- Joined
- Jul 17, 2013
- Messages
- 1,539
Hi friends,
I had an interesting experience in the last few days. I will try to recount in as entertaining a way as possible so that you will help me not fuck up!
At the offices where I work, some of my colleagues last week had a meeting with representatives of our parent company. The parent is located in a neighboring country and the visitors had traveled to meet us. I was not directly involved in the discussions.
Mid-afternoon, one of my own colleagues came out of a conference room and asked me whether I could briefly join to explain an issue that is central to my expertise. I agreed and followed him back into the room.
Sitting opposite the entrance was the young man who had expressed an interest in my knowledge; I knew him superficially after a few meetings at his offices in the neighboring country. At the far end of the conference table, by the window, sat the colleague who had fetched me, another coworker of mine, and a woman I didn’t recognize. When my colleague sat back down they resumed discussion of a completely separate issue and I ignored them, thinking that they needed to proceed with unrelated business.
I greeted the young man politely, shook his hand, and exchanged a few pleasantries before commencing my explanation of the issue he had requested. At this point, to my surprise, the young woman at the far end of the table, whom I did not recall ever seeing before, deliberately caught my eye, smiled and inquired “How are you?”
We’ll call her “Nightingale”, for a fancy that she was singing to me, but I was asleep ;-)
I paused fractionally, stared back at her and responded “Very well thank you, how are you?”
I thought to myself, I have literally no idea who that is.
Ignoring the unexpected interruption, I continued with my explanation of the issue. Those by the window reprised their separate discussion and at some point they must have left the room.
I concluded business, agreed on next steps and wished the young man well with the remainder of his visit. I was about to leave the room but held the door for two ladies coming back in. One was a colleague of mine. The other was Nightingale.
I briefly greeted my colleague and exchanged pleasantries, as she also works in the neighboring country office and we see each other maybe once in two weeks. Then Nightingale piped up again: “How are you?”
By this point alarms were starting to go off in my head. Sycophancy could maybe be expected from a junior male colleague in this position, but girls these days tend to have high self-regard. I responded in kind, in a courteous but entirely cursory manner, and was about to walk off when she said:
She thanked me and I left to take my seat. She disappeared back into the conference room.
I sat for a moment in confusion. Something was off. She had greeted me like an old acquaintance, yet I didn’t recognize her. She had gone out of her way to get my attention. Several times. And she was… kinda cute.
At that moment she came back out of the conference room. My colleague was taking to her, giving directions to the kitchen. They parted company and my colleague went off upstairs.
I gave it a decent interval, then headed for the kitchen myself.
Nightingale was there alone. I walked in and immediately repeated my words from earlier. I wanted at least to figure out who this was, for the sake of my own curiosity.
I made myself some tea and busied myself in conversation with her. I asked how things were in the neighboring country, as I have lived there myself in the past. This led us to a discussion of where she was from, and we discovered that I spoke her native language fluently.
We switched into her language and continued the conversation.
Not long after, one of the people she was meeting with that day entered the kitchen and dragged her back off to the meeting.
Later that afternoon it hit me. I had spoken to her for about a half-hour on the phone, several months prior. I had had no idea that we shared another language. It had been a business issue and I remembered that I had been pretty curt as her boss's boss had been pushing for a change in a project that was entirely inappropriate. I had later confirmed that we stick with the status quo, in writing to her boss's boss, with her in copy, and he had replied to agree to it. The company has a miniature photograph in the address book, and when I squinted at the microscopic picture I could just about confirm it was indeed Nightingale. How she had recognized me was a mystery.
When the team from the parent company left that day, I timed it so I would be walking through past the elevators as they waited. There is a heavy door between the offices and the elevator lobby. As I leaned out to speak with them, Nightingale, completely unnecessarily, held this door for me.
I concluded the goodbyes to the rest of the team as quick as possible and then spoke to Nightingale in her native language, asking whether they would be back soon and saying I hoped she would feel better next time. One of the females on the team whom I get along with very well was grinning at me the whole time.
Two days later I thought of calling Nightingale and inquiring about her health, but the company address book told me she was absent and had not been seen for days. I assumed she was not better and after some dithering, I wrote her the following “little note”, in her own language of course:
This was a bit of a risk as I was concerned with “losing power”, as described here. However, if she liked me it would probably work. If not, she could just ignore it… no one could say I was putting undue pressure on a business contact.
To my slight surprise, I received the following response around lunchtime Monday:
I mean, it’s not a bad start. Feels like I need to avoid fucking up more than anything else. This could turn into a nice little romantic intrigue but it seems I need to avoid putting too much on the table, evaporating the mystery and thus breaking the spell.
Any recommendations are highly appreciated and gratefully accepted.
Marty
I had an interesting experience in the last few days. I will try to recount in as entertaining a way as possible so that you will help me not fuck up!
