Online dating experience

[SlayerCJ82]

Hi all
I’m an older guy (early 40s) out of an LTR for a while and very rusty. recently getting back into pickup using OD mainly the past 6-8weeks now and’ back in the jungle ‘of that.

I’m about 7.5 in looks , handsome and 5’11” tall . Not wealthy. Average guy I guess but have face looks. Not buff.

Have been logging many hours in these weeks ..But goddamn not many matches/ results so far vs effort input to if . It’s been rough.
I’ve been mass swiping but only matching with fuglies and mutants and assorted ‘no-way’s’

Do you guys still use Online Dating or is it just gone to shit these last 10 years as I hear from some friends.

I’m still plugging tryna “hack” it but sheeit, it’s a mega-grind.

So far I’ve been upgrading and tweaking my pictures steadily over these weeks as they were really shit to begin with
and this is of course key .

and tweaking my bio 50 times ( only a bit of a difference in results tbh from all my tweaks and changes) it seems a steady result of fuglies and BBWs for me regardless of tweaks/upgrades to pics and bio.

I can’t even get a coffee date happening.
I think I’ve hooked a few of the decent ish chicks I occasionally get .,,,but then come the number request they flake /ghost and that’s the end. Grr.

I’m almost at the point of going full-catfish and using pics of a male model w a 6 pack just to get a coffee date.
Sheesh.


Questions;
-should I give up or drive on ?what are my chances as an older guy now with chicks same age or younger than me

-who has the best Online Game material for strategy these days - ???

Any recommendations and top tips from u guys who are winning at OD here please in a few bullet points re upgrading pics and bio, nutshell it for me please

mall advice much appreciated.
I’m almost ready to delete apps and bail

 

[SlayerCJ82]

Ps I’ve had a good experience in the past with OD and getting some lays steadily over a period when last single. 7ish years ago now tho.(mid 30s then)

 

[Atlas IV]

I’m almost ready to delete apps and bail

This is what you need to do!

The gender balance in online dating apps is completely skewed, it's something like 80% men and 20% women. The top 10% of guys are snagging most of the available girls, and average guys just can't compete. This explains your disappointing experience.

For most guys, cold approach is the only level playing field. If you've never done it before I'd start with the newbie assignment (stickied in the Beginner forum).

 

[SlayerCJ82]

This is what you need to do!

The gender balance in online dating apps is completely skewed, it's something like 80% men and 20% women. The top 10% of guys are snagging most of the available girls, and average guys just can't compete. This explains your disappointing experience.

For most guys, cold approach is the only level playing field. If you've never done it before I'd start with the newbie assignment (stickied in the Beginner forum).

Yeah
This 80/20 has been what I’ve been reading on other forums.. Hoping it was just BP defeatism. But seems true.

I thought hack’ it with some clever game.
But the problem is girls can just leave a convo and forget a guy as they are bombarded with offers, I’d really need to get inside their head.

I still think it’s possible to do that but may not be worth the effort tbh.

Maybe just straight catfish then with better pics all the way to the meet ., and then just hope they bang me after the effort made on their part .. lol

 

[SlayerCJ82]

I’ve been pondering does standing out and having value even really work on online dating. Ie having a different persona /avatar than other guys with similar looks level / height to me… or being hysterically funny…
Doesn’t seem to work..

 

[Derek da man]

-should I give up or drive on ?what are my chances as an older guy now with chicks same age or younger than me

-who has the best Online Game material for strategy these days - ???

Personally I've got an OD presence and very occasionally will I get a date from it, 1 in 6 months ish, but TBH it's probably not worth the time beyond the entertainment value of swiping. Best material I've seen is GC as there are a number of very good guides, but I would say I don't watch Youtube channels and things like that.

I've found Speed dating to be quite good but you will be limited to the age bands that they offer/promote and while you may not find a 10 you will find plenty of solid 7-8s plus it's good for your confidence and also working on your ability to move from a conversation to a date. However, you don't want to go to every dating session they have as you will get the same faces so there needs to be gaps in between.

The best way for me is to get involved in activities, I did a cooking course at a local college and I also do dance classes (Salsa, Bachata, Kizomba). They all provide easy access but the quantity can be quite limited. I always do activities that I like and enjoy so I haven't really gone for pick-up. Similarly I do singles holidays/weekend/meet-ups which can be fun as sometimes lead to more.

The route you take will depend on if you just want to meet girls or if you go to enjoy the activity and girls are a bonus.

For what it's worth I'm 54 and doing well in terms of dates and the like, much better than when I was younger, mainly as I have improved my confidence significantly through this forum. Obviously I also have fundamentals to a reasonable level too.

 

[SlayerCJ82]

Hi Derek
Good idea re the dance .
Speaking to a friend tonite he recommended Bachata also.

 

[SlayerCJ82]

I need a course with tips (and pics) on best type of photos to use with examples etc

I’ve realised my photos are actually pretty garbage quality and mostly selfies . Which are the worst type

it’s all the pics really in OD