Older (25+) single girls in college: How to proceed?

[Conquistador]

So I've met two different older girls (I use that word deliberately) in college recently. Both intellectual, in good shape for their age, apparently single, have their lives in order, quiet, slightly lonely, no red flags, both actively expressing limited interest in me.

The first is 37 or so (but physically and personality wise not a day over 30 except a bit of crows' feet), met on the quad but I have reason to believe we'll meet again, lives alone, has a decent office job in some small service sector thing, taking heavyweight courses for intellectual development. We didn't flirt per se, just chatted with a bit of subtext. I got a strong impression of "still waters run deep". As far as looks, pleasant mild prettiness, generic coloring, slim figure. Not a day over 30, except a bit of crows' feet. I've met ladies like her before (some of my teachers were like that). Either she's just barely on the spectrum, or just has that kind of personality.
And to be honest, it was the first time I can remember having a strong desire to make love (using that term deliberately) to a woman while still talking to her. Not while thinking about her afterward, not "her voice/breasts/whatever is/are [adjective]", not "I like this person", not "this girl/woman would make a good partner". I really wanted to go home with her immediately and take it from there. And I felt there was chemistry, both intimate (not specifically sexual, just deep connection) and intellectual. Plus she was very comfortable with herself, calm, honest, vulnerable, and not needy or anything. With a message of "I'm happy with how it is, I don't really need a man, but there's space for the right sort of guy, I wouldn't mind getting to know you better".

This is basically the starting point of a textbook healthy FWB relationship, right?

The second is in my PE class. Already got her Master's (and insecure about her age, even tho she doesn't look it), interesting platonically, not bad looking, flirted with me heavily but only as a response to questions, Ukrainian, doesn't seem depressed or bitter or anything, but she's clearly not happy about both being single and the war.

I wouldn't mind getting to know her better. And she could use a friend (or a lover), and I think she has a lot to give back. But she of necessity puts up some walls.


The thing is, I have ZERO idea of how to take things further, apart from just hanging out (and Girl #2 might be hard to engage even platonically). These are single older girls, not typical college girls or cougar/"MILF" types (attached or otherwise). I have no idea how this type of situation works.

Thoughts? or advice?

 

[Will_V]

So I've met two different older girls (I use that word deliberately) in college recently. Both intellectual, in good shape for their age, apparently single, have their lives in order, quiet, slightly lonely, no red flags, both actively expressing limited interest in me.

The first is 37 or so (but physically and personality wise not a day over 30 except a bit of crows' feet), met on the quad but I have reason to believe we'll meet again, lives alone, has a decent office job in some small service sector thing, taking heavyweight courses for intellectual development. We didn't flirt per se, just chatted with a bit of subtext. I got a strong impression of "still waters run deep". As far as looks, pleasant mild prettiness, generic coloring, slim figure. Not a day over 30, except a bit of crows' feet. I've met ladies like her before (some of my teachers were like that). Either she's just barely on the spectrum, or just has that kind of personality.
And to be honest, it was the first time I can remember having a strong desire to make love (using that term deliberately) to a woman while still talking to her. Not while thinking about her afterward, not "her voice/breasts/whatever is/are [adjective]", not "I like this person", not "this girl/woman would make a good partner". I really wanted to go home with her immediately and take it from there. And I felt there was chemistry, both intimate (not specifically sexual, just deep connection) and intellectual. Plus she was very comfortable with herself, calm, honest, vulnerable, and not needy or anything. With a message of "I'm happy with how it is, I don't really need a man, but there's space for the right sort of guy, I wouldn't mind getting to know you better".

This is basically the starting point of a textbook healthy FWB relationship, right?

The second is in my PE class. Already got her Master's (and insecure about her age, even tho she doesn't look it), interesting platonically, not bad looking, flirted with me heavily but only as a response to questions, Ukrainian, doesn't seem depressed or bitter or anything, but she's clearly not happy about both being single and the war.

I wouldn't mind getting to know her better. And she could use a friend (or a lover), and I think she has a lot to give back. But she of necessity puts up some walls.


The thing is, I have ZERO idea of how to take things further, apart from just hanging out (and Girl #2 might be hard to engage even platonically). These are single older girls, not typical college girls or cougar/"MILF" types (attached or otherwise). I have no idea how this type of situation works.

Thoughts? or advice?

What do you think is so different about them? They're still just women. Game doesn't stop working on older women.

The main thing I have found with older women (in the late twenties onward) with a younger guy is that they either want the young bull (a guy who is up and coming, full of energy and drive) or someone to vibe and unwind with who can show her the good side of life that exists outside the realm of her typical daily life (i.e. in the hippie direction). Generally they will be looking at middle age, middle class dudes for the typical relationship game. So the main thing is to create a bubble where she can get away from the drudgery of being a desperate ageing woman and just enjoy rolling around in bed and talking about whatever comes to mind.

So it's very much about just being chill, not teasing or trying to impress her too much, making her feel good about herself, and knocking her socks off in bed.

 

[HoofHearted]

Careful! Cougar attack!

But seriously, realize the dynamic here.

You're a young guy, and that's an inconvenient thing to be sometimes. However, the most unfortunate thing to be in a dating/lover market is an older woman.

Soooo iow you're actually the trophy in this instance, if you're just a basic guy who's a little bit sexual.

Now try not to get your dick clawed off.

 

[Fuck This]

Any way you can do a study-group of 2 (fewer is better) outside of class? This pivots on the shared interest of the class, and lets you probe further on her motivations for going back to school and screen for red flags and green lights.

Could be meeting after class for coffee and trading notes, prepping for an upcoming test, partnering on a project, etc. It's not a date, at best an informational date where you determine if there is a genuine interest from her in you. If you determine there is (she re engages you, she talks about doing something else together, she initiates conversations, she tells jokes with innuendos, she makes an effort to spruce up her appearance when you are around.) then propose a real date one on one. From my days in school that often was a Frat or Res Hall function, a hike with a picnic, going to see a music performance, etc.

These women may or may not "know the score" and could be standoffish or welcome the opportunity to have a tawdy fling with a 20 year old. you aren't going to know until you probe deeper , but be ready to get friendzoned. My experiences with older back to college women was she was married with a kid and went home every weekend. She made it very clear she was there to study and nothing more....

 

[Conquistador]

Damn, it’s been a long journey since I posted, but I want to necro actually, about girls in the 23-27 range (I’m 20). I’ve found that that age range is often a “dead zone” where it’s harder to build rapport and chemistry. The exceptions have been with highly sexual/lover frames, but at this point in my journey I’m not interested in purely recreational encounters without a certain amount of connection.
For instance, when I declined to hook up with a girl who was about to leave her BF (and was operating in an altered version of reality where I had run a textbook cold approach), she literally told me afterward that she wasn’t interested in being friends.
Similarly, an older classmate who’s pretty interested right now in me isn’t super compatible in terms of mindset, and doesn’t seem to be super interested in me as a person.

In some ways I’m super mature. In other ways, not so much. Women 28-70 often love that combo. Mid 20s girls, not so much.

How can I improve?

Edit: Just got a preemptive wall from an older girl right now in SC after a good start. I might have done better with a PUA beard like I often have, but that isn’t calibrated to my primary target audience.

 

[TomInHo]

How can I improve?

By not overthinking stuff and actually focus on getting laid. Any connection built post sex tends to be a lot more real than the girl you see before the lay