At the offices where I work, some of my colleagues last week had a meeting with representatives of our parent company. The parent is located in a neighboring country and the visitors had traveled to meet us. I was not directly involved in the discussions.
Mid-afternoon, one of my own colleagues came out of a conference room and asked me whether I could briefly join to explain an issue that is central to my expertise. I agreed and followed him back into the room.
Sitting opposite the entrance was the young man who had expressed an interest in my knowledge; I knew him superficially after a few meetings at his offices in the neighboring country. At the far end of the conference table, by the window, sat the colleague who had fetched me, another coworker of mine, and a woman I didn’t recognize. When my colleague sat back down they resumed discussion of a completely separate issue and I ignored them, thinking that they needed to proceed with unrelated business.
I greeted the young man politely, shook his hand, and exchanged a few pleasantries before commencing my explanation of the issue he had requested. At this point, to my surprise, the young woman at the far end of the table, whom I did not recall ever seeing before, deliberately caught my eye, smiled and inquired “How are you?”
We’ll call her “Nightingale”, for a fancy that she was singing to me, but I was asleep ;-)
I paused fractionally, stared back at her and responded “Very well thank you, how are you?”
I thought to myself, I have literally no idea who that is.
Ignoring the unexpected interruption, I continued with my explanation of the issue. Those by the window reprised their separate discussion and at some point they must have left the room.
I concluded business, agreed on next steps and wished the young man well with the remainder of his visit. I was about to leave the room but held the door for two ladies coming back in. One was a colleague of mine. The other was Nightingale.
I briefly greeted my colleague and exchanged pleasantries, as she also works in the neighboring country office and we see each other maybe once in two weeks. Then Nightingale piped up again: “How are you?”
By this point alarms were starting to go off in my head. Sycophancy could maybe be expected from a junior male colleague in this position, but girls these days tend to have high self-regard. I responded in kind, in a courteous but entirely cursory manner, and was about to walk off when she said:
I turned back and stared at her briefly, incredulously. Whoever she was, she was perhaps 15 years my junior, and besides, I didn’t recognize her at all. Didn’t she know I had work to do? And yet here she was, telling me about a minor health complaint and to all appearances appealing for sympathy. But there was something in her manner that softened me, touched my humanity. So my next words were from the heart:
She thanked me and I left to take my seat. She disappeared back into the conference room.
I sat for a moment in confusion. Something was off. She had greeted me like an old acquaintance, yet I didn’t recognize her. She had gone out of her way to get my attention. Several times. And she was… kinda cute.
At that moment she came back out of the conference room. My colleague was taking to her, giving directions to the kitchen. They parted company and my colleague went off upstairs.
I gave it a decent interval, then headed for the kitchen myself.
Nightingale was there alone. I walked in and immediately repeated my words from earlier. I wanted at least to figure out who this was, for the sake of my own curiosity.
I made myself some tea and busied myself in conversation with her. I asked how things were in the neighboring country, as I have lived there myself in the past. This led us to a discussion of where she was from, and we discovered that I spoke her native language fluently.
We switched into her language and continued the conversation.
Not long after, one of the people she was meeting with that day entered the kitchen and dragged her back off to the meeting.
Later that afternoon it hit me. I had spoken to her for about a half-hour on the phone, several months prior. I had had no idea that we shared another language. It had been a business issue and I remembered that I had been pretty curt as her boss's boss had been pushing for a change in a project that was entirely inappropriate. I had later confirmed that we stick with the status quo, in writing to her boss's boss, with her in copy, and he had replied to agree to it. The company has a miniature photograph in the address book, and when I squinted at the microscopic picture I could just about confirm it was indeed Nightingale. How she had recognized me was a mystery.
When the team from the parent company left that day, I timed it so I would be walking through past the elevators as they waited. There is a heavy door between the offices and the elevator lobby. As I leaned out to speak with them, Nightingale, completely unnecessarily, held this door for me.
I concluded the goodbyes to the rest of the team as quick as possible and then spoke to Nightingale in her native language, asking whether they would be back soon and saying I hoped she would feel better next time. One of the females on the team whom I get along with very well was grinning at me the whole time.
Two days later I thought of calling Nightingale and inquiring about her health, but the company address book told me she was absent and had not been seen for days. I assumed she was not better and after some dithering, I wrote her the following “little note”, in her own language of course:
(shamelessly stolen from Chase’s article)
This was a bit of a risk as I was concerned with “losing power”, as described here. However, if she liked me it would probably work. If not, she could just ignore it… no one could say I was putting undue pressure on a business contact.
To my slight surprise, I received the following response around lunchtime Monday:
I mean, it’s not a bad start. Feels like I need to avoid fucking up more than anything else. This could turn into a nice little romantic intrigue but it seems I need to avoid putting too much on the table, evaporating the mystery and thus breaking the spell.
Any recommendations are highly appreciated and gratefully accepted.
Marty
