I work in a plant nursery and picked up one of my fellow employees while she was watering some plants with an indirect opener on Friday. We met up on Monday for coffee and she was hesitant, in control of herself and reflective, but somehow also hot from the beginning, seeming to have decided she wanted to sleep with me if I guided her smoothly. Yet I couldn't bring her to my place because my roommates were partying so I decided to bring her into some steam tunnels underneath the nearby university and make a move there. By the time we were going down she had grown extremely open, telling me that she had never told anyone what she was telling me before. But when we entered those steamy chambers where I planned to make a move she grew cold and, when I asked if she was single and if she was coming on to me (separate and appropriate times and tones) she replied: "I have a boyfriend" and a deadpan "no". I asked if she loved him and she said yes, "I've never felt this way about anyone else." At this point told her that "I have no interest in breaking up true love", which was good, then went into auto-rejection myself to protect my ego, which was bad. The statement caused her to back-peddle (though I only noticed in retrospect, reflecting on when she was trying to explain to my shell that there are lots of different types of love). I told her that I travel a lot, implying that I would never be open with her again, gave her a hug (where she clung to me needily) and went home exhausted, my willpower drained. I think I should have made a move sooner and not closed myself off so totally at the end. I now am kicking myself for not making a move and persisting, and not realizing that it was still on even though she said she had a boyfriend who she loved. We even talked about the power of nonverbal communication, but when it came down to it, I failed to register hers because I slipped into victim mentality/auto-rejection.
I am not certain if I still have a chance, but am leaving that nursery job at the end of next week so am considering confidently pulling her somewhere private and kissing her or arranging a new meetup (perhaps by explaining jokingly that I misunderstood something she said?)
I'm probably going to see her tomorrow, and if I don't have a plan nothing will happen. I would rather not let this girl slip away, as she would make a fantastic lover, but I'm not sure what move would mostly likely succeed. Any suggestions?
I am not certain if I still have a chance, but am leaving that nursery job at the end of next week so am considering confidently pulling her somewhere private and kissing her or arranging a new meetup (perhaps by explaining jokingly that I misunderstood something she said?)
I'm probably going to see her tomorrow, and if I don't have a plan nothing will happen. I would rather not let this girl slip away, as she would make a fantastic lover, but I'm not sure what move would mostly likely succeed. Any suggestions?
