- Joined
- Jul 5, 2013
- Messages
- 182
Hello everyone, I've been thinking about frames lately and wanted to share some of my ideas here on the forum. I have realized that the man who has consciously objectified his frames has a distinct advantage over the man who has not in social situations. This is not to say that you should always be "thinking" about your frames, it's just to say that it might be a worthwhile activity (it was for me) to sit down and map out exactly what frames you bring to specific situations. And since this is a website about seduction, let's look at sexual frames today.
There are three types of frame categories, all based in point of view, that I use. There's the "we" frame, the "I" frame, and the "you" frame. Let's look at some of the primary frames within each of these categories.
The "We" Frame
-We will have sex but we won't do anything we don't want to.
-we are engaging in something rare, something special, an adventure, but we won't do anything too dangerous.
-We are engaging in something natural, but it is also "supernatural", i.e., we are vulgar animals but also divine beings.
-We are on the same team but we are individuals deserving of individualized consideration.
-We are making progress but we aren't trying to progress.
The "I" Frame
-I am in charge (dominant), but I am also considerate.
-I embody divine masculinity, but also masculine vulgarity.
-I am edgy, but I don't try to be.
-I am cool, but I don't try to be.
-I am the best possible man you could ever hope of meeting, but I am also sincerely humble.
-I live according to the law of least effort, but will provide you with results greater than someone who apparently is trying harder.
-I am perfectly fine without you (I respect and trust myself), but with you I'd be more fine.
-I am not chasing you, but I still desire you.
-I can't control my primal urge, but I am the master of myself and my world.
-I will capitalize on every window presented to me, but won't force the interaction.
-I respect women as women, and treat them different from how I treat men, but I also treat everyone the same.
-I am mysterious and alluring, but not the slightest bit self-absorbed.
The "You" Frame
-You are silly and cute and I feel responsible for you, but you are also an individual capable of standing on her own two feet.
-You are a woman/girl and you will be treated as such, but I also will be flexible in my way of interacting with you and willing to experiment.
-You are chasing me, but I am generous enough to position you into a social value that is compatible with my own (at least for the time being...)
-You value me (slightly) more than I value you, but you are still valuable.
-You are (a bit) more invested than I am, but you are still worth investment.
-You want to comply with anything I suggest, but all the decisions you make are your own (and you know it), or at least the same ones you would have made (if only in hindsight).
And the list goes on... Notice the dialectical nature of each of these points, where they are tempered by their opposite. This is because moderation is vital in all things. If you can embody these frames successfully, your character will become more balanced.
One thing that can make this all a bit more confusing is when your frames conflict internally. What I've listed above are all frames that are part of your internal perception of yourself, yet you also have an external perception of yourself which is largely outside of your control. Only a fool would deny that his reputation and the social roles he embodies don't effect his interpretation of his "self", in particular through how they effect his actions and the subsequent rationalization that occur because of them.
Keep in mind...
-Most of these frames you should keep to yourself (and maybe some of your trustworthy friends), though some are safe (and, beyond that, quite useful) to draw attention to (like the adventure frame) depending on the situation.
-Be mindful not to project your faults with your "you" frames. Occasionally I catch myself projecting my faults onto others, and I have to remind myself to be vigilant. Being tolerant while focusing on self-improvement takes mindfulness, as self-improvement requires you admit your faults to yourself, so, when you see others committing things that you are trying to fix in yourself, you may be drawn to try and fix it for them. Do your best not to do that (at least until you can develop a truly iron-clad frame reinforced by loads of success).
-When laying out your frames, always temper them (yes, like steel or iron) with their opposite.
By objectifying our frames, by making them explicit to ourselves, our minds can organize them and use them to greater effect and in a more controlled mental complex. They will be harder and wider than what someone who hasn't objectified theirs can be, because our instincts and emotions are backed up by rational thought, which has the power to temporarily override these things and help us learn how to work around our biological and emotional nature to achieve what we want to achieve. So I recommend writing out something like what you see above, and of course, add your own frames and use your own words to personalize them.
