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next action after bad "sex"

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Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 30, 2022
Messages
45
yesterday night:
met this girl, obviously over tinder very sweet, American pie "4th of July" vibes, art.. -> went to bar, started was cute, then sexy, she started to be more open about how she used to party, i went full sex talk, ask her for walk

Few meters before my flat she asked about what I am looking for, i get honest answer about that I believe you we are not able to pick "what we looking for" and when you see you know. Open door to my building, she hesitates, really hesitates, i said no worry i can walk you out to your place but i kept it light and told her "it's just wine, we will talk, listen to music, of course i will hit on you but you are strong ;)) she came to my place, 10 mins in and we are kissing

bla bla bla -> we are naked, i ate her (i like it and have very good experiences), then went to fuck her -> "bla bla bla put on condom please"..ofc i am gentleman so i grab condom and BOOM -> my penis hit recession(very similar timing with Powel meeting..just sayin)

ok, no problem, kissing, hugging, she is doing me with hand, i am hard -> going for condom -> and BOOM, penis dead

ok no problem...etc. all together 4 FOOKIN TIMES

then we just hugging, i am whispering her nice things, spooning, kissing.I told her how sexy she is, It whole took cca 3 hours,(she also told me some compliments..) then i ordered her a uber, (not asking her go home, she told she is tired but also looked like she would maybe stay?,but it was very late..it was weird situation , i would be ok, actually i was hoping she would sleep but i think for first date it would be too much so when she told "i should go home" i told her i will call you uber) told her when you are at home text me (on tinder, still dont have number)

She texted me she is at her place, i said to her good night -> no response.
In the morning, i texted her how i enjoyed our time, how gorgeous she looks when she is naked and if she slept well.

Then she replied she slept very good, and also, thanks for yesterday, it was very nice :)

I know she is going for I believe 2 days out of city (possibly more).
Also, she was def not virgin, but also no hoe.

What is correct approach after bad sex?
Ask today/tomorrow for a number?
Or silence and ask her after cca 3 days for a nother date?
Where should be another date? A.g. cooking at my place? Or something low key? She likes minigolf and shit like that (i dont like things like this but not sure how she sees me now, during date i had feelings that she thinks I am player..but after bad sex)

Instinct is telling me to ask her for number, go off app and ask her for cooking at my place. But this happend to me once, cca 2 years ago, did not know about this site and after bad sex date it ended with nice msg from her, "it was nice but no for another meeting". (i did not have bad mood after bad sex even back then, but who know...vibes are vibes)
 
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throw

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 30, 2022
Messages
45
an update in case someone is curious (what not to do)



In the morning, i texted her how i enjoyed our time, how gorgeous she looks when she is naked and if she slept well.

Then she replied she slept very good(in her language it is -> i sleep till get pink", and also, thanks for yesterday, it was very nice :)


Then I was not sure what I should write, so i waited few hours and sent her in my eyes neutral "pink looks good on you"
(this exchange was day after sex)

then she did not answer till today, so 3 days (also she went out of city to countryside -> should be still there)
she wrote:
"Hi, I don't want to be classical ghoster...but i am still looking around (not sure how she meant this in her language,it could mean "she is still thinking/considering, or that "still looking around" literally)
I think, we could be good friends, nothing more.
I want to be honest and i don't like to dig into this things.
Have a nice days.



The issue is, ok, she is probably lost for me, but i have no idea where i did badly (except obvious -> no sex resp bad sex).

From that msg what she wrote, i get feeling that she thinks I am looking for relationship, so i was probably needy.
Before coming to my place she asked me about it, i told her no, i am not looking for it but also not avoiding it, i am going with the flow and dont fight the fate.
Then we "fucked", since i was not hard with condom we were cuddling and nice to each other. This could make her think that i was looking for relationship? What should I did differently?
No msg in the morning?
I doubt that pink looks good on you ruined it, but it could, it was too fast maybe?(back than i did not know if she thinks i am player who just failed or...so i just want her to keep her around in tinder, but with no action)



In my previous fuck up here; I get suggestion which I believe i can use now:
"
Because the reason why she sent you that text was because she feels like you may be trying to angle for a relationship

So you need to change that perception ASAP... I would text her and go over the following points

- She misread your intentions
- Empathize that this is a time in her life were she should be enjoying her freedom... PACE
- You like her energy but don't want to jump into anything quickly... QUALIFY & LEAD
- Just want to spend time enjoying each others company with low pressure and no expectations... LEAD

This will help ease her objections and give you room to move the seduction forward"


But overall, I am not sure what she looks for, i have troubles to read her and I believe when someone is reading this it is clear that she was either looking for just ONS and good sex or for relationship and i am just blind to it.

my questions are:
1. in case she was looking for ONS, i failed -> done (but..in this case, i dont understand why she did continue with communication..polite?)
2.she was not looking for relationship, i made her to come to my place, it sucked, she is polite good girl (but in that case..she answered next day on after sex msg, and that on that simple compliment msg wrote elaborate msg about ghosting, friendship etc...i think if she wouldn't care and would be just polite, i would get that msg sooner,... i believe she was thinking about me)


She definitely, did not look experienced, it was also very easy to get her to my place. In bad also..shy.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
5,075
yesterday night:
met this girl, obviously over tinder very sweet, American pie "4th of July" vibes, art.. -> went to bar, started was cute, then sexy, she started to be more open about how she used to party, i went full sex talk, ask her for walk

