- Joined
- Nov 25, 2012
- Messages
- 293
There's a girl (we'll call her Heather) that I work with who I've posted about before. She and I had flirted with each other, but she kept talking about her boyfriend, which was really throwing me off. Anyways, she texted me on Wednesday to let me know that she was now single (quite excitedly, I might add). I took that as prompting, and asked her out. She said yes.
Skip forward to Friday evening. We started at my dorm room (All my roommates are gone until the end of the month!) where I fixed stuffed clams for dinner. She was quite impressed, and commented on that several times. While eating, we watched some stand up comedy on youtube. From there, we walked over to the student commons to watch Spider-Man (this was an event put on by Res Life). At this point, I made a mistake by breaking circle to talk to a few of my friends who had left last year, but had come back for the weekend. About halfway through the movie, Heather and I left and went to Starbucks. For some reason, she insisted on taking her car (not really sure why, and I'm not really sure that it is relevant either, but I figure I'd mention it anyways). After we grabbed drinks, we went back to my room where we watched "Tucker & Dale Vs Evil" (She said she liked horror and comedy movies, so I figured this was a solid choice. Boy, was I wrong). Worst. Date. Movie. Ever. We started cuddling, but every time I would start to escalate, it was only a matter of time before a certain douchebag character in the movie (who ends up being the bad guy) would start acting creepy towards one of the female characters. Of course, that wasn't very conducive to physical escalation, so that part didn't work too well. This is where she started to get a bit cold (not too much, but more than before). In the end, I wasn't able to get a kiss (which has never happened when I watch movies or TV with girls in private), and she ended up having to go home around 11:00 because of her dad's curfew (which was at 10:00). She mentioned the curfew a few times once 10:00 hit, but she didn't make any motion to start moving, so I just ignored it. Eventually, she did leave. I walked her out to her car, where she mentioned that she had a good time and wanted to do it again some time.
The next day, I was helping a friend with a photoshoot, when she texted me and asked me what I was up to (she has been texting me a lot. I don't think I've ever initiated contact). When I told her what I was doing, she said that if I ever needed a model for a shoot, that she was more than willing to help. Because I needed a model for an assignment (and it just so happens that she was exactly what I needed for the shoot), I took her up on her offer. When she showed up at the studio, she was dressed to the nines. We shot for nearly an hour and ended up getting some great shots. Once we finished there, she came to the lab and watched me edit the photos, then she had to go to work. She's been texting me since then, and it looks like I'll be able to get another date rather easily.
So far, so good. The only setback I've had is my failure to escalate properly, which I hope to correct next time. She's also the most feisty girl I've ever gone out with, which has proved a challenge. She's got a quick wit, and she is so high energy that she makes me look lethargic in comparison (which is saying a lot). She's also very confident, and used to getting her way, all of which has made it very difficult to remain in charge of the interactions. I've countered this by acting in the opposite way as I normally do. Typically, I'll come in with a lot of energy which will disorient a girl just enough to where I can easily guide the interaction. With Heather, it is almost impossible to do that, so I'm basically playing the part of the (relatively) low-key guy, just staying super relaxed and calm, and letting her do most of the talking while I guide the interaction through suggestion. This is a very different dynamic than I'm used to, but it seems to be working. She's still interested as far as I can tell, but I need to seal the deal.
My one question for you guys is what is the best way to begin the escalation once you are alone? I have typically used movie watching as the catalyst (with great results), but I don't know that it is working well with this girl. Perhaps it would work better with a different movie, but I don't want to have to use movies as a crutch. I would like to learn how to escalate from a simple convo up to kissing, then sex. Once I can get the kiss, I'm in, but in the past, external factors have kept me from going all the way.
Skip forward to Friday evening. We started at my dorm room (All my roommates are gone until the end of the month!) where I fixed stuffed clams for dinner. She was quite impressed, and commented on that several times. While eating, we watched some stand up comedy on youtube. From there, we walked over to the student commons to watch Spider-Man (this was an event put on by Res Life). At this point, I made a mistake by breaking circle to talk to a few of my friends who had left last year, but had come back for the weekend. About halfway through the movie, Heather and I left and went to Starbucks. For some reason, she insisted on taking her car (not really sure why, and I'm not really sure that it is relevant either, but I figure I'd mention it anyways). After we grabbed drinks, we went back to my room where we watched "Tucker & Dale Vs Evil" (She said she liked horror and comedy movies, so I figured this was a solid choice. Boy, was I wrong). Worst. Date. Movie. Ever. We started cuddling, but every time I would start to escalate, it was only a matter of time before a certain douchebag character in the movie (who ends up being the bad guy) would start acting creepy towards one of the female characters. Of course, that wasn't very conducive to physical escalation, so that part didn't work too well. This is where she started to get a bit cold (not too much, but more than before). In the end, I wasn't able to get a kiss (which has never happened when I watch movies or TV with girls in private), and she ended up having to go home around 11:00 because of her dad's curfew (which was at 10:00). She mentioned the curfew a few times once 10:00 hit, but she didn't make any motion to start moving, so I just ignored it. Eventually, she did leave. I walked her out to her car, where she mentioned that she had a good time and wanted to do it again some time.
The next day, I was helping a friend with a photoshoot, when she texted me and asked me what I was up to (she has been texting me a lot. I don't think I've ever initiated contact). When I told her what I was doing, she said that if I ever needed a model for a shoot, that she was more than willing to help. Because I needed a model for an assignment (and it just so happens that she was exactly what I needed for the shoot), I took her up on her offer. When she showed up at the studio, she was dressed to the nines. We shot for nearly an hour and ended up getting some great shots. Once we finished there, she came to the lab and watched me edit the photos, then she had to go to work. She's been texting me since then, and it looks like I'll be able to get another date rather easily.
So far, so good. The only setback I've had is my failure to escalate properly, which I hope to correct next time. She's also the most feisty girl I've ever gone out with, which has proved a challenge. She's got a quick wit, and she is so high energy that she makes me look lethargic in comparison (which is saying a lot). She's also very confident, and used to getting her way, all of which has made it very difficult to remain in charge of the interactions. I've countered this by acting in the opposite way as I normally do. Typically, I'll come in with a lot of energy which will disorient a girl just enough to where I can easily guide the interaction. With Heather, it is almost impossible to do that, so I'm basically playing the part of the (relatively) low-key guy, just staying super relaxed and calm, and letting her do most of the talking while I guide the interaction through suggestion. This is a very different dynamic than I'm used to, but it seems to be working. She's still interested as far as I can tell, but I need to seal the deal.
My one question for you guys is what is the best way to begin the escalation once you are alone? I have typically used movie watching as the catalyst (with great results), but I don't know that it is working well with this girl. Perhaps it would work better with a different movie, but I don't want to have to use movies as a crutch. I would like to learn how to escalate from a simple convo up to kissing, then sex. Once I can get the kiss, I'm in, but in the past, external factors have kept me from going all the way.
