0 (approach-details-close)

Result: ~

(The evening before I had run into white-dress. Her friend insisted on me coming out later to meet them, only to then never show up at any meeting point we tried to arrange.)

Incidentally run into tiny-frame and friend being spoken to by guy at the street corner. Greet both with kisses, compliment her with "wow - pretty!", introduce myself to guy, state "we’re surely going to run into each other later tonight", continue my path. About an hour later my friend sends me his location. As I arrive, I look at a girl on a bench. "Oh hi!", tiny-frame seems pleasantly surprised to see me again. Exchange some words. "Excuse me for not texting back, I had >imaginary disease<". "Yeah, I was sick too …", I say as I exit to greet my friend who had already been waiting for fifteen minutes.

We stroll for a bit. For how the world generally sucks, my mood is still terrible. He opens two-set of 20 y/o’s in park. They’re talkative and exceptionally likeable. Make an effort to be social myself, taking over the blonde. Quickly go into deep-diving. After about twenty minutes we decide to join to one of the bars. On the way, I let her tell me her strategy for stealing drinks from bars. Knot a chase-frame of how she’s trying to use the same tactics to sneakily steal my heart. Once at the bar I build a bit of a bubble for the two of us of how we gonna team up for a (ridiculously constructed) business. Had done incidental touch right from the start, leaving my forearm against her shoulder and now my leg against hers. Take her hand to get a closer look at her tattoo and make sure to generally look at her lips a lot. Friend asks her "relationship status". My interest to continues conversation dies with her response about a boyfriend, but overall the four of us get along great. After an hour, I pay my part of the bill, the girls pay theirs and my friend lets them take his share too. They leave for the toilet. And never return.

OLTR calls for second time at around 1 am. Pick up and once confirmed this is a check-up call, ask who died. Literally the only two times she called this month was in the middle of the night when she knew I was out with a friend.

Intel

• The amount of mentally retarded around … impressive;
• White-dress’es friend inviting me and tiny-frame trying to get back into conversation that night - wonder how come the girls need to run into me a second time in order to realize they might want to advance things.
• Friend had brought up age at the very start and then "relationship status" later. Explained to him how he's making things an issue that otherwise wouldn't be.

 

[Railer]

Sortie sixteen

Objectives: be open to making female friend

Plan of action: take swim at lake

Exfil: home

Approaches: 0

Overall ADC: 17-9-0 (approach-details-close)

Result: ~

Don’t feel like being around people, but make sure to set up spot where some are around. Coming here I had kept wondering how to stop looking at everything so negatively. While looking out onto the water, I notice the thoughts and the bad feelings suddenly gone and find myself realizing "Just be yourself" - as in, not searching for the bad in everything, but not for the good either, and behave in the moment as things unfold.

Later find myself sitting in town, bored. Can’t believe how two sisters can both have such equally sexy butts. I’m turned on. Very rare for me. Even though they often fall behind their family, idea of approaching seems ridiculous to me. Simply cannot imagine it possible that I could take it anywhere - or even just be charismatic enough to handle the parents. Remember how just a month back I was rather convinced that I’d only need to get good at approaching. Now success seems impossible.

After wasting a lot of time rather aimlessly strolling around, decide to head home. Young attractive woman gives me obvious gaze while the guy in her company isn’t looking.

The next day, for the first time again manage to do my workout before noon, as I used to instead of pushing it out until late afternoon and then taking an eternity to complete the sets.

Intel

• My mood changes seem random. Started to eat more fats, which I’m extremely low on. Maybe that is a factor. Also made some travel arrangements for next month. Having something to expect in the future probably helps too.
• Try to be less keen on fending off positivity. Feel like time is running out though, while thinking that being social would be dishonest. Lacking better ideas, will at least keep putting myself out there.
• Things seem to go in circles. What could I do to stay motivated? What could I do to get excited at opportunities - or at least see them as such?