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This was a big sticking point of mine. So I’ve decided to make a post on the process in which I took to solve it and hopefully help out others who’ve also been struggled with this issue.
It all started a couple weeks ago when I read this post from Icycalm:
http://maleprivilege.net/viewtopic.php?t=542&p=1209#p1209
In essence his approach is:
You pick a well-known landmark to ask directions for. Approach a girl and be like, "Hey excuse me, I am looking for the well-know landmark” with a big mischievous grin on your face as if you're performing a prank on her.
Then as she's describing the location you asked for, just stare into her eyes while grinning. Once she's finished giving you directions to the spot say, "Actually, I know where the well-known landmark is, I just wanted to stop you and say hi because you look nice today” said again with the same grin.
So I like the picking a "well-known landmark” part of it. That’ll get you more girls than not giving you directions for it Vs if it wasn’t a well known landmark. and that’s good cause like he says, "it gets her into a social mood immediately which is very conducive to whatever may come next”.
However I do not like the example he gives of a well known landmark. In his example, he uses a train station, but to me that leaves too much to chance. "which one?” “uh the 4 train”. I don’t know about where y’all live, but ask any new yorker about public transportation info (if they even take public transportation), they won’t be able to help unless she herself takes that specific train/bus to work/school/etc).
And the more “ local” you get (further away from the touristy section) the less "well known landmarks" there are. So then I asked myself, if I didn’t have a phone on me (or my phone died) and I wasn’t from the city I’m approaching in, what are places I’d wanna know where they’re at + if I were to ask someone for directions to it, they’d be able to tell me where’s it at?
Which lead me to chain stores. Here for example are the biggest chain stores in New York:
From here it was a simple process of elimination. Which of these spots is open 24/7 (so it would make sense if I were to ask a chick at 1:38AM to go there). I like approaching at night for street game so that’s why this criteria was important to me. daygame street gamers this doesn’t apply obvi.
So for instance I can't use Starbucks because they aren’t open 24/7. It wouldn't make sense for me to ask for directions to there. ("why the fuck does he want to know if they’re closed?").
And 2nd: which of these places also gives me a good/neutral social frame.
Asking directions for Starbucks for instance, would’ve given me good social frame, but again they'd be closed at this hour. Asking directions for McDonald’s leaves it too much to chance that I’ll get negatively judged (knee-jerk) on that by health freaks ("ugh he eats McDonald’s?". Not that I eat McDs but yeah).
So for me the ones on that list, that passed those two criterias were CVS and Duane Reade (they’re chain pharmacies for non-american readers). both of these stores are well known by locals here and there's enough of them that even if she isn’t aware of the one thats on 32nd St for instance, she might know of the one that’s on the corner of 41st St (at the end of this post, I’ll talk about maximizing the odds that she’ll know where it is).
Hey excuse me. do you know if there’s a X (chain store with good/neutral social frame+open 24/7 in your area) around here?
Alright so let me talk about why I like the "asking for directions” as the first words coming out of your mouth on approach. Couple quotes from the article:
"There's no need for strategizing or second-guessing or doubting yourself and the situation: just ask the damn question […] If EVERY daygame approach you perform begins with a harmless request for directions, then there's no reason for you to AVOID opening, and hence every ATTEMPT at an opening will be successful!”
So I like the zero approach anxiety part about it. Cause you'll never get harshly instantly rejected for asking. Bam takes that fear away. UNLESS she herself is a total weirdo. And there’s no reframing her into being weird when she’s actually not being weird because she literally IS weird. Ignoring/saying “not interested sorry” to a random guy telling her she’s cute is normal. Ignoring a random guy asking for directions is not.
Alright so i wrote above talking about, "if I didn’t have a phone on me (or if my phone died)” and that’s another key with making this approach work. You gotta ask for directions without a phone in your hands. Cause if you do got it in your hands while approaching, she’s thinking, “umm he’s got a phone. can’t he just look it up himself? oh he’s hitting on me => which fucks up the followup when I reveal my intentions.
however you can still be listening to music. just make sure ur not holding ur phone in your hands as you approach. your frames that your too lazy to search for the spot.
