Only getting vague response about a second date

[Xpander]

Some time ago I got invited to have a fling with this attached, older (40) than me woman. I didn't act on it back then, which I regret now. She looks good/young to be 40. Anyway lately I decided that I wanted to give it a shot with her. She has displayed all sorts of signals all the time, so I would guess she is still interested.
A couple of weeks ago I invited her for a coffee.

It went like this:
Me: "Hey! Do you have a free evening this week?"
Her: "Yes I do, do you have scary plans going on? (hihi)"
Me: "Is coffee scary?"
Her:"Coffee sounds very nice, just tell me when and I will join!"
We set up a date, and meet up as planned. The date goes well, but I got a feeling she either tried to find out if it was a real date, or was expecting it to just be a friendly meeting. I didn't think I was friendzoned because I have been touching her quite a bit, which she has enjoyed. I did that at this date as well, like holding around her waist when we walked, touching her face, leg-flirting (footsie), hugging etc. As we parted she had to leave in order to bake a cake for her son.
The Monday four days later I texted her for a second date (we had seen each other in between, but not talked about the date because there were others around). I made sure to specify it was a real date this time.

It went like this:
Me: "Hi there, take care so you don't fall in the stairs! (referring to something we talked about earlier). So do you have a free evening for a date this week?"
Her: "This week is busy for me, can't we talk about it next week?"
Me: "Next week is ok, do you have plans for next Monday?"
Her: "No reply.."
Me: "If you want to schedule later it is ok, have a nice evening!"
Her: "Sorry about late reply, forgot my phone in the jacket! Can't we talk about it next week, I am maybe busy next Monday but I don't know yet. Talk to you tomorrow "

So I decided to give it another shot, and texted her again this Friday (same week).
Me: "Hey, how are you. How's your schedule looking like? I was thinking you could come to me and I'll make some food as well"
Her: "He he, quite a generous offer with food and everything! :-] Let's just talk about it next week. Have a nice weekend!"

So here I am, without a second date. Is it still hope, and if so what should I do next?

 

[aliparpar]

As from what I can read your date went somehow near to mine . viewtopic.php?f=5&t=890

I didn't want to waste time on her so I said if we could rearrange any time this would be good. but also didn't like chasing her so I added that if she's busy that's ok too. She was a great girl and I had nice date with her.

This might sound like an ultimatum(It is not really, It just shows you have other options which is good), but I can't think of any other way to see how she feels about you.

In your case, If she's really interested in you, she would reply back trying to invest and arrange a date rather than saying what the girl did in my case.

or You can just send her the first bit and hope for the best that she's actually really busy and you've got unlucky .

Anyway, I wish you luck

 

[Xpander]

Thanks for your reply. She could be busy as she has a family and all. I was thinking of telling her to contact me when she is ready. Also as Chase writes I shouldn't try to be her boyfriend, as attached women don't want that, so I was thinking of somehow make it clear that I only look for a fling. But how do I tell her that?

 

[Garrett]

Xpander,

I feel like this women you are going after views you as a boyfriend/friend seeing as you moved too slowly. It was good that you were touching her a bit, but the fact that you haven't slept with her has costed you. Her emotions for you have probably dipped a bit because you didn't escalate to intimacy. In your case, I think you could try being a bit persistent, but I feel like the way you framed the interaction and the fact that you're moving slowly is going to cost you on this one...

With that being said, hope is not lost my friend! My advice is to be a bit persistent, wait until Sunday and ask her how her week is looking, and just tell her you wanted to take her out for a hot chocolate/coffee or whatever you have planned. Take her out, tell her you want to go back to your place and maybe cook something, and within 10 minutes of her being at your place, kiss her and take her to bed then cook... naked . Haha, jokes aside, you could try doing that and see how it goes! Just don't waste anymore time, I think you still have a shot, but don't put it off any longer or else you'll get F-zoned. If you don't sleep with her the next time she meets up with you, I say cut and run... Run to new, beautiful women on the street who are awaiting a masculine man to sweep them off their feet. Anyways, I'm in a corny mood, but you catch my drift!

Cheers,
Garrett

 

[Xpander]

Thanks Garrett! I agree with what you are saying, that I have been moving too slow etc.

When you say Sunday, do you mean today or in one week? I would guess I should wait one week as I asked her out just two days ago?
I will see her in between as well, wouldn't it be best to show less interest then (like I'm moving on)? I think part of the problem is that I've started to have feelings for her, and she has noticed, which is no good as she is not looking for a boyfriend.

Maybe I should even start talking about other girls, as I do have some other prospects going on?

 

[Flames]

I think maybe she wants to talk about it next week