Nice Guy Fail on Facebook

[authenticSelf]

So I have known this girl for atleast 1 year since we took classes. She was chubby but got a great job and started working out. Suddenly transformed into a 10 from 7. She is tall, blonde and such a nice girl, judging by how she loves and entertains even elder folks.

She was in a relationship for atleast 4 years and after graduating college, was living with her job-struggling boyfriend. I ran into her at a craft fair and made a point to go talk with her. I did not flirt much but maybe I deep dived and challenged her a bit. Asked after her bf, who she said was struggling with jobs. When we parted, I did not initiate any hugs or touch although it could have been normal.

Saw her on Tinder, Hinge this month! She has probably broken up with her bf. My motherly co-worker encouraged me to ask her out when I asked for her advice. I had to ask her out on Facebook (I swiped right on both dating apps). No answer.

On Facebook, my message was "Hi ___, I happened to be on Tinder and saw that you were on there too. Would you be interested in getting together for coffee?". Seen but no answer.

What could I have done better? I could have been indirect and engaged her.

 

[Cody Lyans]

You only should ask a girl out after a SPIKE in her attraction levels, so after shes burst out laughing etc or after she has giggled and given you eyes. If you just slam it down cold, girls will look desperate if they even acknowledge it. As for what to do now, I'd say "I have too many cookies I stole from a girl scout troop, I am trying to find coffee drinkers to take some, you a fan of girl scout cookies or more of a choc chip fan"
Just making it light hearted, then disqualifying your interest in her by brazenly admitting a flaw, then generalising who you are willing to go and meet, trivialising the reason, and asking a double positive question so she is reset onto talking about cookies and doesn't need to follow the original ask out thread.

Then your mission after that would be to make her laugh, 20% chance she'll respond to my message though, as response probability drops if you send out a flop on the first text

 

[authenticSelf]

Thanks @Cody Lyans I will try this because I'm at my rope's end and I have no hopes.

Do you have an example of a double positive question?

 

[Cody Lyans]

Thanks @Cody Lyans I will try this because I'm at my rope's end and I have no hopes.

Do you have an example of a double positive question?

Oh its just like, what time is better for you, 8 or 10
Or which phone do you have, you an apple girl or do you mix it up with a sony or something quirky like a samsung xplode series

The idea is just to get them focusing on different degrees of a positive answer, rather than a yes no binary choice
I caaaaant remember what its called in sales but I know they use it too.
But yeah, with girls, you always go light hearted, you always add silly tangents to get distracted on and leave dead topics with, and you always make it easy to respond positively, and chuck in lots of benefits

Thats the general idea anyway

 

[Skills]

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On Facebook, my message was "Hi ___, I happened to be on Tinder and saw that you were on there too. Would you be interested in getting together for coffee?". Seen but no answer.

What could I have done better? I could have been indirect and engaged her.

that was really bad, cause you are putting her on the spot by going so direct to a sc type situation....

- A lot of girls get trigger asd, since tinder "hook up site". So she may even get embarrassed by this...

- by going so direct you cause a knee jerk reaction.... "would you be interested on coffee" instead of she telling you no which is uncomfortable, it is easier for her to give you the "no" by no responding...

she probably won't reply... but now the ball in on her court, do not re angage...till she does....

in the future look for the class or that co worker angle to start the convo, casual indirectly, make her invest a bit at the point of high investment is were indirectly, hint a low pressure meet, we should catch up.... while not talking about tinder etc... since she did not match up with you for a reason.