So, now that we've put all this thought into how to frame our seductions, I think it important to point out that if you don't go out and paint some exceptional experiences for yourself and the women you decide to share them with, no matter how clear your sexual frames are, they will of course be useless, as you'll have nothing to put in them
So go out and be like Picasso!
Oskar
There are three types of frame categories, all based in point of view, that I use. There's the "we" frame, the "I" frame, and the "you" frame. Let's look at some of the primary frames within each of these categories.
The "We" Frame
-We will have sex but we won't do anything we don't want to.
-we are engaging in something rare, something special, an adventure, but we won't do anything too dangerous.
-We are engaging in something natural, but it is also "supernatural", i.e., we are vulgar animals but also divine beings.
-We are on the same team but we are individuals deserving of individualized consideration.
-We are making progress but we aren't trying to progress.
The "I" Frame
-I am in charge (dominant), but I am also considerate.
-I embody divine masculinity, but also masculine vulgarity.
-I am edgy, but I don't try to be.
-I am cool, but I don't try to be.
-I am the best possible man you could ever hope of meeting, but I am also sincerely humble.
-I live according to the law of least effort, but will provide you with results greater than someone who apparently is trying harder.
-I am perfectly fine without you (I respect and trust myself), but with you I'd be more fine.
-I am not chasing you, but I still desire you.
-I can't control my primal urge, but I am the master of myself and my world.
-I will capitalize on every window presented to me, but won't force the interaction.
-I respect women as women, and treat them different from how I treat men, but I also treat everyone the same.
-I am mysterious and alluring, but not the slightest bit self-absorbed.
The "You" Frame
-You are silly and cute and I feel responsible for you, but you are also an individual capable of standing on her own two feet.
-You are a woman/girl and you will be treated as such, but I also will be flexible in my way of interacting with you and willing to experiment.
-You are chasing me, but I am generous enough to position you into a social value that is compatible with my own (at least for the time being...)
-You value me (slightly) more than I value you, but you are still valuable.
-You are (a bit) more invested than I am, but you are still worth investment.
-You want to comply with anything I suggest, but all the decisions you make are your own (and you know it), or at least the same ones you would have made (if only in hindsight).
And the list goes on... Notice the dialectical nature of each of these points, where they are tempered by their opposite. This is because moderation is vital in all things. If you can embody these frames successfully, your character will become more balanced.
One thing that can make this all a bit more confusing is when your frames conflict internally. What I've listed above are all frames that are part of your internal perception of yourself, yet you also have an external perception of yourself which is largely outside of your control. Only a fool would deny that his reputation and the social roles he embodies don't effect his interpretation of his "self", in particular through how they effect his actions and the subsequent rationalization that occur because of them.
Keep in mind...
-Most of these frames you should keep to yourself (and maybe some of your trustworthy friends), though some are safe (and, beyond that, quite useful) to draw attention to (like the adventure frame) depending on the situation.
-Be mindful not to project your faults with your "you" frames. Occasionally I catch myself projecting my faults onto others, and I have to remind myself to be vigilant. Being tolerant while focusing on self-improvement takes mindfulness, as self-improvement requires you admit your faults to yourself, so, when you see others committing things that you are trying to fix in yourself, you may be drawn to try and fix it for them. Do your best not to do that (at least until you can develop a truly iron-clad frame reinforced by loads of success).
-When laying out your frames, always temper them (yes, like steel or iron) with their opposite.
By objectifying our frames, by making them explicit to ourselves, our minds can organize them and use them to greater effect and in a more controlled mental complex. They will be harder and wider than what someone who hasn't objectified theirs can be, because our instincts and emotions are backed up by rational thought, which has the power to temporarily override these things and help us learn how to work around our biological and emotional nature to achieve what we want to achieve. So I recommend writing out something like what you see above, and of course, add your own frames and use your own words to personalize them.
So, now that we've put all this thought into how to frame our seductions, I think it important to point out that if you don't go out and paint some exceptional experiences for yourself and the women you decide to share them with, no matter how clear your sexual frames are, they will of course be useless, as you'll have nothing to put in them
So go out and be like Picasso!
Oskar