Few meters before my flat she asked about what I am looking for, i get honest answer about that I believe you we are not able to pick "what we looking for" and when you see you know. Open door to my building, she hesitates, really hesitates, i said no worry i can walk you out to your place but i kept it light and told her "it's just wine, we will talk, listen to music, of course i will hit on you but you are strong ;)) she came to my place, 10 mins in and we are kissing

bla bla bla -> we are naked, i ate her (i like it and have very good experiences), then went to fuck her -> "bla bla bla put on condom please"..ofc i am gentleman so i grab condom and BOOM -> my penis hit recession(very similar timing with Powel meeting..just sayin)

ok, no problem, kissing, hugging, she is doing me with hand, i am hard -> going for condom -> and BOOM, penis dead

ok no problem...etc. all together 4 FOOKIN TIMES

then we just hugging, i am whispering her nice things, spooning, kissing.I told her how sexy she is, It whole took cca 3 hours,(she also told me some compliments..) then i ordered her a uber, (not asking her go home, she told she is tired but also looked like she would maybe stay?,but it was very late..it was weird situation , i would be ok, actually i was hoping she would sleep but i think for first date it would be too much so when she told "i should go home" i told her i will call you uber) told her when you are at home text me (on tinder, still dont have number)

She texted me she is at her place, i said to her good night -> no response.
In the morning, i texted her how i enjoyed our time, how gorgeous she looks when she is naked and if she slept well.

Then she replied she slept very good, and also, thanks for yesterday, it was very nice :)

I know she is going for I believe 2 days out of city (possibly more).
Also, she was def not virgin, but also no hoe.

What is correct approach after bad sex?
Ask today/tomorrow for a number?
Or silence and ask her after cca 3 days for a nother date?
Where should be another date? A.g. cooking at my place? Or something low key? She likes minigolf and shit like that (i dont like things like this but not sure how she sees me now, during date i had feelings that she thinks I am player..but after bad sex)

Instinct is telling me to ask her for number, go off app and ask her for cooking at my place. But this happend to me once, cca 2 years ago, did not know about this site and after bad sex date it ended with nice msg from her, "it was nice but no for another meeting". (i did not have bad mood after bad sex even back then, but who know...vibes are vibes)


this happens it happens to me many times, fortunately i had strong interactions and was able to recover... For me it happened in public places (bathrooms, parks, alley ways) no my thing, i get too nervous and uncomfortable, most players have 0 issues..... Another time it happened to me is when the girl had a picture of her dead dad and religuious stuff in her room, that fucked with my head.....

- That is why for first time sex, i usually just in case always have (genetic viagra) as insurance and take it 10-15 minutes if i have a feel the lay will happen, i only do this with first time lays, it has a placebo effect but it also pumps blood to your dick so you get the best of both words...
if the lay does not happen you will get a massive headack and you will be a walking trip pod.

I could not find the report were this happened to me it was in nexasf and i did not put in my blog, if i find it i will edit...But basically i did a lot of second gen. sex talk she was so fantazizing thinking i was a sex god, and looking forward to fuck me, and total disaster... She did not lose interest and still gave me more chances, we became really good friends after, at the time i was so traumatized i did not try again and friendzone her...
 

throw

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 30, 2022
Messages
45
this happens it happens to me many times, fortunately i had strong interactions and was able to recover... For me it happened in public places (bathrooms, parks, alley ways) no my thing, i get too nervous and uncomfortable, most players have 0 issues..... Another time it happened to me is when the girl had a picture of her dead dad and religuious stuff in her room, that fucked with my head.....

- That is why for first time sex, i usually just in case always have (genetic viagra) as insurance and take it 10-15 minutes if i have a feel the lay will happen, i only do this with first time lays, it has a placebo effect but it also pumps blood to your dick so you get the best of both words...
if the lay does not happen you will get a massive headack and you will be a walking trip pod.

I could not find the report were this happened to me it was in nexasf and i did not put in my blog, if i find it i will edit...But basically i did a lot of second gen. sex talk she was so fantazizing thinking i was a sex god, and looking forward to fuck me, and total disaster... She did not lose interest and still gave me more chances, we became really good friends after, at the time i was so traumatized i did not try again and friendzone her...
Thank you.
How you recovered?
So it was all ruined by bad sex ? Fuck.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
5,075
Thank you.
How you recovered?
So it was all ruined by bad sex ? Fuck.

I was so embarrassed and i ghosted made a post on nexasf similar to this one.... as dudes were answering she reached out lol, and i went self deprecation, saying how embarrassed i was for over promising and under delivering, she say that is ok, and then it was convo as usual, she still was game and interested, we mess around couple of times after, i never pursue sex again i got chicken out (ego), but i had other girls..
 

throw

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 30, 2022
Messages
45
So an update:

she wrote:
"Hi, I don't want to be classical ghoster...but i am still looking around (not sure how she meant this in her language,it could mean "she is still thinking/considering, or that "still looking around" literally)
I think, we could be good friends, nothing more.
I want to be honest and i don't like to dig into this things. Have a nice days.



I waited for a day and replied something like:
classical ghoster doesn't have such cute boobies ( we played with them a lot).
Where did you get feeling that i want to be more then friend? just because i was nice you? I like to say nice things to girls, you are best;)..i feel it natural ..btw i would go destroy you on minigolf (she offered it as a first date). No boobies, no sexy time, just me, you, holes and your crying face after loss.



Tried to go with spirit of :
She misread your intentions
- Empathize that this is a time in her life were she should be enjoying her freedom... PACE
- You like her energy but don't want to jump into anything quickly... QUALIFY & LEAD
- Just want to spend time enjoying each others company with low pressure and no expectations... LEAD




Just experimenting here, probably another friend zone.



She liked that msg and is down for a minigolf.(5days from my msg, according to tinder distance, she is still in woods)
 
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