I just read chase's article here about how people who react with extreme negativity to preferences do so because the way they want to behave is not congruent with their actual behavior. I also read this quote recently elsewhere: "In modern society, people have not integrated their desire for intimacy with their desire for sexuality. Because of this, people are emotionally ambivalent about what they want in a partner, and this results in the coyness required when playing 'the game'".
This quote really stuck with me when combined with chase's description of idealized self being integrated with actual self, because these seem to be the same concept but expressed in differently nuanced ways. It makes me think of a madonna-whore complex rough equivalent for women who are unable to figure out how to get satisfying commitment & satisfying sex from one guy. This led to the following thoughts:
I'm looking for a girl who hasn't been imprinted on and wants 'forever'. Doesn't this all mean that being coy about this preference is a bad thing?
If the girls who react negatively to this preference are the girls with incongruent behavior and a badly integrated sense of intimacy, then they are not the kind of girl that I want anyway because they would make a bad forever-partner. So them auto-rejecting sounds great to me, it saves her time trying to play pretend and it saves me time vetting.
I'm confused about this because I was recommended in the past that the best way to find the sort of girl that I'm looking for isn't to look for a unicorn, but to look for a horse and just use my masculine leading ability to teach it how to be a unicorn. Both of these strategies ("let the girls who would make a poor forever-partner auto-reject" vs. "pick a girl who's got potential and let her come around to your worldview") seem valid. What do you guys think?
I also have an addendum question, at the end of chase's article on the madonna-whore complex here he says quote: "if you want forever, put yourself in an environment where 'forever' is encouraged, and sexual freedom is discouraged and looked down upon." What are some good places for this that would be reasonably compatible with the lifestyle considerations of a canadian? He mentioned the muslim world, but my understanding is that making your life in such a place is not a good idea for an expat white dude so that sounds like a bit of an extreme example intentionally chosen for shock value.
Oh btw chase, if you read this, it would be cool if you fed your teachings into a large language model that we could directly ask questions. Here's one that someone made for trading education for example. It isn't very smart, but it's one hell of a search engine.
This quote really stuck with me when combined with chase's description of idealized self being integrated with actual self, because these seem to be the same concept but expressed in differently nuanced ways. It makes me think of a madonna-whore complex rough equivalent for women who are unable to figure out how to get satisfying commitment & satisfying sex from one guy. This led to the following thoughts:
I'm looking for a girl who hasn't been imprinted on and wants 'forever'. Doesn't this all mean that being coy about this preference is a bad thing?
If the girls who react negatively to this preference are the girls with incongruent behavior and a badly integrated sense of intimacy, then they are not the kind of girl that I want anyway because they would make a bad forever-partner. So them auto-rejecting sounds great to me, it saves her time trying to play pretend and it saves me time vetting.
I'm confused about this because I was recommended in the past that the best way to find the sort of girl that I'm looking for isn't to look for a unicorn, but to look for a horse and just use my masculine leading ability to teach it how to be a unicorn. Both of these strategies ("let the girls who would make a poor forever-partner auto-reject" vs. "pick a girl who's got potential and let her come around to your worldview") seem valid. What do you guys think?
I also have an addendum question, at the end of chase's article on the madonna-whore complex here he says quote: "if you want forever, put yourself in an environment where 'forever' is encouraged, and sexual freedom is discouraged and looked down upon." What are some good places for this that would be reasonably compatible with the lifestyle considerations of a canadian? He mentioned the muslim world, but my understanding is that making your life in such a place is not a good idea for an expat white dude so that sounds like a bit of an extreme example intentionally chosen for shock value.
Oh btw chase, if you read this, it would be cool if you fed your teachings into a large language model that we could directly ask questions. Here's one that someone made for trading education for example. It isn't very smart, but it's one hell of a search engine.
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