OR One of those days

[Eternity]

It was one of those days at a store where i sat down in a chair and "saw the room" but in a negative, pessimistic way. I noticed beautiful girls walking by me, past me without a care in the world. They seem not worried about having abundance mentality, seducing whoever they wanted, and a void inside them they could not fill. I, on the other hand, did and felt down because i am considered a highly intelligent guy but couldn't crack the code of seduction in the past and still somewhat in the present. My intelligence let me down in the past, made me realize it had stupefied me in the seduction arena by making me too analytical and less of a risk taker with women. I realize this as a beautiful girl is in front of me with her grandmother, checking out the outfit she will buy. Im not angry at the beautiful women for making me feel invisible, and a bit beneath them. Im angry at myself for letting me down and not using correctly what i had at hand to my advantage. I cant blame it on my looks, style, social savvy, or even my financial status. I have a balanced amount of all those at hand. Another pretty girl walks by with her friend, she has a bitchy voice and are talking crap about someone i dont know; they walk away leaving me wondering if they didn't have a pretty face, would they feel invisible too or would they feel like the other women who are ignored by the multitude of men who dont look at them twice because the are not "hot" or pretty as them. They probably dont know much of that feeling, everyone has different experiences. Insecurity and frustration gnaw at me as the minutes pass by, i begin to feel restless and worse for being there thinking negative thoughts. I felt drained and tired. I think back to what my father said to me about his past, bragging he's had a good amount of women and him asking how come i am alone without a girlfriend at my age. He laughs, in a mocking way at me and just shakes his head. The thought ends as i see more shoppers walk by in front of me, Christmas gifts in hand. Another memory crosses my mind as i remember my one itis from the past and the bad rejection that shook me to my core. I've read constant material about how unhealthy and stupid it is to remember girls who rejected you, but i can't help it and flash back anyway. How sweet and gentle she tried to let me down but deep inside making it worse because i would've prefer it swift and cold but got the opposite of that, making me feel like a dumb child who said the wrong thing at the wrong time. I've had other rejections but this one hurt the most. The memory ends and i am back in the store shaking my head for going there again. My skills with women taking a severe blow after that, crippling me deeper into my shell. I know countless men have gone through this and are better now because they moved on. I am glad for them but my mind does not obey the order to forget. I know im solely responsible and am experiencing victim mentality because i refuse to move on with these thoughts but at this moment i am paralyzed and just dont want to fight it. More pretty girls walk by and i stand up and walk away to pay for what i was going to buy. I wish for a second i was a rockstar and every beautiful women was swooning at my feet as i walked past them. i laugh this thought away and know its up to me to fix what i consider broken in my life. Fuck these feelings. It was one of those days where i just wanted to be alone and forget the mess that has been my life.

Sorry for the rant guys, i needed to put this into words to blow off steam. I am glad to be a member of these boards and hope to improve my skills one step at a time again.

 

[A Life Loquacious]

it's OK to rant a bit but please break the paragraphs up a bit otherwise it gets hard to follow.

 

[Eternity]

Tried, my edit button was not available after i posted this.

 

[AFCnoob]

Im not angry at the beautiful women for making me feel invisible, and a bit beneath them. Im angry at myself for letting me down and not using correctly what i had at hand to my advantage.

There is still a low-lying animosity here to the girls you desire the most, which is sure to bleed over into your interactions, increase your anxiety, and magnify the pain of rejection, creating a vicious cycle of negativity.

Anger comes when you're not in control. If you are taking steps to actively correct your behaviour so things turn out the way you want--what's to be angry about?

Another pretty girl walks by with her friend, she has a bitchy voice and are talking crap about someone i dont know; they walk away leaving me wondering if they didn't have a pretty face...

Again: envy, spite towards the girls you desire: "Why should they have it so easy? Why should they sit in judgement of others?" Counterproductive thoughts, if you ask me. There are some men who get really good at PU, only to "take revenge" on the kinds of women who once rejected them. They are very successful with women, but also cynical, angry, unhappy, and hurt women. It's a dark road, and you don't want to walk it (Don't Be Bitter).

remember my one itis from the past and the bad rejection that shook me to my core. I've read constant material about how unhealthy and stupid it is to remember girls who rejected you, but i can't help it

I don't know what you've read, but I feel a bit differently. Painful memories continue to hurt until you deal with the underlying problem. When I address the fundamental, underlying issues, my "painful memories" become instead "life lessons that made me a better person" and I either think of them fondly, or not very much at all.

After [Fiona], I felt such a mix of negative emotions. I was so angry and embarrassed that I decided I absolutely had to do something--and that's what brought me here and totally changed my attitude and approach toward relationships and girls. I used to think about [Fiona] with pangs of shame and anger, but now I think of that interaction fondly, with just a bit of a rueful grin.

I've had other rejections but this one hurt the most.

