Not feeling too good...

[Estate]

... hey, sorry if this is more of a rant than anything.

I've circled back to somewhat of a rut.

- I found out yesterday that a girl I had been hooking up with lately played me pretty hard and some nastiness ended it. I don't know why I care, I wasn't *really* into her, I liked her, but she wasn't the only girl I had met and she wasn't really GF material. I really shouldn't care... it's a long story but she just got a bit nasty and it's effected my mood.
- It's a long weekend... 3 days in a city alone. I don't know anyone. I could use a drinking buddy for one night. I'm finding it hard to go it alone the longer it goes on.
- This time last year I spent a great weekend with a girl I was getting serious with... maybe it's the loneliness is making me thing "what could have been" but I wish I had that back.
- My family is all 3000 miles away. Feeling down has prevented me from Skyping them. They expect me to maintain this "Woo.... having the time of my life in America" attitude 24/7 or they just don't want to know. They aren't very supportive, they mean well but talking to them just puts me in a bigger rut.
- It's Easter, a big family holiday in my home country.
- I HAVE to go out alone. I have no other options... it's draining me.

- Overall... I don't have any QUALITY options right now. I've made no secret that my ultimate goal is to find a girlfriend but I don't have anyone around right now which I feel is worth it. My attitudes have shifted.... I'm not interested in making the "OK" girl that I would have before, my girlfriend... its just not worth it... I want a relationship but not with someone I don't see a longterm future with. The problem right now is while I can get girls, I'm not quite getting the quality that that I want now. I feel I'm lacking that X-Factor to tip me into their league.

Sorry this post is a little down... just wanted to write it down to feel like I got it off my chest.

 

[Altimeter]

Here's what you do,

You check tripadvisor or whatever and check into a cool hostel where some college backpackers may be around, you talk and drink ur sorrow away and go out with them.
and leave your house if you can, being alone will make you miserable.

Wake up in the morning and start doing yoga

Get rid of this obsession right this second, if you were in love wit her, this sit would be completely different. You thought of a nice little Brazilian drama with her, didn't work out, now you MUST find something to do right now.

 

[Good Vibes]

Estate, sorry to hear of your sad story. I'll have a cyber-beer with you right now. Cheers big ears!

I think everyone goes through a rough patch from time to time as I have. I'm sure if people here went through the crap they've had to deal with you would think your situation is not too bad. Just think of the positive things you have in your life like maybe your health, family, hobbies and that cute girl you will bump into next week at the shops.

- Overall... I don't have any QUALITY options right now. I've made no secret that my ultimate goal is to find a girlfriend but I don't have anyone around right now which I feel is worth it. My attitudes have shifted.... I'm not interested in making the "OK" girl that I would have before, my girlfriend... its just not worth it... I want a relationship but not with someone I don't see a longterm future with. The problem right now is while I can get girls, I'm not quite getting the quality that that I want now. I feel I'm lacking that X-Factor to tip me into their league.

If you're looking for quality you must focus on her personality and character more than looks to find your woman. Don't overlook a girl just because she is not a perfect 10. On the other side of the coin there are some hot looking girls who you should reject because of poor character.

 

[Estate]

Hey guys, thanks for the replies.

So you are all correct about this girl. It's not even really her that is effecting me. Its just one of the factors.
It wasn't so much ending things with a girl, we were pretty much ended anyway, it was just some nastiness that happened seemed to bring me back to some things my exes have done, which for a girl I've only know a month is a bit extreme. Just didn't bring up the right emotions.

Last night I admittedly "bottled it".
I went home, had dinner, had a drink and dressed up in my best... ready to hit a club downtown by myself.
Then somewhere around 10pm it hit me again, given the weekend it is, I need to be around family and friends, not trawling nightclubs alone and just couldn't bring myself to go out.

I HATE feeling like this, I KNOW I can do ANYTHING I set my mind to but the key is ... "when I want to"... if I get in a funk like this, I do nothing.
I know it's just a quick bout of this, I'll probably be ok Monday morning again but I don't like how I feel right now.

My biggest problem right now being trying to find that "X-Factor"...
I can go out and get 7-8 and some 9's all day.... I just want more now. I want that 10. (not in terms of being a super model but in terms of what girl I am looking for).
I'm not getting over that hump and don't feel in their league and I'm tired of settling for less.

 

[Altimeter]

Then go ask 10's they won't respond differently than 7's...
You are experiencing a very common symptom which is telling you that if you asked out 1 or 2 HB 10's and got rejected all HB 10's will reject you. Which isn't true. If you only asked out a couple of 7's or 6's you could easily get rejected. You just have too keep meeting more women of that sort and ask THEM out, like you'd ask out others instead of crawling back into your shell.

So stop asking chav's out and meet some quality people for a change.

 

[Estate]

Then go ask 10's they won't respond differently than 7's...
You are experiencing a very common symptom which is telling you that if you asked out 1 or 2 HB 10's and got rejected all HB 10's will reject you. Which isn't true. If you only asked out a couple of 7's or 6's you could easily get rejected. You just have too keep meeting more women of that sort and ask THEM out, like you'd ask out others instead of crawling back into your shell.

So stop asking chav's out and meet some quality people for a change.

You might be right man.
I dropped that mentality a long time ago about girls liking/disliking me but I think you're right about holding elements of that still regarding girls I rate as 10's.

Cheers!