No emotional connection

[phuasjn2]

I feel like I cant ever do a deep dive and connect emotionally. Like I get repartee and push pull, chase frames and I can do them and be fun and entertaining. Recently I also learnt how to express myself emotionally (example at bottom), but I have problems getting her to connect with me.

Expressing emotions
For example if I were to describe my ukulele group, I would previously have said, it was a fun experience learning how to play the ukulele with my group. Now I would say it was a crazy experience, I had literally zero music background so I was really nervous when I met my group as they were all experienced players. But I was totally blown away when I met them, because they were really nice and ...

P.S. My entire encounters for today
Girl 1 and 2, I was pre-gaming by asking for directions
Girl 3 and 4 was the first 2 set that I have done

Girl 5 sitting on steps (This was the longest conversation this outing)
I went over to sit beside her
Me: Hi, do you know where xxx is?
Her: I am not too sure also I am not from here.
Me: Actually I just saw you sitting here and I really liked your big eyes. My name's xxx

I extended my arm and shook hers

Her: My name's jw
Me: Oh wow isnt that the name of the city in Malaysia
Her: My name's jw not jb
Me: Anyway thanks for waiting for me. Sorry the train was late and I made you wait for like 1 hr (Chase framing, I just met her today)
Her: It's okay I am waiting for my friends here.
Me: Oh so you are not from around here?
Her: Yeah I am from Malaysia. I am on holiday
Me: Nice, how long are you staying for?
Her: My 2nd last day here, I am going back tomorrow. Where do you stay?
Me: I'm all the way at the east side you know Bedok?
Her: Dont know (confused look) Is it like clementi
Me: Yup but on the other side. Where are you staying at?
Her: Admirality
Me: Wow that like so far away. How long did u even take to come here
Her: Yeah, very far
Me: So you prefer Malaysia or Singapore? (We are in Singapore)
Her: Singapore
Me: Thats interesting, but why Singapore and not your home country after you spend so much time there.
Her: I like the city area
Me: So you prefer like city instead of like the rural areas and thats why you come here.
Her: Yeah

(short pause)

Me: Are you working or studying?
Her: Studying
Me: So you are in university?
Her: Nope erm I am in like high school
Me: Thats cool, what hobbies do u like?
Her: I play musical instruments, like piano, guitar. How about you do you play music?
Me: Yeah abit of piano when I was younger and even my ukulele haha. I showed her my phone with a picture of me playing my ukulele.
Her: (nods)

(short pause)

Me: Let me add you on my phone. Do you have a Singapore number?
Her: Nope, I only have Malaysian one.
Me: Telegram?

We exchanged numbers. Then I did something silly

Me: Oh wait let me rmb you name. ah crap I forgot
Her: My name's jw
Me: What does it stand for?
She hesitates and pauses and refuses to say.

I continued chatting with her for a couple of minutes, then I said I was going to walk over there because it was cooler. She wanted to continue waiting for her friend. So I just stood and left her.

 

[Rakehell]

In this situation you were forcing rapport by not breaking out of the small talk structure of conversation, when you topic jump like that you’ll find it becomes increasingly harder and harder for the conversation to flow.

Where are you from? *answer* , are you in school *answer*, what kind of food do you like? These were topics you could’ve expanded on

You should approach every question you ask like a sub topic that can be expanded on, and instead of trying to drag out the conversation by repeatedly asking questions expand with your own take and bring her into your reality.

“So you prefer the city instead of rural areas?”

“yeah”

“Isn’t it funny how that works, i’m from a rural area too but every time i’m in the city it feels as though there’s a new adventure to be had. Don’t get me wrong there’s nothing like home, but in places like these every day’s a new opportunity that are sometimes too sweet to pass up on

you actually impress me a bit

*wait for her to answer*

well most people are intimidated by city life, they’re stuck in their own heads and it makes it harder to experience the things right in front of them, but you strike as me confident, like you’ve done this a million times, and you’re focused really attuned to everything city life has to offer”

Doesn’t have to be that drawn out but usually when she isn’t investing into the conversation much it’s your turn to relate to her and give her something to work with

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

Recently I also learnt how to express myself emotionally (example at bottom), but I have problems getting her to connect with me.

Seems like you're running through the each stage of the seduction sequence without getting the right feedback to move forward.
Nothing about the conversation you had above suggests that there was any reason for her to be interested in you. It's just a series of rapid fire questions and statements, followed by short informational answers.

A chick has to have a reason to want to connect with you.

Have you given her one?

Is there enough interest/curiosity/attraction that she wants to keep interacting with you, keep being around you, and want to find out more about you?

A chick just answering basic questions is not her being attracted. It's the start of, but not the full level of attraction needed.

If that attraction is not there, then she doesn't want to open up to you and doesn't care if you open up to her.

Moreover, with a daytime attempt like this one (sounds like daytime at least), where you swoop in, say some stuff, grab the number - the deeper/"get to know you" stuff will come on the date. (if there is a date)

WIA