Man-O,
I'm confused by your advice Franco. I've noted that most the successful puas (GLL, Wayne & Willy B.) have tons of hand holding, kisses and other stuff on their dates. Is that because they're doing same-day-lays or is their MO different and just as good?
That depends on whether or not you believe those guys are actually successful! =)
How much contact you use has nothing to do with the instance (first date/same day) and more to do with what level you are at. From what I've observed, if you're a guy who's more experienced and has extremely good fundamentals (solid eye contact, great posture, well-timed sexy smiles, etc.), you're going to have a much easier time getting girls back to your place with minimal contact. There's a definite allure to the man who can sit directly across from you with extreme confidence and make you feel like you WANT him to touch you.
A great example of this type of man is George Clooney from this scene in the movie "Out of Sight":
Do you get the feeling there that Clooney needed to be touching her all over to convey his intentions? Or did his fundamentals speak for itself?
For instance I did tons of hand holding, kissing (she slowly started being more susceptible to my kisses for each time we did). Was trying to frame out making dinner together by her place (still don't have own flat) but she had a friend over and we agreed to have her text me when we could. She texted me the day after and we got a second date up.
Another was the same way on the date with same procedure (café, street- and park walk). She also lived with some people and in this case a bit far away. This girl however seemed more into me but didn't text back. So far I can't see the advantages in NOT kinoing on dates.
Wouldn't the meat be much more tender if you heat it up over a longer time period?
Hand-holding is almost always a big "no-no" for me. Remember, you're trying to convey "I want to make intense, passionate love to you" and not "I want to be your boyfriend and take you on more dates first."
As far as other types of touch, from what I've noticed, lots of "touching" on a date conveys that you're NOT at George Clooney's level. If you're dating an extremely attractive woman who's been on hundreds of dates with relatively attractive men, you can bet that she's been "kino'd" to the
nth degree over and over again, and there's something about it that tells her that you're not good enough to make her want you WITHOUT touching her. It's kind of hard to explain this until you've seen or experienced it with high-caliber women before.
The big advantage of not using kino is that it leaves that "mysteriousness" in the air -- she can tell you're a very sexual man by your demeanor, but you haven't made a physical move yet. Are you going to make one? Are you waiting to make one? She feels like the intention is there, but the physical evidence is not. A lot of times, I feel like this translates to the girl being more willing to come home with you because you haven't made it
overly obvious what you want, but there's enough allure there to get the feeling that maybe you're a "level above the rest."
Don't get me wrong, though. Kino still works on dates, and if suits your style (as Ray mentioned), then feel free to use it. I'm just stating my personal observations, and I've grown much fonder of sitting directly in front of a woman and seducing her the way Clooney does in the video above. Maybe it's because 99% of women have never been seduced that way, and there's something extremely attractive about it (as if it were something out of a movie... because it is!)
Also, I should note that I feel like it's
far more important to get her home than it is create a ton of sexual tension on a date. It's a lot easier to take a girl who feels sexually neutral toward you and lead her toward sex once she's over at your place than it is to lay a girl who's extremely sexually receptive to you but still hasn't agreed to go home with you. I put much more priority on getting the girl to an escalation location first; if she agrees to go that far, then it's much more likely that sex will occur, regardless of her current state or mood (which can be changed within a minute's notice once she's alone with you).
EDIT: I believe our Tribal Elder
NarrowJ also runs his dates more like mine (with less kino and more focus on fundamentals) as I believe its his preference.
- Franco
