Not able to push myself when Daygaming solo

[Spyce D]

It's so tough for me to just approach a chick during my commute or If I am Daygaming solo.

I just don't know how to push myself to do it .

Like , I would even go near the chick but would just walk past her .

And cuz of this , I am missing a lot .

Need help as in how do I push myself to take action without having a wing .

 

[DarkKnight]

This is approach anxiety. Give yourself a smaller mission like asking directions or something and then slowly escalate from there. You need a bit of desensitation

 

[Spyce D]

This is approach anxiety. Give yourself a smaller mission like asking directions or something and then slowly escalate from there. You need a bit of desensitation

Have already done the directions.

And yeah ... I see that I need to slightly escalate by giving them compliments after the directional/ indirect opener .

I had already done this but never solo ....thats why I am able to go direct / bold if my wing is there .

 

[Bill]

Make it a habit to talk to everyone you see and spend more time in public places to build social momentum.

Try approaching a girl but just complimenting her as you walk by her, and do this 5-6 times. It can create a positive pattern and make your anxiety decrease.

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

I've always had this issue too except for maybe my peak 2 years I was over it... currently struggling with this again too, though. The only thing I found to help is to start warming up IMMEDIATELY. As soon as you arrive in whatever venue you want to game, open the FIRST woman you see, doesn't matter if she's fat, old, ugly, with other people, open open open. Indirect stuff, informational, situational. Try to keep these interactions goign as long as you can with small talk and banter. Do five of those and you should be able to start doing indirect stuff.

I would not throw compliments in this state. You won't have the right vibe for direct game and they're too steep a gradient.

 

[Police dog]

open the FIRST woman you see, doesn't matter if she's fat, old, ugly, with other people, open open open. Indirect stuff, informational, situational. Try

This is called the flow state, very powerful tool. Don’t even have to be women at first, just small talk with bunch of random people.

 

[Gladiator]

Let me try to address it from a different angle:

What is it you find comfortable/easier when approaching with your wing?

I find daygaming solo a lot more efficient than with a wing for a few reasons:
- There's nobody to judge me except the girl whom I'll not see again
- I'll not waste my time chit-chatting with the wing
- Daygame is like meditation for me. I'm fully present and aware of myself and surroundings. I don't want to have interruptions
- You can go on an instant date or have long conversations without the guilt of ditching your wing
- Unless your wing is an advanced guy, the feedback you get may not be 100% useful and sometimes may give you wrong feedback
- You're not dependent on another person and can go out whenever you want

These are some things that I can think off the top of my head. There maybe a lot more benefits of solo Daygame.

Have you considered it may just be in your head as a cop-out to not approach? If so, like others have mentioned already, there are few things you could try.

Good luck mate!

 

[DarkJedi]

I also prefer going out solo for the reasons mentioned by @Gladiator, especially because I can be completely independent and can do instant dates.

What helps me a lot whenever I have a hesitation to approach is to take it as an experiment. "Hmm, I wonder what will happen if I approach her in this scenario". What you're essentially doing is tricking your brain to not be attached to the outcome, to not have the need to "make something happen".

You need a few positive reference experiences of going out solo, and then it will also get easier. Maybe after day gaming with a wing for a day, go out alone the next day to take advantage of the positive momentum of the previous day.

Also, meditating before going out helps me as well.

 

[James D]

Need help as in how do I push myself to take action without having a wing .

By setting the right expectations from the start.

Approaching is never easy, definitely not at the start of your journey.

You've gotta accept that it's gonna be hard.

You have to step into that fear, into that tension, into that potential embarrassment.

The mindset is:

"I feel scared/nervous/uncomfortable, I feel it intensely but I'm gonna show up anyway"

You HAVE to show up because that's the only way to learn.

You push yourself by pushing yourself.

That part is on you.

That's when the "how bad do you want it" question pops up

Because it will be uncomfortable and it will feel like swimming against current.

But you've gotta do it.

Feel whatever emotion it is that is not allowing you to approach these girls, acknowledge it, take a step forward anyway, even if the whole world is crumbling around, come out of it and congratulate yourself.