In my "indirect/direct 30 day challenges” I talked about how, "Asking chicks for directions don't reveal intentions”. should have added with a caveat, "unless you've got a phone in your hands”.
And lastly there’s this video on why this opener is money
7:55 - 8:17
"when challenge is TOO great, you're gonna be anxious/overwhelmed”
The “challenge” here being, thinking of a situational opener when your not in flow state/caught by surprise. So again, ""There's no need for strategizing or second-guessing or doubting yourself and the situation: just ask the damn question”.
alright so that all covers the first half of the opener. The indirect part of it. Now for the second part of it. And for that, I’ll re-link RazorJack’s “putting it all together” post. Only this time I’ll quote a different section from it:
"How do you want to approach her? What do YOU need to feel in the approach?
Me personally, I need to feel the sexual tension in the approach. So I approach in a way that creates sexual tension and that is by touching her and letting her know that I’m interested in her right from the beginning. I want her to know why I’m talking to her. This is what excites me and this is what I NEED to feel or I just won’t continue because I’ll get bored.
Now you may not need to feel sexual tension like I do, maybe you would rather be mysterious in the beginning. In that case you don’t need to open as boldly as I do, you can be a bit more neutral with your approach.
It really doesn’t matter HOW you approach as long as you are doing what you WANT to do and NOT something that you THINK she will find acceptable. You have to remember that someone on top of the social ladder is not going to worry about how the other person sees them or looking for their approval”.
http://pufinest.blogspot.com/2005/08/razorjack-putting-it-all-together.html
So ask yourself: what do I (you) need to feel in the approach to be excited. Me personally, I need to feel that trolling aspect of it to keep myself going. As I looked through my LRs I noticed that I talked about how the opener was never about her. It was always about pumping up my own state (I like spikey situationals because they pump my state, only problem is they’re hard to come up with). So that’s why I liked that he’s trolling her by asking her a question that he has no intentions of finding out the answer to. I don’t like that he’s grinning while he’s asking tho. Cause for me when your trolling somebody, its gotta look like your genuinely asking people a question that you want to find the answer to. It’s when she starts giving me directions, when I’ll interrupt her and be like hey no no i was just fucking with you (smiling). i don’t really care. I just thought you were cute and wanted to come talk with you.
I like the example here starting at 1:15, where the caller's asking her about wanting to speak to Champ? Only as a set up to troll her:
or Limitless EXP here at 0:20, posing as a security guard, telling guests they can’t smoke in this section of the venue, as a setup to troll them:
So if she’s gonna reject me at this point, it’d be softer (cause she got trolled) VS that harsh instant rejection you’d get from going direct immediately. and if she doesn’t reject me, then we keep going. She knows what this is about. She likes my looks (face, height, frame, fashion) + vibe (eye contact, facial expressions, tonality and vibe (charming troll).
Again from TheApproach:
"Value is largely perceived as a vibe which is sensed on a subconscious level. How long does it take you to figure out if you like a person or not? 1 minute? 30 seconds? Some of my most memorable relationships came from 1‐3 minute number closes”.
Now lets go back to the video from A.G Hayden above for a sec and watch the 11:42-12:02 segment when he talks about the connection between opening direct and god mode?
Now wouldn’t you say that'd be a great state to be in, if in case it doesn’t work out with this one chick? (remember this approach pretty much eliminates the harsh instant rejection aspect of it. So you get the good from going direct without the bad).
Now lets go back to maximizing your odds that she’ll give you directions (if she still doesn’t know where the spot is at after this, then its fine too. Your follow up will just have to be less troll-y and more matching her “idk sorry” vibe. Not ideal, but workable).
