After reading this blog for sometime I've decided to give this a try as, by all indications, I'm on the fast track to ending up old and alone. I've done online dating and gotten the predictable (for me?) results. No that I necessarily do all that bad as I managed to take home 3 girls in the last 3-4 weeks with 2 of them going from hello to naked in my bed in around 2 hours and the third taking three dates and a couple weeks. Still, they were just looking for hook-ups anyway and there really stands the possibility that basically any other guy could've been in my shoes and gotten the same results not to mention none were really attractive at all. That last point is actually something that bothers me to no end as I've never had an attractive women in my entire 37 years of life and I would like to at least once before I die.
To look at me you might be surprised at my lack of success with women as I'm very good-looking, have great hair, a good physique that I show off with tasteful, well fitting clothes, and good facial hair that women have complimented me on. I'm also very intelligent and genuinely funny but none of this really translates into success. There's still something in my personality and mannerisms that makes even your moderately normal and attractive woman go screaming for the hills (ok maybe not exactly that bad but still pretty close) and in fact until somewhat recently attractive women have regularly treated me with outright contempt. For the longest time I could never figure it out and to make matters worse no one would tell me what it was so I could at least work on it. For many years, and to some extent still today, I simply thought that there was some ineffable thing that was inherently wrong with me that only women could see. My suspicions were brought to a horrifying reality when, after a couple of unproductive dates with a girl I met online, she broke it off with me saying, "There's just something about you that makes me uncomfortable." I pressed her further but she still couldn't give me an answer. By the way all this is going somewhere so stay with me. That incident is what led me to search online to figure why girls act the way they do which led me here to Girlschase and years of gradual self-improvement. I started lifting weights and running again, took up boxing, joined toastmasters to improve my speaking along with meetup to improve my social skills. The hard part is how much I have working against me which is a very abusive childhood, a lifetime of ostracism in every social situation I've been in, recovery from heroin addiction on the streets of Detroit (if you met me you would never guess in a million years, I'm now very healthy and very straight edge), really low self-esteem, and bouts of severe depression. Still, nothing keeps me down.
Fast forward to tonight and after seemingly exhausting the supply of women I can get online, that being quite few, a sense of desperation came over me. I knew this wasn't going to get me the results I want and with the whole 40, never married, and no kids thing looming over me I decided to finally go out and start the newbie challenge. I could only manage a few compliments and smiling at people while I walked around and practiced my posture for a while. I didn't get any good reactions from the smiles and unfortunately the turn-out was low in the downtown area I visited. I also couldn't figure out how to say hi to girls walking away or towards me without looking like some weird fucker. I'll try again somewhere else tomorrow but I need some accountability as it's just me making this happen and I don't really have any friends to help me (I barely have any friends at all as people generally dislike me which is something else I'm working on). Not sure where I'll go but I will try to get in at least six hi's.
To look at me you might be surprised at my lack of success with women as I'm very good-looking, have great hair, a good physique that I show off with tasteful, well fitting clothes, and good facial hair that women have complimented me on. I'm also very intelligent and genuinely funny but none of this really translates into success. There's still something in my personality and mannerisms that makes even your moderately normal and attractive woman go screaming for the hills (ok maybe not exactly that bad but still pretty close) and in fact until somewhat recently attractive women have regularly treated me with outright contempt. For the longest time I could never figure it out and to make matters worse no one would tell me what it was so I could at least work on it. For many years, and to some extent still today, I simply thought that there was some ineffable thing that was inherently wrong with me that only women could see. My suspicions were brought to a horrifying reality when, after a couple of unproductive dates with a girl I met online, she broke it off with me saying, "There's just something about you that makes me uncomfortable." I pressed her further but she still couldn't give me an answer. By the way all this is going somewhere so stay with me. That incident is what led me to search online to figure why girls act the way they do which led me here to Girlschase and years of gradual self-improvement. I started lifting weights and running again, took up boxing, joined toastmasters to improve my speaking along with meetup to improve my social skills. The hard part is how much I have working against me which is a very abusive childhood, a lifetime of ostracism in every social situation I've been in, recovery from heroin addiction on the streets of Detroit (if you met me you would never guess in a million years, I'm now very healthy and very straight edge), really low self-esteem, and bouts of severe depression. Still, nothing keeps me down.
Fast forward to tonight and after seemingly exhausting the supply of women I can get online, that being quite few, a sense of desperation came over me. I knew this wasn't going to get me the results I want and with the whole 40, never married, and no kids thing looming over me I decided to finally go out and start the newbie challenge. I could only manage a few compliments and smiling at people while I walked around and practiced my posture for a while. I didn't get any good reactions from the smiles and unfortunately the turn-out was low in the downtown area I visited. I also couldn't figure out how to say hi to girls walking away or towards me without looking like some weird fucker. I'll try again somewhere else tomorrow but I need some accountability as it's just me making this happen and I don't really have any friends to help me (I barely have any friends at all as people generally dislike me which is something else I'm working on). Not sure where I'll go but I will try to get in at least six hi's.
