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Observational question on men with really long term gfs

Limp

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jun 30, 2013
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20
I've noted a trend lately that many of the best looking and more dynamic women seem to be dating guys for a very long time without a commitment and are often unhappy. I'm talking in some cases 10 or more years. And as far as I know, these guys aren't wealthy so they aren't protecting assets or anything. Is this just part of women falling for guys that don't treat them well, or is something else going on here? And since age definitely plays a role, these couples vary from mid 20s to mid-late 30s.
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
6,058
Limp-

Very beautiful are among the most conservative women, and they date very conservatively. Their lives are run more about protecting their downsides than maximizing their upsides, unlike less beautiful women, whose lives are run with a great deal more variability in them, increasing their exposures both to higher upsides than they'd otherwise get (the chance to date higher caliber men), but also higher downsides (the chance they get thought of as "sluts" or "not good girls" by the very men they wish to secure as long-term mates, and are forced to settle for something less).

The exception to this is high sex drive beautiful women - whose mating patterns are similar to those of high sex drive women of any looks class - and "hot" women, which many men mix up with "beautiful" women. "Hot" women are women who aren't naturally in the upper echelon on looks, but they learn how to be amazingly good with hair, makeup, posture, clothes, and other fundamentals to have an overall, "Wow," effect on men. These girls generally date similarly to their native looks class, though; if they grew up ugly, then made themselves hot, they date like ugly girls (although often with more attractive / higher caliber guys), frequently bouncing from guy to guy, being emotional, taking offense at minor things and breaking up over them, etc.

Also - it's easy to look at a girl's choice in mate and say, "Ugh, why's she dating HIM?" But very beautiful women tend to be very socially attuned, and have very good instincts for selecting "good" mates - men likely to become successful in the future (remember, there are many more beautiful women than there are wealthy men, so much of the time beautiful women must select men based on perceived potential rather than proven assets / success - this guy seems like a good bet to become successful somewhere in his 30s, 40s, or 50s), men who are likely to stick around and not go running off with some young filly, men who do most of the things they think husbands should do. They're also more conservative about breaking up - they've generally had less dating experience than their less attractive peers, and thus are operating from almost a scarcity mentality - sure, it's easy for them to get laid, but they don't WANT to get laid - they want a good guy who checks off all their boxes and is going to stick around, and the best and lowest risk bet they have for that is the guy they've already got.

Chase
 
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