Pull up google maps. Type in the name of the chain in the search. Now go hover over an area that hosts some of the bars you like going to. and hit, “Search this area” on the map. That will pull up the locations of the nearest chains in that area. So what you’ll want to do is, is to make yourself a block for that area. What I mean is have a starting spot at an an avenue/street. and an end spot. that’s near the chain. To give you the highest odds, of girls walking in this area have definitely seen at least one of them.
here’s a visual of what I mean: (for me the visual doesn't show up on my mobile, so check it out on ur laptop)
So here I’d as a starting point start on East Houston St, go up and turn right on Mott St. Turn right on Bleecker St. then down Bowery to go back to East Houston. This is obviously just an example. Ideally you’ll want your “blocks” to be bigger than this, and you’ll want to scout those streets for foot traffic (we don’t want to be walking down long empty streets know what I mean?) Other things you’ll want to do is to check out nearby avenues and walk further down avenues to see if it gets better. Then readjust your “block”. After you feel satisfied with your block in this area, hover on over to another area in the city in google maps and rinse repeat.
I recommend on a night out to have 2-3 blocks within close walking distance. Don’t want to risk being seen as an absolute lunatic by sitting spectators having their dinner outside, noticing you’ve passed them by on the street for the 8th time now, So after say the 3rd time you’ve circled the block and you haven’t seen anything. Go to your next block and see if its better. If its not, then walk on over to another block nearby or return to your original block. Paying attention to the time you were at these blocks to see if you can time things better. (i.e. at 10PM it was dead over here, but at 12am it was live).
Troubleshooting: if in case your still nervous about doing this approach. then build your state by:
1) just saying the first line (directions) then moving on.
2) asking if is this is towards the avenue your going towards (i.e. if in your “block" you highlighted that your going from 8th avenue towards 7th avenue, ask a passerby if "is this is towards 7th"? (vs 9th)
3) Take a break and actually go to the pharmacy to get yourself an energy drink/bar.
4) high five/fist bump random people as you walk past them.
Alright that about does it for opening girls on the street. From there you guys are free to take the interaction whichever way you desire
It all started a couple weeks ago when I read this post from Icycalm:
http://maleprivilege.net/viewtopic.php?t=542&p=1209#p1209
In essence his approach is:
You pick a well-known landmark to ask directions for. Approach a girl and be like, "Hey excuse me, I am looking for the well-know landmark” with a big mischievous grin on your face as if you're performing a prank on her.
Then as she's describing the location you asked for, just stare into her eyes while grinning. Once she's finished giving you directions to the spot say, "Actually, I know where the well-known landmark is, I just wanted to stop you and say hi because you look nice today” said again with the same grin.
So I like the picking a "well-known landmark” part of it. That’ll get you more girls than not giving you directions for it Vs if it wasn’t a well known landmark. and that’s good cause like he says, "it gets her into a social mood immediately which is very conducive to whatever may come next”.
However I do not like the example he gives of a well known landmark. In his example, he uses a train station, but to me that leaves too much to chance. "which one?” “uh the 4 train”. I don’t know about where y’all live, but ask any new yorker about public transportation info (if they even take public transportation), they won’t be able to help unless she herself takes that specific train/bus to work/school/etc).
And the more “ local” you get (further away from the touristy section) the less "well known landmarks" there are. So then I asked myself, if I didn’t have a phone on me (or my phone died) and I wasn’t from the city I’m approaching in, what are places I’d wanna know where they’re at + if I were to ask someone for directions to it, they’d be able to tell me where’s it at?
Which lead me to chain stores. Here for example are the biggest chain stores in New York:
From here it was a simple process of elimination. Which of these spots is open 24/7 (so it would make sense if I were to ask a chick at 1:38AM to go there). I like approaching at night for street game so that’s why this criteria was important to me. daygame street gamers this doesn’t apply obvi.