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

How I got out of this:

If I’m having an outing and I realize I start being super picky with the women or waiting for the perfect chance then I know my anxious mind is the problem.

So what’s the solution?

Go into impulse mode, be extremely impulsive with approaching.

Anytime you find a woman that you think is attractive (doesn’t have to be very attractive) you go for it.

This will take discipline the first couple times, it will feel like forcing yourself to do something that is really uncomfortable.

Because that’s exactly what’s happening.

Impulse mode is good for defeating AA

However when you develop approach addiction you’ll want to start screening a little.

But this time your screening will be realistic, not just an anxious mind being cockblocky.

But that’s far off, just get into the habit of approaching for now

I remember my first few outings at the mall, I was so proud of myself that I did 1 approach. And it was hard.

I was SO focused on just slowly increasing my approach average

That should be your goal

I remember someone said in an GC article “Approach Anxiety is the entrance fee for pick up”

Very true

AA is the first thing any seducer must master when they are working on infields

But anyways best of luck,

BIGGUS

 

[Spyce D]

Ok guys , today I did pickup solo.

Direct Opened 2 sets .

Chicks were really happy .

It will easier from now , I believe.

 

[Ronnie]

I start with something that could lead to both a direct or indirect opener. Something like: "Excuse me, I was on my way to the supermarket but..."

then if I am feeling like a shy boy I proceed with"... I don't remember which way it is. Can you help me?"
if I am feeling like a man I proceed with ".... I had to stop for a second to tell you look so cute / interesting / cool"


If you repeat this process several times in a week, at some point your unconscious will say "fuck it" and go for the second and you will have done at least a couple direct approaches a week.

 

[Spyce D]

I start with something that could lead to both a direct or indirect opener. Something like: "Excuse me, I was on my way to the supermarket but..."

then if I am feeling like a shy boy I proceed with"... I don't remember which way it is. Can you help me?"
if I am feeling like a man I proceed with ".... I had to stop for a second to tell you look so cute / interesting / cool"


If you repeat this process several times in a week, at some point your unconscious will say "fuck it" and go for the second and you will have done at least a couple direct approaches a week.

You are late

Already went through this phase

 

[Chase]

@Spyce D,

To mirror what others are saying, start with these:

How Naturals Meet Girls and Get Laid

One of the big mysteries for a lot of guys who are new to pickup is just how, exactly, men who are ‘naturals’ with women meet enough women to have the partner volume they do. If you’ve ever had a talented natural friend, you’ll notice it seems like he never does a cold approach, and spends most...

www.girlschase.com

Tactics Tuesdays: The Warm-Up Approach

In straightforward parlance, a ‘warm-up approach’ is an approach you make to get your social gears lubricated for a day or night meeting new women. The warm-up approach is a simple concept to get one’s head around, but a lot of men still don’t use it. It’s one of the best tools out there though...

www.girlschase.com

Then once you're ready, move on to this:

Can You Approach 4 Girls Per Day for 30 Days?

If you can do 4 approaches per day for 30 days straight, you can build some incredible momentum – and get some fantastic new women into your life. A few nights ago, a friend of mine had a woman he describes as quite beautiful, with whom he's built a great connection over the past few weeks and...

www.girlschase.com

Chase

 

[Spyce D]

Can You Approach 4 Girls Per Day for 30 Days?

If you can do 4 approaches per day for 30 days straight, you can build some incredible momentum – and get some fantastic new women into your life. A few nights ago, a friend of mine had a woman he describes as quite beautiful, with whom he's built a great connection over the past few weeks and...

www.girlschase.com

Chase

Currently , I am on this arc only but my range is 2-6 per day since last Saturday .

I have been able to have convos with around 8 chicks ( direct / situational openers ) ranging from 3 - 10 minutes .

Have opened 2-sets , 4-sets .

I have got new problems now ....that I am able to have conversations but because I haven't been following any kind of structure . ( It's just banter+ natural game ) ... I am not able to close the chicks I want to close and ... The chicks I did close ( 2 this week) have completely flaked .