The question is: did it hurt you engough? Enough to make you take action and stick to it? The next step after hurt/anger is properly channeling it. Don't take it out on girls, and don't take it out on yourself--that's wasting it; take it out on the problem, and let it fuel your motivation for solving it. Everyone here on the boards is ready to help.

 

[Eternity]

Good words and good insight man. I wrote this after a dark reflection i had of the day and the moment i wrote about. I've had similar moments but i guess i took it further this time and wanted to put this into words so i could understand better what i felt and not hide behind rationalization and lies from my part. See insight from others help me realize what im hiding from myself and what is the truth, so i thank you for that.

 

[MonsieurLabrie]

It was one of those days at a store where i sat down in a chair and "saw the room" but in a negative, pessimistic way. I noticed beautiful girls walking by me, past me without a care in the world. They seem not worried about having abundance mentality, seducing whoever they wanted, and a void inside them they could not fill. I, on the other hand, did and felt down because i am considered a highly intelligent guy but couldn't crack the code of seduction in the past and still somewhat in the present. My intelligence let me down in the past, made me realize it had stupefied me in the seduction arena by making me too analytical and less of a risk taker with women. I realize this as a beautiful girl is in front of me with her grandmother, checking out the outfit she will buy. Im not angry at the beautiful women for making me feel invisible, and a bit beneath them. Im angry at myself for letting me down and not using correctly what i had at hand to my advantage. I cant blame it on my looks, style, social savvy, or even my financial status. I have a balanced amount of all those at hand. Another pretty girl walks by with her friend, she has a bitchy voice and are talking crap about someone i dont know; they walk away leaving me wondering if they didn't have a pretty face, would they feel invisible too or would they feel like the other women who are ignored by the multitude of men who dont look at them twice because the are not "hot" or pretty as them. They probably dont know much of that feeling, everyone has different experiences. Insecurity and frustration gnaw at me as the minutes pass by, i begin to feel restless and worse for being there thinking negative thoughts. I felt drained and tired. I think back to what my father said to me about his past, bragging he's had a good amount of women and him asking how come i am alone without a girlfriend at my age. He laughs, in a mocking way at me and just shakes his head. The thought ends as i see more shoppers walk by in front of me, Christmas gifts in hand. Another memory crosses my mind as i remember my one itis from the past and the bad rejection that shook me to my core. I've read constant material about how unhealthy and stupid it is to remember girls who rejected you, but i can't help it and flash back anyway. How sweet and gentle she tried to let me down but deep inside making it worse because i would've prefer it swift and cold but got the opposite of that, making me feel like a dumb child who said the wrong thing at the wrong time. I've had other rejections but this one hurt the most. The memory ends and i am back in the store shaking my head for going there again. My skills with women taking a severe blow after that, crippling me deeper into my shell. I know countless men have gone through this and are better now because they moved on. I am glad for them but my mind does not obey the order to forget. I know im solely responsible and am experiencing victim mentality because i refuse to move on with these thoughts but at this moment i am paralyzed and just dont want to fight it. More pretty girls walk by and i stand up and walk away to pay for what i was going to buy. I wish for a second i was a rockstar and every beautiful women was swooning at my feet as i walked past them. i laugh this thought away and know its up to me to fix what i consider broken in my life. Fuck these feelings. It was one of those days where i just wanted to be alone and forget the mess that has been my life.

Sorry for the rant guys, i needed to put this into words to blow off steam. I am glad to be a member of these boards and hope to improve my skills one step at a time again.

Hey there Eternity!

I've been to very dark places too, probably even worse than what you describe there. But let me tell you something: it will serve you later as you grow. Your writing reminds me of my own when I took hard hits and Chase + his mentor helped me to build myself up again. Holiday season is great at making single people feel like crap isn't it? And to make it worse it's cold and Valentine's day is just around the corner...

You know what you should do? Reward yourself. Buy something you've wanted for a while. Maybe a motorcycle? A guitar? An arts class? A dance class? Something that will make you feel better about yourself and cooler. Then focus on that instead of beating yourself down. The simple fact of rewarding yourself will play a trick on your brain and defeat the Christmas inadequacy propaganda. You will also feel like you're progressing in something and you can talk about that with people you meet (and girls!). You won't feel like you're caught in a tar pit in your life.

Also, remember that this is only temporary. The hot girls are far closer to reach than you think. I suggest you rebuild yourself up by sleeping with many "cute" and "kinda cute" girls first, though. It will help you a lot with abundance.

 

[Eternity]

Hey there Eternity!

I've been to very dark places too, probably even worse than what you describe there. But let me tell you something: it will serve you later as you grow. Your writing reminds me of my own when I took hard hits and Chase + his mentor helped me to build myself up again. Holiday season is great at making single people feel like crap isn't it? And to make it worse it's cold and Valentine's day is just around the corner...

How dark? if you don't mind me asking. It seems we have that in common here. And yeah holiday season and Valentine's day only makes you more self conscious about yourself and women in general.