So for instance I can't use Starbucks because they aren’t open 24/7. It wouldn't make sense for me to ask for directions to there. ("why the fuck does he want to know if they’re closed?").
And 2nd: which of these places also gives me a good/neutral social frame.
Asking directions for Starbucks for instance, would’ve given me good social frame, but again they'd be closed at this hour. Asking directions for McDonald’s leaves it too much to chance that I’ll get negatively judged (knee-jerk) on that by health freaks ("ugh he eats McDonald’s?". Not that I eat McDs but yeah).
So for me the ones on that list, that passed those two criterias were CVS and Duane Reade (they’re chain pharmacies for non-american readers). both of these stores are well known by locals here and there's enough of them that even if she isn’t aware of the one thats on 32nd St for instance, she might know of the one that’s on the corner of 41st St (at the end of this post, I’ll talk about maximizing the odds that she’ll know where it is).
Hey excuse me. do you know if there’s a X (chain store with good/neutral social frame+open 24/7 in your area) around here?
Alright so let me talk about why I like the "asking for directions” as the first words coming out of your mouth on approach. Couple quotes from the article:
"There's no need for strategizing or second-guessing or doubting yourself and the situation: just ask the damn question […] If EVERY daygame approach you perform begins with a harmless request for directions, then there's no reason for you to AVOID opening, and hence every ATTEMPT at an opening will be successful!”
So I like the zero approach anxiety part about it. Cause you'll never get harshly instantly rejected for asking. Bam takes that fear away. UNLESS she herself is a total weirdo. And there’s no reframing her into being weird when she’s actually not being weird because she literally IS weird. Ignoring/saying “not interested sorry” to a random guy telling her she’s cute is normal. Ignoring a random guy asking for directions is not.
Alright so i wrote above talking about, "if I didn’t have a phone on me (or if my phone died)” and that’s another key with making this approach work. You gotta ask for directions without a phone in your hands. Cause if you do got it in your hands while approaching, she’s thinking, “umm he’s got a phone. can’t he just look it up himself? oh he’s hitting on me => which fucks up the followup when I reveal my intentions.
however you can still be listening to music. just make sure ur not holding ur phone in your hands as you approach. your frames that your too lazy to search for the spot.
In my "indirect/direct 30 day challenges” I talked about how, "Asking chicks for directions don't reveal intentions”. should have added with a caveat, "unless you've got a phone in your hands”.
And lastly there’s this video on why this opener is money
7:55 - 8:17
"when challenge is TOO great, you're gonna be anxious/overwhelmed”
The “challenge” here being, thinking of a situational opener when your not in flow state/caught by surprise. So again, ""There's no need for strategizing or second-guessing or doubting yourself and the situation: just ask the damn question”.
alright so that all covers the first half of the opener. The indirect part of it. Now for the second part of it. And for that, I’ll re-link RazorJack’s “putting it all together” post. Only this time I’ll quote a different section from it:
"How do you want to approach her? What do YOU need to feel in the approach?
Me personally, I need to feel the sexual tension in the approach. So I approach in a way that creates sexual tension and that is by touching her and letting her know that I’m interested in her right from the beginning. I want her to know why I’m talking to her. This is what excites me and this is what I NEED to feel or I just won’t continue because I’ll get bored.
Now you may not need to feel sexual tension like I do, maybe you would rather be mysterious in the beginning. In that case you don’t need to open as boldly as I do, you can be a bit more neutral with your approach.