(Note : I asked for their numbers ..but one gave me her snap ...other gave me her insta .)

AA is no longer an issue that once was .

New issues are time management, emotional management , flake management , closing more number of chicks or taking to them on insta dates .

And there are some folks who say that game is easy ...just go and talk to them .

Like ofc , opening and talking is easy but getting insta dates , solid digits , lays , relationships need skill .

Edit: the insta chick didn't flake ...I need to stop jumping to conclusions if things get a bit late .

 

[Lucky]

I have got new problems now ....that I am able to have conversations but because I haven't been following any kind of structure . ( It's just banter+ natural game ) ...

Structure
Going into the more technical side here but...

For structure I tend to use Guns 3 keys/ SMMA to take note of where I am and where I can flow to on what to do
when I started focusing on that it helped me out quite a bit

Gunwitch on 3 Keys
Bacchus on 3 Keys/ 3 legged Chair
(check out the Gun podcast and his other articles for more info)

Other articles/ alternate structure

Alek (his indirect series is gold) -This pretty much covers everything in the seduction and links to key articles, the second link is also very good

Bacchus- Transition phase structure (works in tandem with Guns 3 keys) -provides tech based on the phase (His podcasts are also applicable 2nd one covers transition phase structure and consistency)

Chase uses his developed VAC (value, attainability, compliance) which is on the main site and SAC (one date model) (similarity, arousal, compliance)

(there are better links for VAC and SAC, just can't remember off the top of my head..., feel free to search)


(there's potentially one I missed, point is to look around the site and see what you can find.
most issues here have been covered via an article)

Pick one that resonates with you and zero in on that and follow the process



Number Closing

Additionally you said you had issues number closing the ones you want

I use Skills's way of number closing of giving them my number (dodging the knee jerk reaction and social media) then calling from their phone to confirm it

additionally compliance testing/ getting compliance should help with securing the close

it's also key to remember solid digits are based off strong interactions lacking that a number doesn't mean much.


Conclusion
Keeping one of those general structures in mind should assist quite a bit and the links in those articles should help you find some ground on areas that need work

Hope this helps and best of luck on the continued journey

 

[Spyce D]

Structure
Going into the more technical side here but...

For structure I tend to use Guns 3 keys/ SMMA to take note of where I am and where I can flow to on what to do
when I started focusing on that it helped me out quite a bit

Gunwitch on 3 Keys
Bacchus on 3 Keys/ 3 legged Chair
(check out the Gun podcast and his other articles for more info)

Other articles/ alternate structure

Alek (his indirect series is gold) -This pretty much covers everything in the seduction and links to key articles, the second link is also very good

Bacchus- Transition phase structure (works in tandem with Guns 3 keys) -provides tech based on the phase (His podcasts are also applicable 2nd one covers transition phase structure and consistency)

Chase uses his developed VAC (value, attainability, compliance) which is on the main site and SAC (one date model) (similarity, arousal, compliance)

(there are better links for VAC and SAC, just can't remember off the top of my head..., feel free to search)


(there's potentially one I missed, point is to look around the site and see what you can find.
most issues here have been covered via an article)

Pick one that resonates with you and zero in on that and follow the process



Number Closing

Additionally you said you had issues number closing the ones you want

I use Skills's way of number closing of giving them my number (dodging the knee jerk reaction and social media) then calling from their phone to confirm it

additionally compliance testing/ getting compliance should help with securing the close

it's also key to remember solid digits are based off strong interactions lacking that a number doesn't mean much.


Conclusion
Keeping one of those general structures in mind should assist quite a bit and the links in those articles should help you find some ground on areas that need work

Hope this helps and best of luck on the continued journey

Thanks

Will use

 

[Spyce D]

Quick update : I have been going out solo these days and it is no longer intimidating.

Thanks for all the advice guys .

Basically , what really helped Was that I kept on going out with wings and cuz I was getting positive feedback from chicks so that changed my perspective and gave me lot of reference points about approaching girls and I don't even feel fear while going solo now .