Online & Apps Online dating first messages

[Anonymous]

Hey bros, I recently joined match.com and have been making up and trying out "first message" openers on girls in my area. I have a few I like (that I just copy and paste with whatever modifications needed based on the lady's profile). This is one I recently started using and I was wondering what you guys think of it?
"Wow! We both love movies, hiking and puppies... Plus, you're 5'6'' (the perfect height for a woman) and you're so sooo pretty! I think I love you.
Lol. Seriously though, you're kinda cute and I like your profile for more than just your pictures. I like analyzing people and I can tell a lot about a person by how they answer certain questions... So tell me, if you could be anywhere right now as you read this, where would it be? Don't think hard about it... Just answer."

I also would love to see this as a go-to topic/thread for some good examples of online dating openers that anybody has to offer. Basically things and tips for getting her to actually respond to your messages since messaging a beautiful girl online is like trying to talk to a celebrity at the Oscars.

 

[A Life Loquacious]

Totally ditch the 'perfect' and 'pretty' stuff for a start. It's never a good idea to give someone you have never met in person the idea that they are everything you've been looking for personified! In fact, it's risky even after a couple of dates!

You're better off checking Chase's technique here and adapting it to suit your style.

 

[Just_Dave]

Totally ditch the 'perfect' and 'pretty' stuff for a start. It's never a good idea to give someone you have never met in person the idea that they are everything you've been looking for personified! In fact, it's risky even after a couple of dates!

You're better off checking Chase's technique here and adapting it to suit your style.

Agreed, and the "I think I love you" comes off way too strong desperate and creepy. The message itself is way too long and shows too much effort. If a girl sent me a Message like that I'd be terrified and run for the hills. Especially if we never met kissed or been intimate.

 

[Anonymous]

I hadn't even seen Chase's post on that yet. I'll check that out right now.Thanks
Yeah, I do know how it sounds... But I have gotten 5 replies from it over the past 2 days from girls I'm interested in. My goal was to make the strong stuff at the beginning sound like I'm making fun of those kinds of guys (and get her to actually read it instead of pass it off as boring) and then come in with the rest and the question.

 

[A Life Loquacious]

Hmm, I get that on second reading, but only now that you mention it. Bearing in mind how many messages most attractive women get it's probably testament to you having a good profile picture/profile text that gets them worked up enough to reply! I just always assume that most girls are probably skim-reading through loads of messages from chumps so I try to avoid using too much nuance or structured levels until I have a relatively good indication that they're invested in the interaction and are paying attention...

 

[Franco]

EDIT: This topic was moved from "Beginners" to "Online Dating."

Hey opensesame,

Yeah, I do know how it sounds... But I have gotten 5 replies from it over the past 2 days from girls I'm interested in.

Coming from experience, unless you actually get a date from one of these women, replies mean nothing. I used to get hundreds of replies from women on OkCupid, but sometimes my turnover rate for dates from those hundreds of responses would be less than 5%. Once you start actually getting dates, then you can consider your messaging style as a recipe for success.

I would check out Chase's article on Online Dating like Dave mentioned, but it is also geared towards a much more casual online dating scene (like Plenty of Fish). On Match.com, you are paying money to use the site, so it is generally considered to be a more "serious" dating realm. Your profile should definitely incorporate humor and wit, but you'll probably want to be much more serious about some things (such as your dreams and goals).

As far as messaging goes, you will want to follow Chase's rule of not putting in more effort than she does. Keep your messages short, fun, and to the point. These will usually get you the best results.

Hope this helps!

- Franco

 

[Anonymous]

Yeah I can see that it could be read wrong from her perspective.
Franco, that makes good sense... Especially after reading Chase's article. I'm actually going to try his template and message style on POF and see what happens (I tried that site quite a while back and had zero success so I'm looking forward to the experiment). Then I'll implement it for Match.com.
Anyways I learned last night (and I keep learning pretty much every night I go out) that actual real-world interaction with girls definitely gets real results.