It really doesn’t matter HOW you approach as long as you are doing what you WANT to do and NOT something that you THINK she will find acceptable. You have to remember that someone on top of the social ladder is not going to worry about how the other person sees them or looking for their approval”.
http://pufinest.blogspot.com/2005/08/razorjack-putting-it-all-together.html
So ask yourself: what do I (you) need to feel in the approach to be excited. Me personally, I need to feel that trolling aspect of it to keep myself going. As I looked through my LRs I noticed that I talked about how the opener was never about her. It was always about pumping up my own state (I like spikey situationals because they pump my state, only problem is they’re hard to come up with). So that’s why I liked that he’s trolling her by asking her a question that he has no intentions of finding out the answer to. I don’t like that he’s grinning while he’s asking tho. Cause for me when your trolling somebody, its gotta look like your genuinely asking people a question that you want to find the answer to. It’s when she starts giving me directions, when I’ll interrupt her and be like hey no no i was just fucking with you (smiling). i don’t really care. I just thought you were cute and wanted to come talk with you.
I like the example here starting at 1:15, where the caller's asking her about wanting to speak to Champ? Only as a set up to troll her:
So if she’s gonna reject me at this point, it’d be softer (cause she got trolled) VS that harsh instant rejection you’d get from going direct immediately. and if she doesn’t reject me, then we keep going. She knows what this is about. She likes my looks (face, height, frame, fashion) + vibe (eye contact, facial expressions, tonality and vibe (charming troll).
Again from TheApproach:
"Value is largely perceived as a vibe which is sensed on a subconscious level. How long does it take you to figure out if you like a person or not? 1 minute? 30 seconds? Some of my most memorable relationships came from 1‐3 minute number closes”.
Now lets go back to the video from A.G Hayden above for a sec and watch the 11:42-12:02 segment when he talks about the connection between opening direct and god mode?
Now wouldn’t you say that'd be a great state to be in, if in case it doesn’t work out with this one chick? (remember this approach pretty much eliminates the harsh instant rejection aspect of it. So you get the good from going direct without the bad).
Now lets go back to maximizing your odds that she’ll give you directions (if she still doesn’t know where the spot is at after this, then its fine too. Your follow up will just have to be less troll-y and more matching her “idk sorry” vibe. Not ideal, but workable).
Pull up google maps. Type in the name of the chain in the search. Now go hover over an area that hosts some of the bars you like going to. and hit, “Search this area” on the map. That will pull up the locations of the nearest chains in that area. So what you’ll want to do is, is to make yourself a block for that area. What I mean is have a starting spot at an an avenue/street. and an end spot. that’s near the chain. To give you the highest odds, of girls walking in this area have definitely seen at least one of them.
here’s a visual of what I mean: (for me the visual doesn't show up on my mobile, so check it out on ur laptop)
So here I’d as a starting point start on East Houston St, go up and turn right on Mott St. Turn right on Bleecker St. then down Bowery to go back to East Houston. This is obviously just an example. Ideally you’ll want your “blocks” to be bigger than this, and you’ll want to scout those streets for foot traffic (we don’t want to be walking down long empty streets know what I mean?) Other things you’ll want to do is to check out nearby avenues and walk further down avenues to see if it gets better. Then readjust your “block”. After you feel satisfied with your block in this area, hover on over to another area in the city in google maps and rinse repeat.
I recommend on a night out to have 2-3 blocks within close walking distance. Don’t want to risk being seen as an absolute lunatic by sitting spectators having their dinner outside, noticing you’ve passed them by on the street for the 8th time now, So after say the 3rd time you’ve circled the block and you haven’t seen anything. Go to your next block and see if its better. If its not, then walk on over to another block nearby or return to your original block. Paying attention to the time you were at these blocks to see if you can time things better. (i.e. at 10PM it was dead over here, but at 12am it was live).
Troubleshooting: if in case your still nervous about doing this approach. then build your state by:
1) just saying the first line (directions) then moving on.
2) asking if is this is towards the avenue your going towards (i.e. if in your “block" you highlighted that your going from 8th avenue towards 7th avenue, ask a passerby if "is this is towards 7th"? (vs 9th)
3) Take a break and actually go to the pharmacy to get yourself an energy drink/bar.
4) high five/fist bump random people as you walk past them.
Alright that about does it for opening girls on the street. From there you guys are free to take the interaction whichever way you desire
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