- Joined
- Oct 23, 2013
- Messages
- 473
I had this discussion with a friend of mine a few weeks ago about this topic of getting complimented.
From a young age I found that I get complimented a fair bit, and that I’ve gotten really used to it over time. I’m not particularly good looking, or charismatic or special in any way I think, yet for some reason I’ll be bound to get at least a few compliments from people if I do get a new haircut, or a different kind of shirt or if I look buff and they see me after not having seen me in a few months.
My guess would be that the alpha guy gets more of these comments and compliments than the average guy; and he likely in addition to this completely takes these almost entirely for granted! Funny, but rather true… my friend and I discussed this and agreed here.
We also discussed how further from this (in the fitting form of a narcissistic character) when one of us does get a new shirt or a new haircut, or sees someone from the past we haven’t seen in a while, we get almost a bit worried if not getting at least a few compliments. Something must be wrong then; maybe I don’t really look that good with this new cut or look then.
Compliments are just compliments and are subjective and opinion based and I suppose rather insignificant in that sense. So me and my friend agreed that yes it is best to just appreciate and give thanks for the compliment, and not dwell on it much past that (and further be genuine and warm about getting the compliment, despite perhaps having gotten the same compliment 5 times before in the day already).
________
In terms of girls: what I observed, and the main thing that I wanted to write about, is that girls you haven’t seen in a while (say several months to a few years) who you haven’t been intimate with, will when they see you not compliment you directly like a buddy or a friend’s parent might; but they will instead be turned on and attracted and warm to you in all the ways that a girl who is into you may be.
I’ve been running into a bunch of people back in my hometown recently, some of whom I haven’t seen in 1 year and many of whom I haven’t seen in 3 years. I’ve gotten 45 lbs of muscle since 3 years ago, have changed my look and fashion and facial hair and hairstyle and alongside that have accumulated the experience with girls and fundamentals and all that I learned at Girlschase.
And I have to remember to be detached: and remind self this, because I’ve been getting compliments up the ass, from parents’ friends and colleagues about how handsome and beautiful I’ve now apparently gotten and from buddies who are telling me I got huge and look really good and stuff.
Best thing to do here I strongly believe is to be stoic, be detached, and be polite but also a bit cynical of praise if it is too excessive just as you should be of reproach that is excessive too.
In terms of girls however, most I’ve met will have the reaction of “hey, wow how are you” and look me down and back up while not trying to be too obvious, and I say smoothly “how are you, I haven’t seen you in a long time huh” at which point they’ll smile and invest a lot seeing that I’m not unattainable in any way despite having scaled up in looks and demeanor and stuff.
The girls that are actually into you from the past don’t seem to give those immediate compliments at all; and instead stare and invest and are turned on and attracted and stuff. Just my observation at least.
-Gem
From a young age I found that I get complimented a fair bit, and that I’ve gotten really used to it over time. I’m not particularly good looking, or charismatic or special in any way I think, yet for some reason I’ll be bound to get at least a few compliments from people if I do get a new haircut, or a different kind of shirt or if I look buff and they see me after not having seen me in a few months.
My guess would be that the alpha guy gets more of these comments and compliments than the average guy; and he likely in addition to this completely takes these almost entirely for granted! Funny, but rather true… my friend and I discussed this and agreed here.
We also discussed how further from this (in the fitting form of a narcissistic character) when one of us does get a new shirt or a new haircut, or sees someone from the past we haven’t seen in a while, we get almost a bit worried if not getting at least a few compliments. Something must be wrong then; maybe I don’t really look that good with this new cut or look then.
Compliments are just compliments and are subjective and opinion based and I suppose rather insignificant in that sense. So me and my friend agreed that yes it is best to just appreciate and give thanks for the compliment, and not dwell on it much past that (and further be genuine and warm about getting the compliment, despite perhaps having gotten the same compliment 5 times before in the day already).
________
In terms of girls: what I observed, and the main thing that I wanted to write about, is that girls you haven’t seen in a while (say several months to a few years) who you haven’t been intimate with, will when they see you not compliment you directly like a buddy or a friend’s parent might; but they will instead be turned on and attracted and warm to you in all the ways that a girl who is into you may be.
I’ve been running into a bunch of people back in my hometown recently, some of whom I haven’t seen in 1 year and many of whom I haven’t seen in 3 years. I’ve gotten 45 lbs of muscle since 3 years ago, have changed my look and fashion and facial hair and hairstyle and alongside that have accumulated the experience with girls and fundamentals and all that I learned at Girlschase.
And I have to remember to be detached: and remind self this, because I’ve been getting compliments up the ass, from parents’ friends and colleagues about how handsome and beautiful I’ve now apparently gotten and from buddies who are telling me I got huge and look really good and stuff.
Best thing to do here I strongly believe is to be stoic, be detached, and be polite but also a bit cynical of praise if it is too excessive just as you should be of reproach that is excessive too.
In terms of girls however, most I’ve met will have the reaction of “hey, wow how are you” and look me down and back up while not trying to be too obvious, and I say smoothly “how are you, I haven’t seen you in a long time huh” at which point they’ll smile and invest a lot seeing that I’m not unattainable in any way despite having scaled up in looks and demeanor and stuff.
The girls that are actually into you from the past don’t seem to give those immediate compliments at all; and instead stare and invest and are turned on and attracted and stuff. Just my observation at least.
-Gem