Also, remember that this is only temporary. The hot girls are far closer to reach than you think. I suggest you rebuild yourself up by sleeping with many "cute" and "kinda cute" girls first, though. It will help you a lot with abundance.

Yeah, i was thinking of starting that again and build myself up like the old days. Im glad to have support from people like you and AFC noob so thanks again.

 

[Chase]

One thing I'd point out here too, Eternity, in addition to what other guys have said-

Another pretty girl walks by with her friend, she has a bitchy voice and are talking crap about someone i dont know; they walk away leaving me wondering if they didn't have a pretty face, would they feel invisible too or would they feel like the other women who are ignored by the multitude of men who dont look at them twice because the are not "hot" or pretty as them. They probably dont know much of that feeling, everyone has different experiences.

You're making an assumption here that no doubt feels like it's probably perfectly valid, but it's based on a belief that these girls are two dimensional stereotypes of themselves that's almost certainly not correct.

I've met a lot of beautiful women in my day, but I've never met a single one who hasn't suffered over something or gone through some hard times. When you assume that someone else has always "had it easy," you're usually doing both yourself and the person you're making assumptions about a great disservice.

Another thing I'd say in this regard is this: people tend to put on a front around friends. Especially people who act high and mighty... these people tend to have a more damaged past than others. The movies like portraying snobby girls as having ALWAYS been that way, but snobbishness is a defense mechanism; it's ego-protective. It's saying, "I am better than you," to make yourself feel better about yourself. Women who've had nice, happy lives with everyone around them treating them wonderfully do not do this.

Every girl I've met who acts snobbish has something in her past of people being rude to her or disrespecting her or treating her like not part of the "in crowd." As a defense mechanism, she adopts a snobbish attitude, which attracts other, similar girls around her, and they can walk around and laugh about how "superior" they are to everyone else. These girls often become obsessed with their looks, and get alluring fashion, perfect hair, and great makeup to make themselves look "hot," while often not being naturally beautiful.

They compensate for having been not the BEST when young by trying to BECOME the best and act like they're BETTER.

It's easy to judge, yes. Easy to look around and say, "That person's always had it easy." But... it tends not to be terribly accurate, and it tends to slate you for being stuck in place, instead of building bridges to have the kinds of people you want in your life.

You can build yourself up, or you can tear others down; but you only have the time and energy for one.

Chase

 

[Eternity]

Very true. Thanks for the input.

 

[The Tool]

When I first started to get into PUA it was because I wanted to take revenge on all of the women that hurt me or rejected me in the past, the first thing that came to my mind was because they fucked my feelings, I wanted to FUCK THEM!!! (literally) then drop them off the face of the earth making them wonder why for whatever amount of time that may be. Sometimes I still have these thoughts but they quickly disapear thanks to the absolute abundance I have and all the success that has come my way. It is because of all of the rejection I have had that I am not afriad to approach women or talk to any of them regardless of my intentions. Because through every interaction there is a learning experience,. I.E there is always a positive in a negative.

 

[Just_Dave]

Hey Eternity,

I have no reason to chastise you on how you feel, you seem to have grown from your experience toward the end of the actual post. There is one thing that you should know one "one of those days", you're taking steps to improve your life. I really loved your post for the honesty in the post, it's the real look at how frustrating life can be when you want to change and move on.

"I am glad to be a member of these boards and hope to improve my skills one step at a time again." even after the so called "rant" after all of what you wrote this is your final statement. Well I see this as the most valid. I wish you success in your new year, as well as everyone else on the boards.

Best regards,

Just Dave

 

[aliparpar]

One of the suggestions I can give you is to go sign up for some salsa classes. It's a great way to learn,meet and dance with new great girls and the whole atmosphere will change your mood into a positive one. Also, knowing how to dance salsa/bachata will give you a great advantage in the field of seduction. It's also a great confidence boost for yourself. if you ask me what's my plan for 2013; I have already told you one of my goals. And Happy New year!!!

 

[Eternity]

@ The Tool, ironically if my one itis hadn't rejected me, i would've never gotten into P.U and found this forum and others who helped me see there is more than what society teaches us. I am so glad i found Chase's site one night after looking for answers to my many questions. He has shown me the way per say more than any PUA out there... So thank you Chase if ur reading this!
@ Just Dave, Kind words bro, i thank u for them. I dont wish for anyone to go through one itis, its something very unproductive and destructive to one's self esteem. Keep ur options open guys dont invest unless she's investing back and ur both attracted to each other.
If i saw my girl again i probably wouldn't keep my cool yet but i know i will in the future.

@ aliparpar, Maybe i will in the future bro I wish u the best too and Happy New Year!

Thank you guys (Chase,The Tool, Just Dave, aliparpar). I appreciate ur input and i wish u guys a Happy New Year and wish the best to u guys!